Sexual OCD about Body

[Winchester]

Hello. I apologize in advance, but this post is very sexual. I'm not intending to be graphic, that's just the focus of my ocd right now.

I've been in a relationship since my early twenties and recently separated. Now I'm 34, so its been about ten years since I've been with another woman. I recently met a woman at a bar who exchanged numbers with me. She lives about an 8 hour drive from me, but she'll be back in August. We've been texting each other for about a week, and today the texts started to be very sexual. I've been really enjoying the flirting, but suddenly I got an insecurity relating to her breasts. I some how started to feel that it would be euphoria to have my head in her breasts. Her last text to me was "what other things to you want to be honest about". This was after I told her something sexual. I wanted to tell her what my fantasy was about her breasts, but then I started to think that I have some gray hairs on my head which are kind of hidden under my hair if I brush it a certain way, but if my head is right underneath her eyes like that, especially if she runs her fingers through my hair, she will see them clearly. She's in her mid twenties, and I feel that she'll be turned off by thinking that I'm too much older than her.

Now my confidence in general is gone, and it took me seven hours to respond to her last text, and I responded in a general way. I can't really enjoy our conversations now, because I feel I can't fully express my desires and have to hold back.

I've had similar ocd over body insecurities in the past. Does anyone have any advice on overcoming this?

Thanks!

[Guest legend]

do the thing you fear and death of fear is certain

so reply , let the what ifs come in , and acknowledge that its ocd a play

difficult but with the right help and approach , the thoughts will lose there strength

[Winchester]

Thank you Legend. I feel a bit more confident today.