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Bulletin Board User
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About fayeray

  • Birthday 19/05/1981

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    Germs, contamination, illnesses

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  • Interests
    Music, making new friends and helping others.

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82 profile views
  1. That scared, dread feeling unfortunately is going to be there, i also take the easy way out a lot of the time but know it only makes things worse. I waited CBT for 15 months and i felt so alone, now i go to a support group, one thing i try to do that i have learnt is stay in the now, focus on right now, not the past or what could happen, its true we OCD sufferers live too much in the, what might happen. This is so tough, and such a cruel condition cus noone knows how disabling is can feel. Please stop giving yourself a hard time because you re doing well and i like you focus on my little one to make me stronger, i try so hard for him, you know what though when your tired, everything magnifies.. If you are too tired dont give yourself a hardtime, think im tired right now and i will try again, you havent failed. Xx
  2. It has a strain on most relationships, my hubby is great but he gets really fed up with me, must be so hard for them to. My OCD developed through pregnancy so i get how awful you feel, when your tired and emotional and you feel alone, so hard to explain, isnt it? So i really know how fab your doing. The anxiety is there all the time, you have to feel that to get better.. But gosh its hard, i have some fab days but equally have awful days.. Try and feel the fear but do it anyway and believe me, i know how hard it is but i feel great knowing that i did it and we are all fit and well and nothing awful happened to any of us.
  3. Its hard work isnt it, especially with little ones, its that belief thats the hardest, you believe those things really will happen. You are doing great. Im ok thanks
  4. Hi Joanne, have not been on in ages, congratulations on the birth of your daughter, that flew by. Hope your feeling ok x
  5. Yes I might have to say something on them lines, I think it will send me over the edge fitting them all in for hours, as long as he gets to see them all to receive his gifts that will have to be enough this year, hopefully I will be lots better with treatment next year and make up for it. x
  6. Thanks very much for your time replying, you are right he wont understand and he will have a lovely day whatever. Just hope that it isnt too stressful and I cant cope with it all.. as I don't have a choice they are his family and have gifts so I have to fit them all in, I just wish I could say 30 mins each. Thanks.
  7. Thankyou Carol, thats made me feel a bit better about it, I guess you are right... he wont remember it. Daddy is ok to do whatever im comfy with, its the pressures of everyone else, phone calls and texts asking about his birthday wanting to see him and I just want to please everyone and its getting all too much for me. I do like the idea of the park, I just need a plan B if the weather is bad. I just want it over and done with, is that awful to say? I am happy setting myself small changes and have been doing quite well but this seems like the hardest challenge ever. x
  8. Thanks for your reply. Its so hard isnt it? Was thinking a park as its outside and not an enclosed space but thats weather permitted and not sure everyone meeting all at once is a good idea. Im just dreading it, i feel so awful and feel guilty x
  9. Hi Guys, Im really stressed out, ideas would be really appreciated, My OCD is severe and im struggling with what to do for his birthday, family and friends dont quite understand this massive challange im faced with, I have to fit in 14 people fit in seeing my son over the weekend. I have contimination OCD. I have being setting myself small challanges but this is huge, im really anxious and upset about it. I know its his birthday but this feels way too much for me, I feel I cant be honest with people to the extent of how bad I am feeling with the OCD.. I cant go into pubs or have lots of people in my house, I know exposure is good but all at once... im dreading it. How will I cope, I not good with any social sitautions atm.
  10. fayeray

    Feel im getting no where

    I am like that FF.. food im a nightmare with. My hands are like im 80. Yeh, looking forward to trying CBT now, just hope it isnt too long. Do you ever fear them things now, or you completley OCD free? :-)
  11. fayeray

    i am scared now

    Hey Joanne, How you feeling now? Could be your hormones too, that can make you feel down at times, it did when I was pregnant. I had a bad week last week but now feeling a little better, sure it will pass... keep up the good work, even peeps without OCD have bad low days. x
  12. fayeray

    Feel im getting no where

    Its rubbish isnt it? I am on the long waiting list for CBT
  13. fayeray

    Feel im getting no where

    Thanks for all for you your replys, good idea FF with the small goals, I beat myself up about it loads, feel Im not getting anywhere and feels like I have been waiting for therapy for ages, I know it does take a while, but when you are suffering just feels like a life time. Lucy S thats exactly what I am like, if I even touch my phone, Im thinking where have I been with it etc, what if somebody touched the door and then, like you said cross contaminated... its awful and I get so angry with myself, but if I dont was them, its like torture, but giving yourself a limit sounds good, will try that. Thanks Jen, the scoring also a good idea. Thanks Joanne, you are right I did do well, as it is really hard for me. Feel so lonely and trying to explain to family and my husband is so hard, what you mentally have to go through every day is torture. :-(
  14. Hi guys, Just after a bit of help please. I feel like im not getting anywhere, just when I feel like im making improvements, I feeling like im back to square one. Yesterday was my worse day.. I got home from my parents and I cried, nothing was clean enough for me, I must have washed my hands 100 times, plus puttinh hadgel on. I cant resist from doing it. My mom was cooking meat, I got paranoid she has touched everywhere with her contimated hands, had to keep cleaning my sons hands too, she has a dog who I worry about touching my boy, I hate putting him on the floor.. yesterday I set myself two challenges and suceeded them but I felt worse then ever yesterday, so I thought you felt better if you faced your fears? I feel exhausted today but still took my son out and also feel bad today also. I dont know how to help myself till I have CBT.. can anyone suggest anything, my head hurts so much.