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Bulletin Board User
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About Transcendental

  • Birthday 23/05/1993

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    Intrusive thoughts

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  1. but i just feel so terrible and that this person will be affected for their life i think I'm overreacting
  2. this has happened twice now. i called a girl something when i was drunk that was moderately offensive but in a non-offensive context. i apologised a few hours later but she didn't even know i said it. i feel so terrible and i can't sleep. sound like OCD? i feel extremely guilty and the urge to apologise again and again is great
  3. hey everyone thanks for the support. i was having a bad time when i wrote this, i feel better now, but will get help soon.
  4. i can't look at a photo of myself anymore. i hate how fat i look, i want to be more muscular, i want a better face, i want a smaller waist bones, i can't take it. i spend a lot of the day staring into reflective surfaces or mirrors and i have an all consuming obsession with how i look. i am considering surgery/ steroids
  5. Hey everyone. I'm a long time OCD sufferer, recent BDD sufferer, and have posted on these forums about OCD before. I'm pretty certain I have BDD: -I check in reflective surfaces and mirrors 20+ times a day -I increasingly avoid social situations and public areas -I think about my 'defect' extremely often and have considered surgery My BDD object of obsession sometimes changes, but the main one is my shoulder/waist ratio, and developed after I got an interested in bodybuilding. My waist and hips are quite big for a guy, and I can just about fit into 34 trousers but often have to wear 36. I am quite lean and my waist is big from the bone structure, not any fat. My shoulder width is average and they aren't too broad so I don't have that V shape which I read is desirable. I am extremely conscious about what clothes I wear, and normally have to pull my shoulders back to make them look wider, and adopt other postures. I know this is probably genetic because my dad and his family have large waists but I ruminate most of the day about this problem and I am getting so depressed about it because there isn't much I can do. I also have social anxiety and hypochondria so I am also worrying it is due to some medical problem... if there is anyone out there that can help I would be very grateful
  6. I think this is a new obsession. With OCD sometimes it feels like I will go mad, because of the intrusive thoughts, then I think I'm delusional and I will develop psychosis. Someone please help
  7. Yes it is just distressing thinking/behavioural patterns which can be changed, with the right effort and time.
  8. If I could help you I would...the latest form my OCD has taken is HOCD and it has been probably the worst I've had. 24/7 torment, I've had it for about a month, maybe a bit longer. Sometimes I think why me. I've only ever been interested in girls, had fantasies about them etc etc.
  9. I see OCD as fundamentally a misguided relationship between us and our thoughts. You can call it an illness if you like, but I think this is what it is. Although it may have basis in the brain, I am very wary of psychiatrists. They seem to give out the same sort of medications for all kinds of conditions and it doesn't seem specific at all. Prozac made my wellbeing much worse while CBT made me a lot better. I am not too sure whether the increasing medicalisation of mental health is a good thing.
  10. Yeah I suppose it is not the end of the world, but being a neurotic person I like to be obsessed with certain standards. I will go and see my academic advisor next week to tell her about my OCD...just hope she understands
  11. Even if I get a first in all my other exams, it is still unlikely I will get a first overall, that's what I'm really annoyed about
  12. Haha nice idea Good advice Lotus, that's the best we can do isn't it? I may tell my tutor about it....not sure if they will take me seriously The trouble is I have never settled in here, I don't have many friends because of social anxiety and living on my own makes it worse. But I'll keep trying
  13. Thanks for the reply. I think it is because pure O is much less tangible, the mind seems to contort itself to make the thing remain fearful, or find a counterexample against you when you find some relief.
  14. I'm so sick of this I've had it for years. Got CBT to treat my cleanliness OCD which has gone away but had pure O for much longer and I think it will be harder to beat. My exams in January suffered because of anxiety affecting my concentration last term and I'm not sure if there is much point getting a degree if I'm going to do badly. The area it most affects is independent study, however I do go to lectures and seminars. My parents know I have OCD, but I don't think they fully understand how much it affects me. I've spoken to my academic advisor, although not about OCD, but I'm not sure if there is much that can be done. But thanks for the advice and support, I will finish this term at least.
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