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Low in confidence and feeling misunderstood


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#1 Emzie

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 07:00 PM

I have read in brain lock that people with OCD often have low confidence, think negitively and put themselves down. I have always been like that and my low self-esteem often makes me feel very shy and makes it so I don't always get out what I want to say and people often get the wrong impression of me because of it.

I can't seem to handle people having a go at me either. People often think I'm not interested in being there friend or if they have a go at me which makes my shyness worse because I'm not talking due to the shyness they think I've fell out with them and am not talking to them when I actually haven't fell out with them over it I just feel to shy and nervous to say anything.

And when I say have a go I mean the sort of thing where most people wouldn't let it bother them and the person would still be their normal friendly self towards the person having a go afterwards, like at work if it gets busy and stressful the person might get stressed and have a go at you about something but not really mean it it's just because there stressed kind of thing.

Because people are thinking these things of me it is making me feel misunderstood and down. I do want to make friends and be able to relax and be myself in front of other people but my low confidence and shyness stops me. Plus I sometimes feel anxious when talking to people.

When people get the wrong impression of me because of it I often put myself down and think I'm a bad person because of it too

Does anyone else get this and feel misunderstood because of this?

Do you think its related to OCD?

Sometimes I don't understand why I'm like it and keep trying to figure out why. Why do I struggle with my confidence so much, at 27 you'd think I'd be able to handle being told off so I don't get it.

Sorry for going on so much but feel really down about it at the moment and felt like getting it off my chest. Also I've just had another binge eating session, as I compulsively over eat so I'm feeling really low about myself right now.

#2 Nik

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 07:13 PM

Hi Emzie,

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time at the moment.

When people get the wrong impression of me because of it I often put myself down and think I'm a bad person because of it too


I think this is really common with many OCD sufferers so you're not alone. I find it really difficult when people get the wrong impression of me because of my OCD. I've only recently found out that I have OCD so for many years I really thought that I was all this things which people have labelled me as. I think it is very difficult because if someone doesn't know exactly what you're going through then many people are too quick to judge which is a shame. I think you know what sort of person you are so try and not let what other people say bother you too much, easier said than done I know! You just need to keep reminding yourself of who you really are, maybe writing down all the postive and good qualities that you have will help you with that. Refer to that list when you do feel down so you can fill your head with positive thoughts instead of those negative thoughts which will just serve to upset you.

Do you have any close friends or family you can talk too?

Edited by Nik, 30 June 2012 - 07:14 PM.


#3 Emzie

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 09:34 PM

Hi Nik,

Thanks for your reply.

I'm sorry that people misjudge you too, it is hard. Sadley I think it's human nature for people to jump to conclusions.

If I've learnt anything its that things aren't always as they seem, for example what people assume is someone not wanting to talk to them is actually that that person is struggling with their confidence and is shy and maybe suffering from something like OCD or anyother illness could affect them in that way.

Writting all the positive things about me down and keep reading them when I'm putting myself down sounds like a good idea, I'll try it. Has it helped you before?

Sorry your going through a rough time too.

Thanks for your advice, it's greatly appreciated.

Its nice to talk to someone who understands.

Thanks again.

Emzie.

#4 Nik

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Posted 30 June 2012 - 09:45 PM

Hey!

That's not a problem. A lot of people consider me lazy because when I'm stuck in an OCD cycle I just can't seem to do anything!

Nowadays I try not to worry about what people think because my true friends and family know exactly what I'm like and that's all that matters really. I read a really good quote the other day which said 'Don't worry about what other people think as it's none of your business!'.

I had a friend who wrote down all her positive qualities as she really lacked self-confidence and it really helped her so maybe it can help you too!

#5 Emzie

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 11:26 AM

Thats a good quote, I like it.

When you get stuck in an OCD cycle it is hard to concentrate on anything else and if you try something always pulls you back into it. I particularly find this happens when something keeps playing over and over in my head that makes me obsess about it or ruminate because it's about something thats happened at work. I try to think about something else but I still keep coming back to the same thought and it keeps playing over and over again in a continous loop driving me crazy so that I can't concentrate on anything else. When you are feeling anxious you can't relax either and that makes it hard to concentrate on doing things too. I can see how it would appear that your lazy to people who don't know what you are going through but I know its not the case. It gets very annoying and frustrating when people jump to those wrong conclusions, doesn't it?

Also I seem to go through spells on and off where I feel really low, I don't know if it is depression or not but when I go through it I feel extremely tired and feel like all the energy has been zapped out of me and even doing a simple movement like lifting my arm up feels like a struggle. People often say I seem like I'm not with it when I get like this and I just feel like sitting at home doing nothing because I feel like I don't have the energy to do anything when I get like that too, though I do still force myself to go to work even though it feels like a big struggle. I feel like locking myself away and crying when I get like that too. I do have a problem with my hormones due to me being over weight because of the compulsive over-eating though aswell that I think sometimes affects my moods so I'm not sure if it is that that makes me feel that way or depression caused by OCD.

I do have a supportive family though, my hubby as an illness that makes people get the wrong impression of him too so he understands and is brilliant and I always do my best to support him too. I hate it when he suffers because of it though and that often makes me feel down too, seeing someone you love suffering is really hard so I can appreciate how hard it must be for my family with me too. At least my family understand me though so I will try and think about that next time someone gets the wrong impression of me. Glad your family and friends understand you and support you too, it can be really tough at times but I guess you have to force yourself to carry on as hard as that is.

Thanks for your advice and support and for listening. I really appreciate it.

Edited by Emzie, 01 July 2012 - 11:28 AM.


#6 Nik

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 02:59 PM

When you get stuck in an OCD cycle it is hard to concentrate on anything else and if you try something always pulls you back into it


I completely agree here. I'm stuck in an OCD cycle at the moment and however much I try I just can't seem to move on from it! I was fine towards the end of May but since then I have been trapped, or at least that is what it feels like. The only silver lining is that this particular episode made me seek help and those close to me can finally understand why I may appear the way I do sometimes. However, when it comes to people who don't know they still make those assumptions and I guess that is frustrating but I try and battle on.

Also I seem to go through spells on and off where I feel really low, I don't know if it is depression or not but when I go through it I feel extremely tired and feel like all the energy has been zapped out of me


I'm also like that. Over the last few weeks I have been up and down. Sometimes I get a brief respite from the constant rumination and I actually feel optimistic and happy but then the very next day it is back again which is so frustrating. OCD is such a horrible illness. I think it's good that you continue to go to work as that will mean that you have a routine and wont be stuck at home all day which is not helpful. If you do feel really low though then I would recommend that you go see your GP, maybe he can give you more advise or even some medication.

It's good that you have a supportive family, that is really important and at least you can talk to them when you are in a OCD cycle. I haven't told too many people but those I have told have been really supportive.

Your post described exactly how I am feeling these days so it is good to know that I'm not the only one out there going through all this so thank you for sharing.

#7 Emzie

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 07:03 PM

It's ok. I'm glad I've helped you.

Thanks for sharing too because it helps me to know I'm not alone too.

Feel free to PM me if you feel the need to talk.

#8 Nik

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Posted 01 July 2012 - 07:39 PM

Thanks Emzie, I think we can all help each other on here. Feel free to PM me too if you ever need too.



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