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About Nathan

  • Birthday 10/08/1996

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    West Midlands
  1. I don't think that I have depression, but i can associate with some of the feelings of a low mood. i don't feel too bad right now but a week or two ago i felt horrible. I kept thinking about suicide as an option to escape from this, just wanted to cry and not speak to anyone, detached myself from college and everyone there, ocd got reaaally bad. then i had a period of being like hyper happy, i'm not sure why, but then i feel like i am now. i don't feel particularly down or upset, but i seem to be bored no matter what i'm doing, have no aspiration to concentrate and do well at college (i usually want to achieve my best) and my ocd is still pretty bad. my parents also keep saying i seem a bit 'withdrawn' recently? like i'm not talking that much and stuff but i don't notice this. maybe that's just me though, who knows?
  2. Nathan


    Hello yellow as we say here, we cannot actually diagnose you with OCD, but based on what you've said, i'd suggest going to see a doctor about this. strangely i can't associate with everyone else in that my OCD was in fact exactly the same during my exams, but anyway, considering it's stressing you, and taking up what seems to be a fair bit of time, it's probably likely you have a case of OCD. For now, i'd just recommend to try and combat the thoughts, i don't have any experience with religious compulsions so i can't give exact advice apart from book a doctors appointment asap because the sooner you see them, the sooner something could be done about it!
  3. Nathan


    Hi, nice to speak again too! I know how you feel though, it's not necessarily a long term solution but if a new intrusive thought or compulsion begins to pester me then it takes away the thought from the other one, it's horrible i feel like i never get a rest from OCD! sometimes i actually dream about doing compulsions, how weird is that?! I'm not bad thanks though, thanks for asking! been a bit of a weird week because i went like hyper happy for 5 days then i felt really down and horrible like when i first joined.. but now i feel like a 'normal' mood again. weird things for weird people how about yourself?
  4. Yeah, i've heard about them but i thought they were only institutionalising people there? like so they have to live there and stuff. I suppose that is one of the few options you have left though, just think about it though, you're lying for the good, it's not going to harm anyone and only benefit you if you're still uncomfortable about it though, have you thought about getting a private councillor just to talk about general anxiety? you won't need a referral or anything like that for that, my mum's looking into it now for me, i'll let you know how it goes? I've had both though, one time they made me go wash my hands the wrong way at one of the sinks and not let me go back. :l Meds and treatment is the best though, there's not that much point in meds if you haven't had cbt personally! I take sertraline too as well, first one i've had and nearing the maximum dose. done some good but could be a lot better from here still. :/ Nathan
  5. Nathan


