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dksea

OCD-UK Member
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About dksea

  • Birthday 11/08/1980

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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Tokyo, Japan

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  1. @Phil19 I am sorry you continue to suffer, but there aren't any more "tips" that can change things. The answer is the same as its been before. If you want to get over this you need CBT (and possibly medication).
  2. Some fun facts about blood 💉 India (39.93%), Pakistan (37.97%), and Bangladesh (35.54%) are the only countries in the world where the B blood type is the most common. Bangladesh (17.49%), North Korea (11.35%), and South Korea (11.00%) are the only countries where greater than 10% of the population have type AB. Japan is an honorable mention with 9.95%. So close! 85.5% of the population of Chile are O+, by far the highest concentration of one type in any country. Meanwhile the rarest blood type, AB- is rarest of all in Zimbabwe, only 0.01% of the population have this scarce blood type. A red blood cell is about 7 microns in size. A micron is 1 millionth of a meter. So you'd need to line up 142,857 red blood cells to equal 1 meter. The blood of the horseshoe crab (which is not actually a crab) is blue! The reason is that their blood uses a protein called hemocyanin, which contains copper, rather than the more common hemoglobin, which contains iron, to transport oxygen. Blood makes up about 7~8% of your body weight. Australian James Harrison holds the record for most blood donations in the world at 1173 times. He has a rare (perhaps unique) blood plasma composition that can be used to treat Rhesus Disease, a disease that can develop due to blood type mismatches between mothers and babies. His donations are estimated to have saved over 2.4 million babies from the effects of this disease.
  3. The degree to which you are comfortable separating the art from the artist is a choice for you to make. There is no one right answer. Lots of factors can contribute such as the reason you dislike the artist/creator, the work itself and what is involved with making it, how you consume the art and any financial transactions involved, etc. However none of that is really a involved here because the issue isn’t the actual behavior of the artist, but your anxiety related to imaginary scenarios and a sense of things being “tainted”. Your issue is OCD. If the reason you don’t consume a particular piece of art (be it music, video game, etc) is because it doesn’t interest you or you don’t find it enjoyable in some way, ok fine, no big deal. Not consuming it won’t have a negative impact. On the other hand, if the reason you don’t consume it, despite wanting to, is due to anxiety and worry, then you are probably better off challenging that anxiety. Not consuming the media will probably not make your life better, it will only make the anxiety worse.
  4. I wonder how much more often they get accidental dials compared to services in other countries which don't use the same digit 3 times (911 in the US, 119 here in Japan, etc.). At lot easier for a kid to accidentally dial the same digit multiple times
  5. Cleopatra (51 BC - 30 BC) lived closer to today than when the Great Pyramid of Giza was built (2580 BC ~ 2560 BC) Speaking of the pyramids, wooly mammoths were still around (though not in Egypt) when the pyramids were built, they didn't go extinct until as late as 1650 B.C. You can travel from Norway to North Korea passing through only one foreign country, Russia. I wouldn't recommend it though! The name for this symbol # is octothorp The name for the plastic bit at the ends of shoelaces is aglet One more name related fact, the longest place name in the US is Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg in Massachusetts. Thats 46 letters long. November 1, 2000 was the last day every human being alive was on earth. Since November 2, 2000 there has always been someone on board the International Space Station.
  6. I can guarantee you there are people in the world who feel this way, some with OCD, some without. OCD can make it worse. Looking for a little reassurance eh 😉 A good rule of thumb: "If you think it MIGHT be OCD, it probably is."
  7. Hi @robbiec87, sorry that you lost something important to you. Its reasonable to feel a little bad about that, give yourself some time to move on. Also, it might help to keep in mind that change is a part of life. Sometimes change happens because we choose it, sometimes it happens not by our choice. We can enjoy things while they are here, and be a little sad when they are gone, but ultimately we have to keep moving forward. This was something that was a good part of your life, try and focus on the fact that you had it at least for a little while, not that it is gone forever. As the old saying goes, "Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all"
  8. First, you need to recognize the sense of threat you feel is not matched by the actual risk of the situation. Second, you need to consider how a person without this particular obsessive fear would react in a situation like this. Third, you need to try your best to react that way. Fourth, you need to try to avoid behaviors that reinforce the idea that there is a high risk in situations like this. Cigarettes are certainly not healthy and second hand smoke CAN be a problem. Here are some reasonable reactions: Its reasonable to try and avoid smokers and smoking Its reasonable to find smoking to be a disgusting habit Its reasonable to be annoyed by a delivery person smoking while making your delivery Its reasonable to provide feedback about the situation to the delivery provider Here are behaviors that are extreme/unnecessary Throwing out all that you ordered Ruminating about the long term effects of toxic chemicals from this incident Ruminating about becoming addicted from this incident Continuing to allow the anger over this minor incident to fester The odds that this minor exposure to cigarette smoke having ANY impact your (or others) physical health essentially zero. Yet the OCD driven extreme reaction is having a significant negative impact on your life, far far far far FAR worse than the actual impact of the incident. Its like putting someone in prison for 30 years because they returned their book to the library one day late. The punishment far outweighs the crime. I understand that the emotions you are feeling are real. You feel angry, you feel scared, you feel upset. All of that is true, and unpleasant. But the actual threat is just not there. Part of overcoming OCD is learning to separate how we FEEL about a situation, from how we react to it. You move on by choosing to move on.
