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dksea

OCD-UK Member
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About dksea

  • Birthday 11/08/1980

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    Tokyo, Japan

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  1. As star ice hockey player Wayne Gretzky once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." When you take a chance, yes it can end up not going the way you want it to, and that can be frustrating. However if you don't take a chance on things its very doubtful you'll get the opportunities that you want to have either, the times when taking a chance works out. That doesn't mean you should always take chances all the time, there is such a thing as TOO much risk taking. But no risk taking is not the answer either. You should be proud of yourself for trying, and do what you can to learn from this experience and see if you can help make things turn out better next time. Finally, remember, sometimes the decision is out of your hands and no matter how much you do it doesn't turn out the way you want. It doesn't mean you weren't ready or weren't right, it just means that this time it didn't happen. Next time could be different.
  2. Phil, you are doing the same thing as always, simply posting your latest intrusive thought. That is not helping, its a compulsion, you need to stop.
  3. SO there you go then Is it possible to be misdiagnosed? Sure its possible. Is it likely in your situation? No, its probably not likely, therefore not worth spending time dwelling on. So if you are feeling doubt, its probably OCD and you should treat it as OCD and work on paying no mind to the thought
  4. So long as you continue to engage in compulsions and avoid the work to tackle OCD these thoughts are almost certainly not going to go away, in fact they will probably continue to get worse. If you want things to change then you need to start changing your behavior and responses. As Taurean says, you can't MAKE these thoughts go away, at least not directly. The thoughts will go away over time IF you stop feeding them by responding to them with compulsions like rumination and confession. You can also help speed up the process through ERP. The goal is not to make the thought go away so much as to make yourself no longer CARE about whether the thought goes away or not. The way to beat this is the same as it has been since your first post.
  5. Hi Luke, sorry to hear you are having a hard time. This is an example of the black and white thinking that people who struggle with OCD often engage in. The problem with such thinking is it traps you in to a false either/or situation. You said "nobody cares BECAUSE they think I'm a bad person". Yes, this is technically a possibility, but its not the ONLY possibility. Maybe nobody cares because they don't think what you did is worth worrying this much over? Or maybe they do care, but don't have time to respond right away? Or maybe they do care, but they are trying to think of how best to help you? Or maybe they do care, and they are trying not to feed your OCD with reassurance? There are lots of possibilities here, so asserting that "they think I'm a bad person" is true doesn't make sense. I'd also point out that people are taking the time out of their lives to respond to you here on this forum, and your therapist is helping you, etc. Clearly people do care, not about the incident, but about helping you! Exactly, you can't change the past. You can learn from it, you can decide to act differently because of it, you can try and make amends to the person if you know them by apologizing for it, but you don't help yourself or anyone else by punishing yourself severely or indefinitely for something that is relatively minor. I think you should read PolarBears question and answer him, he's very knowledgable about OCD and can offer good insight.
  6. Posting elsewhere isn't going to help Phil, the problem is the compulsion to post. We are offering you a path out of the mess you have found yourself in, is there a reason you won't take it? What are you looking for going forward?
  7. In that case I'll recommend the following (not my original quote, fyi) Never be a prisoner of your past, it was a lesson not a life sentence. I don't know what your specific worry is, I'm sure you've mentioned it on other threads but I don't know if I've seen, but given the OCD at play, I'm going to go with it being far less serious than you have come to believe it is, and that yes, you probably are being unrealistic with your worry. I don't say that to make you feel bad, its how OCD works, its the trap we ALL fall in to regarding our intrusive thoughts until we learn how to respond differently. Especially unrealistic if its causing you this much depression and anxiety. Unless you committed some terrible crime and are hiding from the authorities (unlikely) you should more than likely work on letting this go and moving on with your life. The worrying isn't doing you or anyone good, so why continue with it?
  8. It’s not unrealistic to be concerned about persistent, unexplained pain, no. If it’s still bothering you you should see a doctor, that would be reasonable. But developing deep anxiety and depression over something that is, so far as you know, not serious is definitely disproportionate. Also, I’m not quite clear on how going back in time would solve the issue.
  9. Possibly thats true, but consider, how often in your entire life up to this point has that happened? How many days has something truly life changing (in a negative way) happened? Probably not too often. The reality is, for most people, most days of our lives life remains pretty stable and "normal". If it didn't the world would be a very very different place. If you are waiting for a world in which nothing significantly bad can ever happen to you, I'm afraid that will never be true. Bad things can and do happen sometimes, thats reality. But if you spend all your time and effort worrying about those possibilities that means in essence something bad is ALWAYS happening to you, because the anxiety and doubt rob you of being able to enjoy life in the first place.
