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Need support with this new ocd issue :-(


Guest Rachiex

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Guest Rachiex

Hi everyone

about 12 days ago I stayed in a hotel that had bed bugs in it. Friends warned me to immediately wash everything in hot water when I got home and to throw away my suitcase. As I tend to have ocd symptoms I didn't throw the suitcase away as I thought that might be playing to the ocd, but I washed myself and all the clothes immediately.

Last Wednesday I seemed very unwell with flu like symptoms and then by the Thursday I broke out in spots. The spots kept coming in waves until yesterday. By sunday I'd convinced myself I was being bitten by bed bugs during the night and I packed a few things and stayed at my mums til today.

I've now come home. Yesterday I saw a doctor who said the spots looked viral, may even be chickenpox (not had it) but she wasn't completely sure and couldn't rule out bites.

I have enough evidence that this is chickenpox, maybe a bit more evidence than that it could be bedbugs. I'd prefer it to be chickenpox even though I'm not well.

However I'm dreading going to bed tonight now. I'm finding it a challenge to get the thoughts out of my head of the bugs coming out, in groups and feeding on me while I'm asleep. I keep thinking they'll go in my mouth!

I know about exposure and response prevention but it would be great to hear your thoughts or anyone's expertise. I'm now hoping I don't wake up with more spots because I will think they are bites. My mum said to stay with her until my spots were gone and then if I got more after going home I'd know it was something at home. However I thought I should put myself back in the environment even though I don't like it.

Anyway it would be great to hear from others :-)

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It sounds like you're on the right track by going home and esessentially facing your fears. I would definitely keep an eye on those spots. I'm sure they're nothing serious. Do you have a dog or a cat at home? Is there a history of skin sensitivity in your family? Did you switch laundry detergent or body wash recently?

With the the thoughts, I would recommend just ignoring them as best you can. Maybe change your bedsheets or pillow cases just to make you feel a bit better.

Best of luck, Rachiex.

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It sounds like you're on the right track by going home and esessentially facing your fears. I would definitely keep an eye on those spots. I'm sure they're nothing serious. Do you have a dog or a cat at home? Is there a history of skin sensitivity in your family? Did you switch laundry detergent or body wash recently?

With the the thoughts, I would recommend just ignoring them as best you can. Maybe change your bedsheets or pillow cases just to make you feel a bit better.

Best of luck, Rachiex.

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Ocd makes us make links with things that happen and could make our worries plausible.the other day i gave kids some ice cream at a party and i worried id dropped medicine in it by accident.i was able to make myself see that this was unlikely and ocd eventually.however then one of the kids got sick which fuelled my worry and made me think i had done it.obviously the kid was fine and it was just ocd but at the time i was distraught. Most people wohld just dismiss these things but ocd causes us go link things and worry.

I would do whatever you are supposed to do for bed bugs ( i dont know what this is ) that anyone else would do - and then try and forget about it being bed bugs .see how the spots go and try to distract yourself from thinking about them .keep busy doing something you like and before you know it they will be clearing away.you will be fine,as was the kid, the hard part of ocd is accepting this.

Hope this helps and that you are feeling better.

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Guest Rachiex

It sounds like you're on the right track by going home and esessentially facing your fears. I would definitely keep an eye on those spots. I'm sure they're nothing serious. Do you have a dog or a cat at home? Is there a history of skin sensitivity in your family? Did you switch laundry detergent or body wash recently?

With the the thoughts, I would recommend just ignoring them as best you can. Maybe change your bedsheets or pillow cases just to make you feel a bit better.

Best of luck, Rachiex.

Thanks kelsrae20

I've been told by the doctor that they are 95% sure they are chickenpox. The difficulty I'm having is that when the spots came up (and kept coming up, new ones everyday) I was convinced I was being bitten by bed bugs at night.

Now the problem is that I can't get the thought out of my mind of waking up at the hotel and seeing four of them, each at a different stage of the lifecycle (ugh!) crawling around near me on the bed. I know that they wait for you to be sound asleep before they come out. The whole thing gives me the creeps.

I know Dr Grayson's approach is helpful, accepting the uncertainty, staying with the 'not knowing.' It's just hard. I haven't done everything I should do to prevent the bugs being transferred back to my home. I didn't lose the rucksack or the suitcase straight away, there may have been eggs on them. I haven't gone through with having the exterminators come out because I've now been told my spots are most likely something else.

I suppose the ERP approach is for me to imagine that I'm waking up in bed in the early hours and I'm seeing groups of bedbugs.....

It's just so uncomfortable not having absolute certainty (or as near as you can) that I can go to bed and see it as my safe sanctuary again. Thanks for listening

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Guest Rachiex

Ocd makes us make links with things that happen and could make our worries plausible.the other day i gave kids some ice cream at a party and i worried id dropped medicine in it by accident.i was able to make myself see that this was unlikely and ocd eventually.however then one of the kids got sick which fuelled my worry and made me think i had done it.obviously the kid was fine and it was just ocd but at the time i was distraught. Most people wohld just dismiss these things but ocd causes us go link things and worry.

I would do whatever you are supposed to do for bed bugs ( i dont know what this is ) that anyone else would do - and then try and forget about it being bed bugs .see how the spots go and try to distract yourself from thinking about them .keep busy doing something you like and before you know it they will be clearing away.you will be fine,as was the kid, the hard part of ocd is accepting this.

Hope this helps and that you are feeling better.

Thanks ecomum

Yes my spots are gradually fading, I'm just living with the uncertainty now that I may have bedbugs in the house. I haven't seen any but I didn't take every single precaution to prevent them being transferred to my home. I haven't got the exterminators out because it's expensive and they won't come while I'm ill anyway, and because I've no evidence that I've got bugs.

It's just hard at the moment because bed time is supposed to be restful and I can't rest as I'm expecting to wake up seeing bugs.

Going to try Dr Grayson style approach, by visualising bed bugs and of waking up with them in/on the bed, etc.....and try to live with the uncertainty. Thanks for listening.

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