  9. If you think it might be OCD it probably is 😁 The thing is, it doesn’t really matter. The only reason it SEEMS like it matters is because of the OCD. You could have offended the musician in the worst possible way and you could still enjoy the music, there is no inherent connection between these two things. OCD is just causing the thought that their MIGHT be a connection to remain stuck in your head. It seems like you can’t move on from the thought because when you try it keeps popping back up. Frustrating? Absolutely. But it doesn’t actually matter if you have the thought. What matters is if you pay attention to the thought. Think of it like this, imagine you are in school and there is a bully. Every day the bully tells you you are worthless, you are terrible, no one likes you, etc. Now if that happens it’s understandable to be upset. It’s a very unpleasant experience to go through. But just because the bully says those awful things doesn’t mean they are true. You could be a really great and talented person with lots of friends. You could pay attention to what the bully says, start believing what he says, and as a result you’ll feel awful. Not good. But what if you ignore what the bully is saying? It might still be annoying but odds are he’ll get bored and give up eventually. You’ll be able to live your life and not be dragged down. OCD is very much like that. It’s bullying you by telling you certain things, over and over again. Unfortunately, because of how our brains tend to work, we start to buy in to those taunts. The SEEM important, it feels like we HAVE to listen. But the reality is, we don’t. As much as it feels like these thoughts matter, as if the details matter, they really don’t. You can’t win by playing OCD at its game. You have to choose to not respond like it makes you think you have to. It’s not easy at first but it works. The more you challenge the OCD, the easier it will get. So listen to that song, play that game. Maybe you can only do it for a short time at first. That’s ok. Small victories can lead to bigger ones down the line. Remind yourself that OCD is lying to you. You don’t have to do what it says. You don’t have to play it’s game.
  10. Sorry to hear you are struggling with all this @fightoffyourdemons, I hope writing some of it out helps you process it a bit, I know that doing so can help me with my OCD struggles. So a number of years back I experienced a major OCD incident that directly affected something I enjoyed. I was watching an episode of one of my favorite TV series (Doctor Who) and experienced a very disturbing intrusive thought. It actually had absolutely nothing to do with the show itself, I don't know why it popped in to my head when it did, but it didn't matter. I spiraled downward pretty quickly and for quite some time struggled to deal with my OCD. The details of the thought and my recovery aren't particularly important, what is relevant to your situation is that after that I found it very difficult to watch Doctor Who, ESPECIALLY the particular episode I was watching at the time. I felt like it had been ruined, I didn't want to watch it because it was connected to my fear and I never wanted to deal with that fear again. Eventually however, I got to the point in my recovery where I needed to confront this situation. I had to make a choice. I could either let this thing I had loved be ruined forever OR I could take on the challenge of fixing things. So I made myself start watching the show again. At first it was hard, I didn't particularly enjoy it. It made me feel anxiety and was unpleasant. However, I knew that if I kept at it, if I kept watching the show and avoiding my compulsions and negative behaviors, the link would be broken. And it was. Eventually I watched the specific episode that I'd been watching when my OCD flared up. And I watched it again, and again. Each time it got easier. Each time it became less associated with that bad incident. Now I can watch it without.a problem. I broke the connection between my anxiety and the thing I loved. The reality is you CAN get the enjoyment back. You haven't lost it forever UNLESS you allow it to remain lost. No, you won't enjoy it at first, but you don't have to. At first the only thing you need to do is experience it (be it music or video games) and NOT given in to the compulsions and obsession as best as you can. Keep doing that over and over, keep listening to the album or playing the game, and you'll break free from the limitations OCD is trying to place on you. You'll be able to enjoy the things again because you will no longer associate them with the OCD problem. You have to fake it til you make it. Fortunately for you (and all OCD sufferers) the mind is a very adaptable tool, we can change how we think and act, if are willing to put in the work. Its not fun, especially at first, but the alternative is worse. One more small point, I recommend avoiding terms like "Pure-O". While many people try to sub-classify OCD, the reality is its all basically the same thing. You have an obsessive thought, you react using compulsions, it interferes with your life, aka a disorder. OCD. People with "Pure-O" don't really exist, because all suffers have compulsions. You might not physically count objects, or wash your hands ten times in a row or whatever, but the compulsions are still there and you need to confront them the same as people with physical, noticeable ones. OCD is OCD. Try not to get caught up in the various categories and focus on what you can do to improve. Anyway I hope that helps. Now get out there and shoot some post-apocalyptic monsters
