my story... (Deep Breath)
Posted 17 July 2012 - 08:25 AM
I spent every waking minute worrying about my appearance, especially my hair and how my clothes look. I take ANY oportunity to look in the mirror.
I decided to tell my long term partner about it last weekend, somehow i have been able to hide it from her for so long but she was starting to get a bit annoyed with my constant need for reassurance.
This week has probably bee the worst week in years, as far as BDD goes. Maybe it because its out in the open now, i dont know. I found a support group which i will attend, but its only once per month.
Today.... Not a good day. I struggled to get out of the house. I spent so long in the bathroom i went without breakfast and missed 2 trains... again! I lie in bed each night dreading the morning pre-work ritual. If i am going out of an evening i have a real nighmare!!
I went to visit a friend last night.. the first thing he said to me when i walked in the door was... "Whats going on with your barnet, mate?"....well... i just wanted to run away (In fact i actually did that half hour later, making some excuses about not feeling well)
Every day i find myself looking at other people and comparing them. Im jealous of everyone and angry with absolutely everything life throws at me. My job is in jeopardy because i cant focus or concentrate on anything, and therefore i dont get any work done.
All i want to do is hide in the corner and cry.
Thanks for listening
Posted 17 July 2012 - 05:39 PM
What I did wonder though was whether you have tried to find any treatment. CBT I understand is the main treatment for BDD, the same as OCD. You mention a support group, which is great and may be if you go along they can help you find the right treatment too.
The sad thing is Im sure your mate meant absolutely nothing by it, its the sort of thing people say every day to each other, its the BDD which made it something it wasnt.
Do they know anything about your problems at work?
Posted 18 July 2012 - 08:35 AM
Thanks for your comments.
I spoke with my GP yesterday and she will hopefully refer me for an assessment at Maudsley hospital in London.
The support group is this coming Sunday and im really nervous, im not really ready to openly discuss my BDD yet but im hoping i will get the courage once im there.
The frind who made the comment has absolutely no idea about my BDD and i totally understand it was not meant as a viscious comment.
As for work... they have no idea, but getting out of the house in the morning is fast becoming a real problem.
What is you history/background Carol? if you dont mind me asking
Posted 18 July 2012 - 12:21 PM
Posted 18 July 2012 - 01:35 PM
I really appreciate you taking the time to respond to my post.
I too cant see a way out, but i feel very proud of myself for taking the first step to getting help, even though im not comfortable talking about it in person yet. I have promised myself i will fight the fight... i owe it to myself.
This site is the first contact i have had with other BDD/OCD sufferers, and its nice to know there are people that understand.
Good luck to you too, fella....