OB1

you are giving yourself a hard time OB1, you can't be everything to everyone. I am sorry that people are not as willing to zoom like the first lockdown. 

could you ask your neighbour if she wants a doorstep drink? maybe she is wondering if you want to do that this time round - you could always ask?

I have a habit of doing that and find it hard not to @Avo I never used to be aware of it but am trying to get better at not giving myself a tough time and try to practice self compassion.

I've messaged my neighbour a fair bit asking her so it's not a case of not asking.

I've sent a message to a friend so will see if he wants to go for a walk.  He prefers his own company so will see. 

I find most men I know are quite solitary people, they have a partner but otherwise don't seem bothered about a huge amount of interaction.  This feeds into my own insecurities about being different I think.  I also grew up with close male friendships and perhaps that was unusual, not sure. 

I'm going to do some DIY for now, feeling a bit more up beat.    

I grew up with close male friendships - didn't have any female friends in our group on a plutonic basis. I have never really had female friends if that makes sense - relationships yes but  friends no it wasn't deliberate as such but just developed that way. I think I maybe could have benefitted from female friendship. I think these days its maybe a bit different and males and females mix in the same friendship groups.