  10. The thing is you aren't going to get different advice on how to stop worrying. Regardless of what your anxiety of the day or moment is, the path to overcoming it is virtually the same. As PB says, we've told you how you can overcome this, but you keep responding with how you can't/won't/etc. We tell you you need to engage in ERP and do things like touching a trash bin, but you tell us you can't do that. We tell you to work with a CBT trained therapist, you tell us you have tried it but it didn't work, so you don't want to do it again (it likely didn't work because you seem unwilling to actually DO the work). If you want to stop worrying, you need to cut out the compulsions and one of your biggest compulsions is posting about your latest anxiety on a nearly daily basis. Thats not healthy or helpful to you. Its reasonable and helpful to seek out advice and support occasionally on this forum. Just like its reasonable and helpful to wash your hands on the right occasions. But compulsive posting is like compulsive hand washing, it is no longer healthy if you do it so often and without understanding the real purpose. Your posts are no different from a person who washes their hands over and over. They reply that they are just doing it to make sure they are clean, you reply that you are just doing it to try and get advice, but the reality is that neither thing is whats happening, you are, instead causing yourself damage, either through excessive washing or excessive posting. I don't mean to suggest you should NEVER post or interact on the forum, its good to have a place to turn to both for support and for community. But the degree you are posting isn't helping you. You really need to consider limiting the degree to which you post, and as others have pointed out, stop treating this thread (and others) like a confession diary. If you want advice thats number one.
  11. Speaking of the heat death of the universe, according to all the current models and data it is expected to occur on the order of 1E1000 years, that is, 1 followed by 1000 zeros. That is a HUGE number. Its so huge its practically impossible to conceptualize. But to give you an idea of what you are talking about, consider the following: The age of the universe is roughly 1.4E10 years old. The age of the universe in seconds is about 4.3E17 The age of the universe in plank time, the smallest possible division of time, is about 1E53 The number of atoms that make up everything on earth is about 1E50 The number of particles that make up everything in the observable universe is 1E80 Basically nothing meaningful that exists or has existed in the entirety of the universe can even be measured in units above that. Yet the predicted eventually heat death of the universe is virtually incomprehensibly longer than that. That is what you are ultimately worried about. The eventually fate of something that has, for all intents and purposes, barely even begun. Does it really strike you as reasonable to spend so much time worrying about something like that?
  12. If I had a dollar/euro/pound for every time I've seen this statement (or a variation on it) from a person on this message board, I could fund OCD-UK for a hundred years It IS different in the sense you are dealing with a different anxiety, but the underlying pattern, and how to address it, is the same. Taurean's observation and advice are spot on. It's not that we disagree with you that time is passing, its that we don't particularly worry about it. It just is, a thing that we can't change, so what will worrying about it do? I will probably die someday. But I'm not dead now. Humanity will probably go extinct some day. But it's not extinct now. Oh, also, and this doesn't really change anything about your OCD, but the universe probably WONT end someday, according to the current models at least, it will just continue expanding until the point where everything is too spread out to interact with anything else, on like a subatomic level even. Regardless it won't be the type of environment that can support life as we know it. BUT, its not that way now. You can waste your life worrying about things that you can't change, or you can live it. Thats a choice you can make. You may/will still get intrusive thoughts about it, but thats just OCD demanding you play its game and the reality is you don't have to. You don't have to "solve" these problems or come up with answers. You can just live your life, you are totally allowed to do that.
  13. Agreed with Malina. Anxiety is a normal, useful in some cases, emotion. There is no reason to "cure" it. Anxiety disorders are abnormal and not at all useful and should absolutely be treated.
  14. Side issue, so I don't want to get too far down this rabbit hole, but yes absolutely the scientific method was also applied to the hello-centric model. The Platonic' conception of the way the heavens worked was based on verifiable observation and it could predict both the past and future apparent movement of the heavens with reasonable accuracy. Was it also influenced by the prevailing religious world view at the time? Certainly, but it was still something that people could independently verify by watching the movements of the stars and planets themselves and applying the Platonic model to those measurements. Ultimately it was supplanted by Copernicus and later Galileo's model because it fit the data better, in addition to being simpler and more straightforward, but it too could possibly be supplanted someday if an even better model which matches the observable data works even better. Science is not absolute, it is based on the current best model and can (and is) supplanted when a better or more accurate version is discovered or refined from it. Consider, for example, the explanation of how various species, apparently related, ended up on far different locations. One hypothesis was land bridges, formerly present but since submerged, collapsed or otherwise changed, that allowed species to cross vast distances. While we have good evidence to support the existence of SOME such structures (such as between present day Alaska and Russia), scientists once believed that they were far more extensive, including entire continents that connected areas like India to Madagascar. Later, as our ability to gather evidence improved this theory, which was the best explanation at the time for what happened, was supplanted by the current accepted theory of continental drift. Or the basic three particle model of physics (proton, neutron, electron). At one time these were believed to be the fundamental building blocks of the universe, that everything was composed of these in various combinations and configurations. Now, with more advanced equipment and methods we know that even these seemingly fundamental particles, are, themselves, made up of even smaller building blocks. It doesn't mean the previous method was unscientific, merely that science did what its supposed to do, continued to question and refine based on new information. Heck, even Galileo was wrong, his model assumed the sun was the center of the entire universe, something current models do not support. Science is about constant refinement and improvement based on the best possible models based on data, and as our ability to measure and examine the universe around us has continued to improve, so to has our ability to use science to describe it. But earlier, more primitive explanations still fall under the category of science as long as they meet the necessary criteria.
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