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About MFortunato

  • Birthday 22/04/1994

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  1. Maby try a different cbt doctor because they should be sympathetic
  2. Thanks Liz hopefully i can do it. I am starting a new doctor for cbt and this is definitely the main thing i Need to work on.
  3. I too get so anxious about all the accounts I have made. There are so many and its so hard to keep track of
  4. alright sorry if this is confusing I have been spending so much time trying to get my thoughts out so im going to just keep it as short as possible and to the point. that being said im trying to use a loofah because just using my hand makes me go through so much body wash. Now my question is this. I was going to just use the loofah for my body minus my face, pits, groin, butt, and feet and use my hands for those but doing that i still use a lot of body wash. so today I was really brave and washed everything minus my butt with the loofah. I DO NOT feel clean at all but im hanging in there. Would it be the better thing to wash everything with the loofah and deal with the feeling of the contamination? cause its not worth stressing over washing the loofah just so i save a tiny bit of body wash. Doing this will cause a lot of stress and worry for me but I feel its the best thing to do in my situation because it would be exposure therapy for me. My main worry is contaminating the loofah and then just washing it all over my body. but then i wonder if its soaped up wouldnt all the bacteria just fall off my body? im just so confused.
  5. Thanks PolorBear I like this line a lot. its getting me thinking that I really try to hard with getting clean and I got to accept the fact I will never be as clean as i want to be. Thanks Miss Lemon I have switched to unscented deodorant but its not as good as the one I used to use sweat wise. warriortigerheart im back home now but going there next weekend so I will try my hardest to not feed the monster.
  6. Thanks guys iv been getting used to it and that's a great idea Annabel. My worries mostly revolve around the amount of bacteria I have on my skin because they are the culprits of smelling bad and to me that's what outcome I fear. I also obsess that I'm going to get someone sick because I didn't clean enough and I might kill someone. Then what makes things worse is when I use slot of body wash and feel clean I start obsessing that people can smell that I used an abnormal amount and I keep obsessing over that. So overall I'm always obsessing over something. I also use a lot of deodorant but I switched to unsented ones and that helps. I'm also starting therapy with a New doctor that focuses more on doing the work then talk therapy and I think that's what I need most
  7. The problem is I'm sharing it with my family and I dont really like the shower floor and I use a ton of body wash as it is and I did rewashh more then I usually do. I wish I could be normal Annabel it's so hard to deal with this day in and day out. I find myself sleeping a ton just so I can escape from it all.
  8. To top it off it's a very small shower but I'm really trying to not let it get to me. I'm having problems feeling clean because of the really low water pressure. I can't clean my butt as well as I usually do and that's my biggest concern in the shower. I'm back to using anti bacterial wipes after my shower because I'm so anxious. Idk what to do. I need to just understand that if I soap up the water just needs to get the soap off but it doesn't need to be that much water. Anyone else ever have this issue?? And if so what did u do to calm down
  9. It's making then longer because I'm trying to get it to lather more and it takes longer or its just in my head
  10. So I have been forcing my self to only use a tablespoon of body wash each time I use it. It's going very well I had a shower and used only half a bottle!!!!!! Thanks for the motivation makes my showers longer tho
  11. Alright so I basically go through a bottle of body wash to take my showers. I try using a little but then it wont lather alot? i dont understand how a little bit is supposed to be efficient at lathering your arms, stomach, back then all the otther places. Then I started using a loofah but god knows im a stupid ass and cant use it more then once cause i feel like its contaminated. and I like to scrub my pubic hair and what not and loofahs just dont do that well in my mind. What the **** do i do? cause its so expensive to buy that much body wash and so ******* stressfull having to deal with the shame of my mom buying them. I also will not take multiple showers in a day becuse one there so ******* long and two i use so much ******* BODY WASH. I just dont understand. Maby im not doing something right? i dont ******* know. alll i know is im just stressed. Anyone have any advice to this issue?
  12. If anyone wants to reply and share their successes through their journey of treatment.
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