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Everything posted by Hockey30

  1. This is a link to a chilled instrumental dj that sadly past away a few years back. All of his stuff is really mellow and relaxing. Give it a listen if you have a few minutes free. This one is my favourite of his. Cheers
  2. Hi Christian002. I am on Sertraline (150mg) and what I will tell you is the side effects you are experiencing are completely normal, I have had all of them. The tiredness and yawning was very bad to begin with. I also lost my appetite and felt like I was on edge constantly for a few weeks. It will settle down once you are on a specific dosage for a while. I cant speak for the sexual side effects as mine seem fine, but I have heard that it can be quite a problem, especially for women. It can be a long term and a short term med depending on what progress you are making. If it gets to a point where you believe you have a complete handle on your OCD then you could look towards coming off them. However, some people find that there OCD symptons can only be kept in check with the aid of medication. Either way, there is no shame in taking medication at all!
  3. Hi everyone, I'm struggling a bit at the moment to be honest. I had my dosage of sertraline upped to 150mg on friday, so it might be a temporary side effect of that, but I just feel like my mind is racing. Words, phrases, sentences in my head are just uncontrollable. I started obsessing because I dont "what if" anymore, which is ridiculous. Most people are plagued by the "what ifs" but mine is almost like opposite thinking, which then turns into a full blown argument with myself ending with me wanting to pull my hair out. For instance, I will have the thought that I love my girlfriend, and then my mind will say "you hate your girlfriend" or "no you dont". Or I will see an attractive woman in the street and I will think to myself "wow shes hot" and then my mind will reply instantly with "no she isnt you dont like women". Every thought I have at the moment is countered with the opposite and its driving me insane. The mental chatter has completely taken over and I dont know how to turn it down. I find relabelling futile at the moment as I will relabel a thought as OCD and my mind will immediately tell me it isnt. The anxiety and heart palpitations aren't as bad anymore, probably because of the meds. It is more just extremely infuriating and upsetting. Has anyone been through this kind of phase with their OCD? Where, rather than your mind questioning the thought, it replies with the opposite. I am hoping that this is down to side effects of the meds being increased. Many thanks
  4. Okay well thats good news Lostie. There is always a fear when going to the doctors that they will react badly or not the way you would like them to react when you tell them what is going on. Alot of the time people come away from an appointment feeling even more worried because the GP may have asked some questions that feel intrusive/strange etc. Generally, though, I believe that this is because mental health and OCD in particular is still relatively new ground, and I think that doctors are still learning about this year on year. Step in the right direction though, the Lexapro should help take the edge off the anxiety.
  5. How did you deal with it last time nettles? You mention that you were pretty much OCD free for 3 years... that tells me that you have been strong enough to get through this once, so you can definitely do it again.
  6. Oooops, I replied at the same time as nettles. I pretty much echo what she says, and well done on doing so well at Uni despite suffering with OCD.
  7. Hi SuchFun and welcome to the forum, What you have described is classic OCD. The inner dialogue feels like it is out of control and makes you doubt everything you thought you believed. No matter how much you tell yourself something about yourself, sure enough, the other internal voice will tell you different. I had the same sort of thing at Uni where, despite maintaining high grades, I would still convince myself at times that I was going to fail. You aren't going crazy, you are just paying too much attention to the intrusive thoughts. What you now have to work on is accepting that the thoughts are there and not arguing with them, as that simply fuels the fire. The meds should help with the anxiety and will probably take the edge off of the racing thoughts. Have you looked into CBT? Or getting a few recommended self help CBT books? This will help you to understand what is going on and to help you rationalize your thoughts. What you have to try and realize is your thoughts are not you, they are just meaningless fireings of the brain. Some of them are positive and some negative, but when anxiety sets in the negatives always drown out the positives. Distraction is a very good coping mechanism too. The less time sat around thinking about your thoughts the better. Don't give the intrusive thoughts the time of day, and gradually they will become less of a problem over time. Everyone on here has great advice that will be extremely valid to you and what you are going through, so don't hesitate to ask!
  8. I have also realized that I salivate more when I think about the fact I am salivating (confusing), which leads me to believe that it is another one of those OCD things where the more you think about it and the more consciously aware you are of it, the more it bothers you.
  9. Hi guys, I was just wondering if anyone has had any experience with problems with lip biting and nail picking? For as far back as I can remember I have always bitten my bottom lip and the inside of my cheek, to the point in which it sometimes bleeds. Ive also had problems with biting my nails and the skin down the side of my nails (sorry if that makes people a bit squeamish). I'm not sure if this is an OCD thing or just a bad habit. Sometimes when I feel little bumps in the skin on the inside of my bottom lip I feel like I have to bite it until it feels smooth again. I've also had issues sometimes with blinking, where I will get really bothered by how much I blink and if I feel that my eyes have watered a little bit then I will blink a lot to try and get rid of the feeling. At the moment I am also getting pretty frustrated with salivating, as I feel that I sometimes salivate more than usual, especially when I have an intrusive thought... which then leads me to worry about why I salivate after an intrusive thought, which then causes some anxiety. Any advice from previous experience would be really appreciated!
  10. Hi ocdlfc, What you have described is pretty much intrusive thoughts in a nutshell. Fear of being Schizophrenic is also a very common theme in OCD. I have had this underlying fear for a couple of months. All I would put it down to is the fact you are now very much aware of the inner chatter that is going on in your mind, whilst before it was just background noise. The OCD has caused you to turn up the volume on the thoughts. As you said that the voice is your voice I would think that this is just OCD at play, although if you are really worried I would suggest going to see your local GP. Hope this helps!
