I'm a little sad for my friends here

[machiato]

Hi everyone,

As some will know I came here recently to post about my progress, which I am really happy about. However, something is troubling me. I am reading a few posts and am seeing the same questions being asked over and over by the same people. Questions that I recall these people asking over a year ago when I first joined the forum. This really saddens me. I totally understand that OCD will raise these questions in our minds, that is totally understandable. But I am really saddened that my friends here ..... and forgive me please for my directness, still coming back with the same reassurance questions 15 months on. It may still trouble you, and thats outside of our control, but what IS in our control is the ability to put up resistance. As Legend has previously coined: "feel the fear but do it anyway". Of course in a controlled manner, using the ERP ladder, slowly but surely up the ladder, without rushing. I want to encourage you all that there isnt a single person here who cannot beat there OCD. It takes a huge effort, and we all endure a living nightmare to beat it. By giving it everything and not giving up - WE ALL WILL.

Best wishes,

M

[Cub]

Sorry, Mach. I really wish I could be stronger and braver.

[Guest Shannon]

Yes, it's that wall of fear that you have to feel and as you say do it anyway.

[Guest Shannon]

I have also found that not giving into a thought makes your confidence in yourself really increase. You start to rebuild your confidence and start to believe that they are only intrusive thoughts x

[Cub]

It's good advice, yes. (Sorry Mach, that wasn't me saying I wouldn't try, only that I wish I could try harder).

[machiato]

Too right Shannon!

Dear Cubby, you can try harder, and your best IS good enough to do the trick!

[Cub]

Thanks, Mach.

[machiato]

P.s. Near the top of my erp ladder was going to supermarkets. Thats where i used to have serious panic around children in enclosed spaces. My experiences were terrible..... Now, i work in a supermarket and today i served a customer with two young girls who were buying underwear at my till. I served them, handling all the clothing as needed and spoke to the girls. When i started therapy, i couldnt even say the word 'girl'!

We all can beat this horrible animal called ocd. He/she is a pathetic wimp! Just a good liar! And words cant hurt us!

[taurean]

Mach great to post this and show that we can use ERP and succeed.

Our colleagues need that encouragement as the ttherapy can at first be distressing, but once the anxiety starts to fade we turn the corner and start the up phase .

I've separately written about my success with intrusive thoughts on the "signs from the universe" thread.

Hope our two experiences will help people buy into what you must do to get better.

Edited February 1, 2014 by taurean

[machiato]

well spoken Taurean!

[Caramoole]

I'm pleased you've pointed this out Machiato. I have been here for 10 years and as such, have probably read as many posts as anyone can (alongside Ashley) and it saddens me too to see people too afraid to take the steps they must...because by not doing, they remain stuck.

Every day there are posts saying "Can OCD make you.....x, y, z?" When it's clear from reading the forums exactly what OCD can do or make you fear. That's not to trivialise anyone or any question because I also know just how powerful those doubts are.

But there's an awful truth. Reading, learning about, questioning OCD, what it is, what to do, how to move forward isn't enough, it won't work. Unless a sufferer actually draws up that hierarchy and faces it, despite the doubt, despite the distress....there will be no improvement. There isn't anything anyone can read or be reassured by that will make it stop. The only solution is "Doing"...and it's hard...but what's harder is staying stuck in the depths of despair.

I want to be able to support people on their journey towards wellness and freedom, not to help them stay stuck.

In your thread the other day I asked you for your best tip and you answered that "It is all about fear" and that's the bottom line.

Caramoole

[Guest legend]

here here caramoole and mach . spent lots of time myself over the years on here since 05 .

As caramoole often says , it ok talking the talking the talk , but whats important is walking the walk

Ive seen many positives come out of the forums taking that approach , many many times , it certainly does work

Get uncomfortable about getting uncomfortable, was my success to recovery.

Edited February 2, 2014 by legend

[taurean]

I don't have that collective time (yet) on the forum but our mission is summed up by you all - to steer people along the right road to enlightenment and recovery.

I've been steered myself,like Machiato, and like you all want everyone else to benefit too.

Roy

[machiato]

Here here peoples!

[bruces]

I hold those who've beaten this thing in such high regard but i really don't have the strength you guys must have had

[Hal]

i really don't have the strength you guys must have had

I bet you have bruces, don't put yourself down.......we're all on different 'journeys' with all sorts of variables helping or hindering us towards recovery - severity of symptoms, early intervention, access to available support/treatment, issues running alongside like depression, the list goes on.

I'm sure you're stronger than you're giving yourself credit for...............

Hal :original:

[bruces]

There's certain aspects I just can't get past

[Hal]

What sort of things?

[bruces]

I'm a mechanic and I can't get past getting reassurance when tightening up nuts and bolts I think I'm going to have to change my job,sorry I shouldn't be making this thread about me

[machiato]

Bruces, you are WRONG. Totally wrong. You DO have the strength. This is a non-negotiable point for every single sufferer out there. Cant see yourself as having it - yes, understandable to be like that - yes. Have the strength - YES!!!!

Sadly, the disease inhibits our strength to see that, and even more sadly, when we feel that way, we will not get better.

[bruces]

I just wish I felt as positive about things as you do mate I just can't seem to see it

[taurean]

Absolutely Machiato

You and I are fellow human beings who have never met, both struggling with OCD, but who listened to the guidance and advice and implimented it.

With the intrusive thoughts it has taken me a while, but the only additional traits I needed have been:

Acceptance and labelling of thoughts as OCD

Patience

Persistence

I'm not specially clever or mentally strong I can assure everyone.I simply bought into the right therapy and did what I was told to do.

[Guest Tricia]

Sorry, Machiato, but the hard fact is that there are people who can’t overcome OCD. I am not one of those who seeks reassurance. In fact, when taking part in a documentary, last year, I was asked to film my family members offering reassurance. I explained that I don’t ask for it and wouldn’t ‘act’ on film.

However, my fear does not come down. It is not for the want of trying and I have been ‘feeling the fear and doing it anyway’ for most of my life. Now, I am too ill physically to put up the same fight and have therefore decided to accept my OCD and the rituals which lower my anxiety. This was the advice given to me by a psychologist and my GP, as they both decided the level of fear I was experiencing daily was seriously harming my health.

I appreciate that most will respond to therapy and that reassurance, in the main, is counterproductive, but please let's encourage everyone without making those who have a more resistant form of OCD feel as though they are weak and not trying hard enough. I know that is not your intention, but unfortunately I also know, from what many have told me, that to state everyone can beat it does leave those who haven’t feeling thoroughly despondent.

[daisy]

I totally agree with all what you have said Tricia,i am one of the people who hasn't been able to overcome their OCD and i have tried so very hard,and am still trying,as i know you are still facing your fears daily.

I do feel despondent when told that everyone can beat this if they try hard enough,because it just isn't true,i have known of people who have given their all to beat it,but unfortunately they are still very unwell.

[taurean]

Hi Tricia and Daisy

I agree with you.

I think machiato, and certainly I , have the laudable intent of seeking to encourage those that don't buy into acceptance and engage with the therapy, but do have the wherewithall, to be persistent listen to us and do so..