  11. Hi @Nikola Tesla, welcome to the forums. I am sorry to hear about the struggles you are going through right now, especially the passing of your mother. Stressful situations like that definitely can make OCD worse, but as Throwaway says, just because its bad now doesn't mean it has to stay that way forever. One thing to keep in mind is that the C part of CBT stands for Cognitive, which means changing the WAY you think. Talking about your problems and learning how to think differently about your obsessions is an important part of recovery. That doesn't mean just talking and talking, there needs to be some work involved, evaluation of how you are thinking and working towards applying new thought processes, but its possible thats part of what your therapist was doing. Additionally it can be helpful for the therapist to understand you and your problems by listening. Of course the B (Behavioral) part is important too, that would be the things like reducing the time you spend on tasks etc. One of the paradoxes of OCD recovery is that its very simple, but also very hard. Many sufferers go in to therapy looking for deep insight and sudden answers, thinking if they just find that one way of doing things, one way of thinking about them, everything will "click in to place" so to speak and they'll be fine. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Overcoming OCD is much like unlearning a bad habit. You have to keep repeating the same positive steps over and over until they become automatic. So your therapist was telling you what you already knew probably because its what you should be doing, what you should be applying to every situation. Learning what to do to deal with OCD is easy, the hard part is applying it, over and over and over. The reality is, as much as you may feel like you have to do these things (such as change and wash your clothes) the reality is you don't. If you don't do them you almost certainly will feel anxiety, and at first it will be strong anxiety, but if you keep not doing it the anxiety will fade, and eventually you won't feel that anxiety anymore. To recover from OCD you have to accept that you are going to feel anxiety. This may seem crazy at first, after all, isn't the whole point that you DONT want to feel anxiety? Yes, thats true, however recovery involves trading short term anxiety for long term recovery. Its like exercise, when you first start it hurts a lot, you get sore, you get tired, its no fun at all. But if you keep at it, eventually what was once hard becomes easy, your body adjusts and improves. You get in better shape. Your mind can work the same way, you can make it stronger and able to handle OCD more easily but working out everyday. That involves challenging the demands OCD makes on you. If OCD says you have to brush your teeth for 25 minutes, brush for 20. When you stop, it won't feel good at first. You'll have the urge to continue, but the more you can resist that urge, the stronger you will become. Unfortunately this change will not happen quickly, however if you make an effort it will get better. You've already learned how to break this down into smaller steps. To make gradual improvements. That is the key to recovery, to do that for your various behaviors, make small changes over time that add up to big ones. Its also important to remind yourself, that feeling anxiety, feeling discomfort does not mean you are in actual danger. You have to accept that you are going to feel bad when you try and change these behaviors, but it is worth it, because things staying as they are now is even worse suffering. One other option is medication, which can help make it easier to take on that work. Whether or not you want to go down that path is up to you and your doctor, but it is a valuable and helpful tool for many of us who suffer from OCD. It won't make everything perfect again, but it can make it easier to take on these tasks for improvement. Besides that, there is really no "trick" to beating OCD, its just stubbornness and hard work. Only you can choose to make those choices, to take on that work. It may seem like an impossible goal now, but if you break it up into smaller steps it becomes easier and as you make progress towards your goals you will gain more confidence and strength. Its not fair that you, or I, or any of us have OCD. We didn't do anything to deserve it, its just bad luck. You can't change the fact that this particular bad luck happened to you, but you can change your future by making the choices and putting in the work to get better. Therapy is great in that it helps you understand what you need to do, but the real recovery from OCD is in doing the work yourself, every day, the therapist is only your coach, your guide. You are the athlete, you are the one who actually has to run that race. Good luck.
  12. @Runningaway I am so so so sorry to hear that terrible news. I can't imagine the pain you must be going through right now. However, its important to realize and remember that, whatever the circumstances, it was ultimately your partners choice to make. It is not your fault that he made this tragic decision. No person should ever be required to stay in a relationship with someone unless they want to, you had every right to break up with him, no matter what happened. There's also no guarantee that staying with him would have ultimately prevented this. Just as you were struggling with OCD, clearly he was struggling with his own demons, demons that may well have been beyond your abilities to help him with even if you are perfectly healthy. Dealing with mental health issues is hard, all of us here know that. Its completely understandable for you to be in pain right now. I strongly encourage you to reach out to a counselor or therapist to help you deal with this situation. I can't imagine its going to be easy, but there is help available and you deserve that help. Again, so sorry for the tragic situation you have to deal with right now.
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