  11. Well it is very hard to make progress with OCD if you are in the grips of depression. Meds are not to everyones taste, as some people decide to fight it without the help of medication. Personally I have found that it removed alot of the anxiety and depression I was feeling, and so I have been able to deal with the intrusive thoughts alot easier. Maybe talk to your GP about it?
  12. Hi guys, hooe you all had a nice christmas. This may be a bit of a silly question, but I have ran out of Sertraline without realizing and I was wondering if anyone knew whether I would be safe in taking 2 lots of 50mg to equal a 100mg? I was on 50 a couple of months back and so I have some left. I am now on 100mg. I would go down to the pharmacy to stock up but I am pretty sure it ia closed today. Any advice would be great. Cheers
  13. Hi dpatrice... hope you arent feeling too stressed about this weekend. It's just a shot in the dark here, but do you not think that having the knife in your dresser could be a cause for some of your anxiety? I know that it can be seen as a form of exposure, but if it is there the whole time then maybe it is actually causing your progress some damage, as you start to worry about how easy it would be for you to use it. I think that you might be jumping in at the deep end, so to speak, with your exposure and you have gone from A to Z straight away, rather than gradually building up your exposure exercises. Personally, if I was dealing with the same intrusive thoughts as you I probably wouldnt have the knife there the whole time. Rather, I would start with little things like writing down words or phrases on a piece of paper and carrying it around with you to occasionally look at, so you gradually build up your anxiety. I also think that doing things like holding a knife in your hands to prove you wouldn't do it could also be damaging as well, as it is a form of checking behavior. It wouldn't lead to you gaining clarity on whether or not you would do it because your mind will always work a way around it, by going like this, "see, I have held the knife and not done it." But then when you put it down and walk away your mind will probably end up saying, "But what if you are capable of it, and what if it happens next time you hold the knife?" I have read a couple of your previous posts and it seems to me that you already have a very good understanding of how intrusive thoughts can manifest themselves and how to deal with them, so I guess all that needs to be said is to try and accept the thoughts. Try to not engage in an argument with your OCD and accept that the thoughts are there and may well always be there, as that is the uncertainty you have to accept. I also completely understand what you mean about the guilt taking away any enjoyment you could have with your boyfriend. I would suggest planning loads of things to do when you are with him so you barely have any time to ruminate over all your intrusive thoughts. When an anxious mind isn't preoccupied by real and valid thoughts it soon starts moving towards the irrational. I'm sure you will have a great time with your boyfriend. And even if you don't and the thoughts come thick and fast, it doesn't mean you arent making any progress. The fact that you are even spending the weekend on your own with him and you aren't avoiding it shows you are heading in the right direction. Oh and great comparison to Chicken Run by the way thezone! Although I am now starting to crave chicken pie... dammit.
  14. Merry christmas everyone, and thank you so much for this incredible charity. All the best! x
  15. Hope you have a great time Tigershark. I am off to Australia in February for a year. Can't wait, but I am a little nervous about my OCD spoiling it for me. Just got to take each day as it comes and try and make the most of it!
  16. Yep, mornings are always the hardest part of the day I find, as that is when you are tired, thirsty and lacking energy, and so the OCD has a field day. To be honest I found that the best thing to do is just to get out of bed as soon as you get up and go straight to the shower. That way you will be instantly waking yourself up. Don't give yourself time to think. Also, maybe give yourself 15/20 minutes to do some breathing exercises and mindfulness meditation. That can help quite alot with a racing mind. In general I find that the best thing to do in the morning is just to get up and go, before you know it you will be at work and the OCD will take a back seat for the day. Eating healthy and exercise are also extremely beneficial.
  17. Hi Robbie! You sound like an extremely strong and down to earth guy, and I am very sorry to hear about the things you have had to go through recently and in the last few years. Try not to worry too much about feeling numb. As FF said, many people have delayed reactions to certain situations, and I think one of the reasons you feel this way might be because you are paying alot of attention to your emotions. My grandad is currently in hospital and the realization has hit that he probably wont go home as he dementia has become to unmanageable. I became extremely worried about my lack of emotion about this, and I even felt like I was trying to force myself to cry. I love my grandad to bits and seeing him in the situation he is in is extremely upsetting. The other day I was sat with my mum and I just started to cry about it, and I think it was because I wasn't paying any attention to the way I was feeling about it, it just happened. I've come to realize that OCD can shift you from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other. You can either feel completely overcome with emotion, or you can feel completely emotionless, and I think it is because of the way we continuously analyze every event and sensation if that makes any sense? Also, the medication might be having a slight dampening effect on you. I am on Sertraline and I feel that this might be a reason for me feeling void of emotion sometimes. It sounds like you have a great relationship with your girlfriend and I am sure it wont be affected by the things you are feeling. Just remember that the OCD tries to convince you that your worst fears will come true, don't give it the time of day to do this! Just remember to keep relabelling the thoughts as OCD and I am sure you will pull through like you did before.
  18. "When we reach our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change" These are words that I have held close for a while now, and I think if their is a place where it is most valid then it is here.
  19. Are you taking anything for the anxiety? You need to try and get the anxiety under control again and then you will be able to address the OCD in a more logical way. I hope things get better for you this afternoon!
  20. Evening Sarah! You are always so good at replying to everyone, just thought I would ask how you are getting on? I have also been given a diagnoses very similar to yours. My GP said I suffer from general anxiety disorder as well as "reactionary depression" and intrusive and obsessive thoughts....sounds pretty much like OCD to me! Ha, but I am not so bothered about getting an official diagnoses as I know deep down what it is, Ive been dealing with it long enough. Its a weird one really because I get on really well with my therapist, but I kind of know that she isnt completely clued up on OCD. But she is well aware of ERP and managing thought patterns etc. Do you still receive CBT?
  21. I find they help quite alot. They seem to give me more energy and I find I am able to concentrate more.
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