is this pocd (why did i google?:(

[Guest GUYWITHOCD]

I was going threw a time where I posted nude photos online and got in some trouple, I kept reading about what could happen and they kept saying even a minor could be marked as a pedophile (I'm 15 3/4) after that I kept having to tell the truth other than that I felt like i couldn't move on with the situation. A month of this, I said I need to find a new obbession, I googled OCD disorder list found pocd that triggered a memory of when (I was 11 years old I thought I was Fay so performed a 10 second stint of oral sex that I don't know if I did or not on my newborn brother. I felt depressing guilt that I didn't say anything but I was fine it wasn't like a on going thing I had relationships with girls had a normal life, recently 6 months ago I told my mom everything) when I read this I was so obsessed with forgetting what I have done that I ended up even forcing myself to remeber saying things like "did I do that when I was 11 because im pedophile?" This went on now for like 4 weeks, along with weird sexual images that are mentally disturbing involving my now 4 year old brother, weird groinal response along with it. Then I read a sentence that made me think in a bad place, "Once I did it the urge was gone" then ever since then I was hearing whispering voices "Do it again, do it again that's the only way out" then I'm like do what again, there like "Molest your brother, suck his penis" I would here this and almost believe that I had to to the point where I got this heavy warm feeling in my stomach that I thought was a urge to do it but I didn't want to do it but in a way I did to appease the thoughts. these thoughts are disgusting and morally and mentally wrong in my own opinion I don't know where these thoughts came from and I'm scared how could this be as soon as I read that article now I feel like this I was normal! Did I just take "A crash pedophile course" or what, oh by the way,I'm not attracted to children not in any matter I can't even masturbate to the face I like girls (my age and adults so I that's how I know I'm not one but I do sometimes believe in my heart that am I one but that's crazy right? I mean there would have been signs right? (sorry I rambled)

Edited March 26, 2015 by GUYWITHOCD

[Symps07]

Sounds like pretty classic OCD, with the false memories, urges, doubts, etc...

Have you been to see your doctor? If not I would strongly advise that you do & let him know that you believe you have OCD or if you can go straight to see a therapist even better.

In the meantime, seeing as you will get these thoughts anyway, just let them come & don't try & block them, just ride them out & try not to perform any compulsions.

[PolarBear]

Hi GuyWithOCD. Welcome to the forum.

I had the same kinds of thoughts start when I was your age. It was awful. Unfortunately I chose to keep it a big secret and not tell anyone. I wish now I had the courage back then to do something about it. I agree with Symps that if you can get in to see your doctor, do it. You don't have to go into the kind of detail you've written here. All you need to do to start the conversation is, "I think I have OCD. I'm having awful sexual thoughts and I want to do something about them."

Good luck to you. If you need other advice, don't hesitate to ask on the forum.

[Guest GUYWITHOCD]

Sounds like pretty classic OCD, with the false memories, urges, doubts, etc...

Have you been to see your doctor? If not I would strongly advise that you do & let him know that you believe you have OCD or if you can go straight to see a therapist even better.

In the meantime, seeing as you will get these thoughts anyway, just let them come & don't try & block them, just ride them out & try not to perform any compulsions.

Thanks, ill incorporate what you said in my head when I get those weird thoughts their weird and disgusting, they say a pedophile is a person who is soley or exclusively attracted to children I'm not I'm scared by the thoughts but what i have noticed they are focused on my little brother even kids that look or act like him make me think those distressing thoughts, I suffered with OCD since I was 9 from contamination issues, hoarding, door checking, excessive hand washing, now this. Like I said it started by when I read that article. I used to be the best big brother now I feel nervous and scared around him, why is that?

[Symps07]

I'd have to guess that it's because your OCD has chosen to hone in on your thoughts for you little brother. OCD always effects the things that matter to us the most, so if you were religious you'd more than likely get blasphemous thoughts, if you are a parent, then you'd more than likely get thoughts about harming or abusing your children.

On the plus side (well, as plus as you get with OCD), it probably means your the last person who would harm your brother, unfortunetly, the OCD will throw plenty of thoughts, false memories/urges at you. All you can do for now, is ride them out. Seeing a therapist who specialises in treating OCD is the best advice I can give you, & be as honest with them as you have been with us (they'll have heard it all before believe me! :original: )

[Guest GUYWITHOCD]

I'd have to guess that it's because your OCD has chosen to hone in on your thoughts for you little brother. OCD always effects the things that matter to us the most, so if you were religious you'd more than likely get blasphemous thoughts, if you are a parent, then you'd more than likely get thoughts about harming or abusing your children.

