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I got better! (Pure OCD)


Guest Nowhereboy

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Guest Nowhereboy

Hey folks!

Some of you may remember me,I hope everyone is doing ok. I've been meaning to post here for quite sometime but I was never sure the time was right up until recently.

I just want to let everyone know that I now class myself as cured!

I remember when I was suffering I'd come on here and think "how come nobody is getting better", I guess people do get better but most of them don't come back here afterwards, I just wanted to share my story and hopefully give a little hope to someone who is suffering with what I did.

I had "pure OCD", I used a lot of drugs in my past and was convinced that had triggered schizophrenia in me. It got to the stage where I couldn't leave the house because I was so anxious, I had all sorts of illogical worries "what if nothing is real?" "what if I'm still dreaming?" "what if I'm stuck in a truman style show?" etc etc. I even developed a thought process that ran alongside my inner voice, almost like a second inner voice that would put me down and question my thoughts, I would sit and talk to myself in my own head to see if I could control the responses I got, I thought I was going to develop voices in my head and started to feel like I was losing control over my thoughts, it was relentless and terrifying, I only ever got peace when I finally fell asleep at the end of the day. At my worst I was almost suicidal, I didn't want to die but I couldn't see an end to the thoughts and I felt trapped in my mind. It's not something I like to talk about, infact I've never told anyone before but I want you guys to understand how bad I was and how much I believed I would never get better.

That was nearly two year ago now and I'm free of these thoughts for 99.9% of the time. I still get the odd strange thought and intrusive phrase in my head but it no longer bothers me. I have a good job, earn decent money and my life is back on track.

I used to spend hours and hours looking for information on schizophrenia and desperately tried to find someone who could relate to what I was going through, I found it really hard and at times I even spoke to schizophrenics because I believed thats what I was developing. I just wanted to post this for anyone going through this right now, it can be fixed, you're not crazy, the feeling will pass and you're not alone!

:D

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Hi Nowhereboy,

Nice to hear from you and great news to hear of your success, well done you :)

What finally made the difference to you? Did you have help, medication, self-help? I'm sure people would love to learn what worked for you.

And Thanks for coming back to share your success story

Caramoole :)

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Guest Nowhereboy

I remember you too legend!! :original:

A few things contributed to my recovery, I finally got CBT therapy after waiting for nearly a year for it, I had already heard everything the therapist had to say from doing a lot of research myself but it still felt good to be able to talk to someone and tell them everything I was feeling as up until that point I had bottled it all up.

I also found that facing my fears and doing things regardless of the anxiety helped too, instead of staying in on my own I would go out with friends even if it made me feel rubbish, 90% of the time I would still be stuck in my own thoughts but every now and again I would get a moment of freedom because of the distractions my friends caused.

The main thing that helped me recover was simple however, living healthy and working out! I found a couple of friends to train with and we would lift weights in the gym together, after a few weeks of this I noticed that while I was in the gym the thoughts had completely vanished. That was when I realised that somewhere deep down I was in control of the thoughts and bringing them on myself. Once I knew this the fear associated with the thoughts was no longer crippling and when they came on they were not as strong and didn't hold any weight like they used too. Eventually the periods of time when I got peace became longer and longer until eventually I would have full days without even thinking about schizophrenia and OCD.

I stopped researching, stopped fighting, stopped posting on these forums, stopped trying to figure it all out and carried on with my life and it brought me to where I am now. It wasn't like I beat my ocd, I didn't even put up a fight, I just kinda forgot about it.

I don't know how conventional my recovery was, or if my story contradicts any theories on recovery etc but thats how it happened!

My post is mainly aimed at the people who suffer from pure O, I know there's very little information on the fear of schizophrenia and even less information on how to overcome it.

My therapist always said pure O is exactly the same as "normal" OCD and while I understand the logic she used behind that I'm still not sure I agree.

Edited by Nowhereboy
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Thanks nowhereboy - I think your story is inspiring, and proves that exposure to the situation, and getting out and into society, is a good course of action, coupled with distraction to take us out of ourselves and refocus.

i also find going down to the gym (in my case with my wife who goes swimming and I go to the weights and aerobic machines) both makes me concentrate on the exrcise regime and enjoying the endorphins - the happiness hormones that kick in when we exercise - and burns off any stress chem,icals from high arousal if I'm anxious..

Thanks for coming back on the forum and telling us your story. Good news encourages us all.

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Guest Nowhereboy

No problem, I might hang around here for a little while now.

I avoided this place at first as I used to worry it might send me back to my old ways etc, I'm well past that stage now tho and don't see any harm in it.

If any mod's can change my status to ex sufferer that would be cool!

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"" I also found that facing my fears and doing things regardless of the anxiety helped too ""

yes and more yesses , exactly how I recovered .

good of you to share your story buddy

well done

legend

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Guest Erik197834

Hi nowhereboy, I am dealing with the same thoughts as you have had. Your thread gives me hope.

I feel like I am trapped in a philosophical hellhole....so your thread gives hope.

Greetings, Erik

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