Guest Gloria123 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 (edited) Hi, at my internship there was this good looking boy (teenager, maybe 17 years old), he was really good looking and I was afraid that I was sexual attracted or thought "too much" that he is good looking etc. When having sex with myself the last time I got intrusive thoughts about this boy, saw his face with my inner eyes and wanted to get rid off the thoughts....it wasn´t really successful and I wanted to quit but then I thought "no, then ocd would win, I have to confront myself" and went on, but was a little "calmer" in my mind so that there weren´t a lot intrusive thoughts afterwards (the less inner force there is, the less the intrusive thoughts come up)... My false memory also came up a few times but I can think a little more rational about it although there were a few doubts if it really happened or not. I occupy a lot with buddhism, meditation, relaxing etc. and also read a few buddhism books about relationships etc. which gave me a little propulsion I guess. My relationship still is broken and I don´t know how it will go on. I think that the forwards and backwards aren´t that good for my ocd but I do the best of this situation... Edited September 9, 2014 by Gloria123 Link to comment
Saffie Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 What would be wrong about finding a 17 year old attractive? They aren't children. Link to comment
Guest Gloria123 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I don´t know if he was 17, maybe 15 or 16, I don´t know....sometimes I don´t know if I am sexually attracted/ think they are pretty but don´t want to confess to it or if it´s a "normal" attraction but am hypersensitive because of ocd Link to comment
Saffie Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 It doesn't matter either way. You can't help what your body finds attractive. A child is generally someone under the age of 12. Who cares if you got aroused to a 15/16 year old? It's not like you are going out and seducing them. Don't analyse just accept the thought is there and live with the uncertainty. Link to comment
Guest Gloria123 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 I had similiar worries with kids and teens under the age of 12...If I didn´t have that fears, I wouldn´t suffer from pedophile ocd I guess Link to comment
Saffie Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 You don't need to label it as OCD or not OCD. That won't help. Don't reassure yourself or it will come up with more questions and the fear will return stronger. Let the thoughts be there, agree with them even, and let them lose their power. Link to comment
Guest Gloria123 Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 The same with the false memories? Link to comment
Saffie Posted September 9, 2014 Share Posted September 9, 2014 Yes definitely. You have to learn to live with uncertainty. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now