New obsession and really taken aback

[Lemon]

I have a new obsession that I have never had before, its a worry about having schizophrenia, going crazy and doing something bad and its really stressing me out, I feel really panicy all of the time don't know where to put myself, my anxiety's through the roof, I don't know if Im having a relapse or whats going on, Im thinking Im seeing things when Im not, then checking if I did or not, hearing things, then trying to check if I heard it or not. I feel Im not safe to be left alone with my son. I haven't felt this bad for ages.

Things have been really stressful the last couple of months, my husbands cancer has come back and I just don't know if I can cope anymore, don't know if I can keep on with this anymore.

[PolarBear]

The stress is likely the trigger or at least didn't help the situation.

Fear of having a different mental disorder is a documented ocd obsession. The checking and ruminating are the compulsions.

Take a breath. It's ocd. It is important you begin to curb your compulsions with an eye to eliminating them. Let the obsessions come, hang around and dissipate.

It is also important that you take care of yourself. You must. A walk alone, a girls night out, a tub soak with candles. You need to re-energize and relax given the challenging situation you are in.

[Guest Gooner]

Hi Lemon - I've had the same obsession on and off for years. I've imagined that I have all the symptoms of schizophrenia plus every other psychological disorder that I've ever heard of. Over and over again. I've been convinced I've got it, but none of the evidence stacks up. It's my OCD going for the thing that I fear.

Best wishes

[Guest chitownkid]

OCD loves to cherry pick things that we do NOT want and that are not part of our values. Its picking schitzo because you fear that. Its giving you thoughts about your kids because you don't want that.

Surrendering compulsions is a bitch, try to sit without engaging in one. It sucks, but remember compulsions and rituals do NOT work and only create more questions than answers which leads to an endless path of terror.

[Guest Jamesp]

Hi lemon sorry to hear you are having a tough time.

I too had real real horrendous fears I was a psychopath and potential killer. And also the fear I had lost control and was schizophrenic.

It's so scary and difficult to deal with but there's 3 people here already who have had the same ocd fear. So you know that it is ocd and that you can tackle the obsessions thrown at you .

I wish you lots of luck and sending you love here

[Lemon]

I just feel so fed up of it, thank you jamesp, chitownkid, Gooner and polarbear its such a horrible illness to have.