On the plus side (well, as plus as you get with OCD), it probably means your the last person who would harm your brother, unfortunetly, the OCD will throw plenty of thoughts, false memories/urges at you. All you can do for now, is ride them out. Seeing a therapist who specialises in treating OCD is the best advice I can give you, & be as honest with them as you have been with us (they'll have heard it all before believe me! :original: )

thank you so much this really helped me, I just have one more question, sometimes I get weird sexual thoughts like this one time I heard on the George Lopez show George say he liked to have sex with angie when she was sick my bro was coughing and I had that thought "sick sex" don't know if it was with him or not it was just a weird thought but when i try to say it's not about its just a stupid thought it's not real don't feel I feel like it's a excuse and it's the truth and self consciously I want to have sex with him but it's crazy a month back I was fine I was the person my parents used to thank for how good I was with him I was like a second dad but now I feel like a pedophile a creep a pervert is it even possible for somebody to just turn into a pedophile in just 5 weeks?

[Symps07]

This is just part of the OCD. It'll make you doubt yourself, question you thoughts & feelings, etc...

Getting little thoughts like 'sick sex', & keep having thinking or saying that, is just another compulsion. Resist performing it.

It probably came because you heard that on the show, & with your brother coughing, your brain probably associated the two things (coughing, cold, ill, sick....) & your OCD lept on it & is now using it against you. Like I say, when you feel the urge to say it, think it, don't, just ignore it.

[Guest GUYWITHOCD]

This is just part of the OCD. It'll make you doubt yourself, question you thoughts & feelings, etc...

Getting little thoughts like 'sick sex', & keep having thinking or saying that, is just another compulsion. Resist performing it.

It probably came because you heard that on the show, & with your brother coughing, your brain probably associated the two things (coughing, cold, ill, sick....) & your OCD lept on it & is now using it against you. Like I say, when you feel the urge to say it, think it, don't, just ignore it.

Thank you also I have another question what does this mean? Last night my mom said my brother was going to sit on the counter and suck/eat his icepop I got aroused and then. I slightly in the back of my mind I seen him suck it the ice pop and stood a bit arousal.like it started getting erect and i got how do I put this "horny"

[Guest GUYWITHOCD]

Thank you also I have another question what does this mean? Last night my mom said my brother was going to sit on the counter and suck/eat his icepop I got aroused and then. I slightly in the back of my mind I seen him suck it the ice pop and stood a bit arousal.like it started getting erect and i got "

[Guest GUYWITHOCD]

Thank you also I have another question what does this mean? Last night my mom said my brother was going to sit on the counter and suck/eat his icepop I got aroused and then. I slightly in the back of my mind I seen him suck it the ice pop and stood a bit arousal.like it started getting erect and i got how do I put this "horny"

but I don't think it had anything to do with my brother cuz when I started thinking about that scenario if it was kids I got all weirded out and a real pedophile would be happy with and got Jack off to the thought I just got weirded out as to who was in the situation and I'm still weirded out. What do you think IM NOT ATTRACTED TO CHILDREN I MASTURBATE TO STRAIGHT AND SOMETIMES BI SEXUAL PORNOGRAPHY IM NOT A PEDOPHILE WHAT DO YOU THINK?

[PolarBear]

I think you're thinking about this too much, one of the symptoms of OCD. You think about it. It bothers you. So you think about it some more and it bothers you some more. See the trap you can get into?

If you're not into kids then don't be into kids. Understand that obsessions (intrusive thoughts) can pop up at any time and make you think there's something wrong but they're caused by OCD and they don't mean anything. The best thing you can do is leave the thoughts alone. Don't think about them. Don't try to figure them out. Just leave them and let them die from apathy.

[Guest GUYWITHOCD]

I think you're thinking about this too much, one of the symptoms of OCD. You think about it. It bothers you. So you think about it some more and it bothers you some more. See the trap you can get into?

If you're not into kids then don't be into kids. Understand that obsessions (intrusive thoughts) can pop up at any time and make you think there's something wrong but they're caused by OCD and they don't mean anything. The best thing you can do is leave the thoughts alone. Don't think about them. Don't try to figure them out. Just leave them and let them die from apathy.

thanks cuz I really am not into kids when I look at them I get somewhat hyperventale but no attraction i chat masturbate I'm stop myself as soon as a intrusive thought comes and I get turned off