    I know this is probably a bit late, but the first thing to think is 'does signing up and taking a picture on gmail really have anything to do with me getting raped?' it can be hard to convince yourself, but it helps. the best thing to do when panicking about ocd is to divert your train of thought from the compulsions. How is it now anyway?
  6. Wow I forgot it's been like a week since i've been on here! that's ****, i've heard of the priory, not sure what they're supposed to be like? I kind of know how you feel, i have to go back to camhs this thursday where no matter what i say about how horrible i've been feeling recently, they'll just give me more meds, and nothing'll change -_- yeah it's okay, i know i haven't been around much but im sure everyone looks out for each other round here!
  7. That's stupid, they shouldn't stop your treatment based on that! I know it might affect your OCD what happens at home, but they're dealing with your OCD, not your home life. I know someone else who had the same thing happen to them, because their mum had OCD as well and was reluctant to cure it too, they discharged her. Have you thought about trying to find a private therapist or councillor? I haven't really had any experience with them, but they'll be quite similar to camhs therapists, and it'd be better than nothing if you can get hold of one I agree though, even if you aren't really getting that much better now and again, talking to a trained professional is nice! I'm sure the rest of the forum will agree when I say you can talk to us if you want, we're all fairly familiar with OCD too you know Nathan
  8. I used to get anxious that my work and grades would be bad if I didn't cross it out and rewrite it 'perfectly' so obviously I done it a lot. It does seem irrational when you think about it but that's OCD for you, at the time it feels completely real.
  9. Yeah i've tried it a few times before, sometimes successful, sometimes not. Why did they stop your treatment? I've done that before, take my mind off of it by doing something else I like to take my mind off of the anxiety. I used to do that because it made it easier to cope with but recently it just makes me more anxious i've been feeling a little better today, which is good, but I still think i've a fair bit of a way to go before i'm back on track
  10. I used to do this when I was at school (at college now), I know how you feel, it's so annoying because you feel like a snail to everyone else and they can tell because you've barely done anything. My books used to have like a scribble on every sentence and because I was trying to be neat it really annoyed me. I always had to have my equipment specifically organised and when people took it off me I wasn't very happy. I beat it to the point where it wasn't a problem for me though anymore, just think of it this way if it helps, scribbling out the word isn't going to change the meaning of it or your grade because they aren't connected. I don't feel like i should be giving out advice right now because i'm in a bad phase but if it helps you, it helps you.
  11. Hi Madison I do feel like that as well, when I try to resist doing something it just stays there and nags at me and I find it really hard to cope with... I know it's supposed to be like that at first, so does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the anxiety until it finally goes? I haven't ever self harmed either, but I do get the suicidal thoughts. It is really upsetting but we just have to learn to cope I suppose. And yeah I do, sort of. They just prescribe and monitor my medication atm, but I used to have CBT with them usually once a week ish until about a year and a half ish ago. I can do it, but i find it really hard to plan out what i should do and how to cope when i don't have a therapist supporting me.
  12. Everyone's different. Everyone's a freak. We're just the best freaks... :original: I feel separated as well, because even though we speak to other people, i just don't feel like I 'fit in' properly, if you know what I mean? I feel like if there was one to be singled out in a group of people for being 'different' or 'weird', it would most likely be me. As much pain as this bloody OCD causes me though, i'll be proud of who I am, because without it, I could be completely different. Everyone else is the same. One small difference about someone could have made them a completely different person. As RegainYourself said, other people have disorders they may be hiding too, something like 1 in 4 people deal with some form of mental illness during their lifetime, so that makes a lot of freaks out there! Through thick and thin, we should be proud of who we are!
  13. I liked this, I find myself dwelling on the bad things and missed opportunities that OCD causes quite often. I shouldn't do it because it makes me upset and there's nothing to do to change it, so instead of being stuck in the past you should look to what you can do in the future, and this poem reminds me of that. We can't change our past, but we can change our future. Did you make this yourself? Either way, thanks for sharing it!
  14. Hi, i've been at CAMHS since i was twelve, it has made significant improvement to me in the past but as of late it doesn't really help. Since around a year ago I haven't had any actual therapy as such, just a doctor overseeing my medication. My mum and dad know about it too, but while they do their best I don't think they can still understand the pain of it tbh. I don't really think i've ever had a bad phase as worse as this before so it's really getting me down, but I do try. It feels like a rollercoaster to be honest, one minute i could be feeling really happy and optimistic but then later in the day i feel really down, lethargic and just sad. I'm not at school though and I have no exams either fortunately, one positive thing! It is a tiring strain on the mind, no matter what aspect you are dealing with, and I just thought i'd come here for some advice and support, it might hopefully help Good luck in whichever stage of the struggle you are at too!
  15. Hey, i'm nathan and i'm new btw. I've had OCD for as long as I can remember. But recently, the last couple of months, i feel i'm taking a very bad turn for the worse. The intrusive thoughts are becoming worse, sometimes I try to resist but they make me panic so much. The compulsions are getting worse too, i'm spending more time on them every day and I don't feel like I can go five minutes without doing a compulsion. I've got a few new ones and the old ones are worse. It's really making me so upset, and I just don't feel any point in anything anymore. Life feels like more of a hassle than a pleasure and I just don't really feel like i want to do anything. I used to play games a lot but now i just can't be bothered. It also upsets me how i sometimes get thoughts that go along the lines of "if i killed myself, i wouldn't have to deal with this" i don't think i'd do it but i just never thought i'd ever be this 'bad'. I try sometimes saying to myself, today is going to be a good day and i'm going to be happy, but i just give up because it really feels too hard. I can't deal with it anymore, help
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