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Miranda123

Bulletin Board User
  • Posts

    1,064
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About Miranda123

  • Birthday 18/04/1993

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Harm OCD/Intrusive thoughts

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    UK
  • Interests
    Swimming, hot tubs (i want one), make up & fashion.
    Currently studying to become a chartered accountant.
    I also love Miranda Hart!

Recent Profile Visitors

1,122 profile views
  1. Thank you so much for all of your replies. I think it's safe to say my stress isn't helping! It helped just to write down how I was feeling though, so thank you. I think I'll get my self help books back out and have a read to refresh on everything, and (hopefully) relax for a while!
  2. Hi all, hope everyone is well. I haven't been on here for quite a long while; my OCD has been really under control for the past few years. I suddenly feel like I am starting to fall back into obsessing and worrying - Im obsessing that I'm starting to hear voices but it's my own internal dialogue in my head. I'm obsessing that they are voices then I think I can feel weird feelings in my ears even though I'm not actually hearing anything, all based around harm. I've had this sort of thing before but I think it's caught me so off guard I'm not dealing with it very well. Can extra stress cause OCD to rear it's ugly head? I'm very stressed at work, to the point where they have given me 2 weeks off paid leave because it's that bad - busy, demanding, work load far too high. I've also been diagnosed with SVT after ending up in resus with a heart rate of 210bpm for almost 3 hours - of which I'm terrified every day that it will happen again. Sorry for rambling, I really just need somewhere to let all of this out!
  3. It's just a thought that you have latched onto, causing you to ruminate over and try to figure it out - your mind is throwing whatever it can at you to scare you. Just acknowledge it as only a thought and carry on with your day.
  4. Hey ginger, sorry to hear you are going through a bad patch. You helped me so much when I was new here are in the grips of OCD. I know you know what's going on here and you know how to tackle it. You've done it before and you can do it again! Don't let it have any of your time, kick it's butt!
  5. Thanks so much snowdog! Yes thats exactly it. My mind feels so busy and full of random clutter it's really unsettling. I have just bought and moved into my own house with my partner so I am pretty sure it's the massive change and stress that's caused a relapse for me, I have never dealt that well with change. I am seeing a therapist currently though and I still take meds. Hoping I can just be strong and get through this! Thanks again x
  6. Currently having a bit of a relapse - I've not really experienced what's happening currently and it's freaking me out. I am worrying about hearing voices, going crazy etc and I don't hear voices but I keep focussing on my ears and I have this weird, heavy type feeling in my ears and I feel like there's weird conversations or stuff that doesn't make sense going round in my head constantly and because my ears feel weird, it almost feels like I'm hearing it? Even though I can't.. I suffered with harm intrusive thoughts previously, and they have re surfaced a bit but it's more this weird feeling that's really hard to describe. Does it make any sort of sense to anyone? Thank you
  7. Thank you Polar. I only have a slight reaction but it's still a reaction so that needs to stop. It's actually made me realise/remember how strong I was when I was in the grips of it last time. Causing me to reflect on it not only in a bad way but a good way too.
  8. Hi all, I seem to be having a small relapse at the moment, my harm thoughts are resurfacing a little. I have just bought and moved into my first house with my boyfriend which I am really happy about but it is a massive change and I'm wondering if the stress of it has caused a relapse for me. I thought that since being pretty much free of intrusive thoughts for a good few years I would be tough as nails if it ever flared up again but I'm getting tricked by the thoughts so easily even now and I just feel sick at the thought of going down that road again. I still have my self help books and material from when I had CBT before and I'm also still on my meds. Can we ever 'let our guards down' so to speak? Even if we feel recovered?
  9. Hi Gary, When i had CBT my therapist had me do the same, i suffered with harm thoughts too. I had to write things down like 'i'm scared i will stab my own mother when using a knife in the kitchen'... it was horrible, i also had to read them out over and over. After reading them a few times it begins to sound so far fetched. I think it did help me a bit with my recovery although not very pleasant at all!
  10. Hey, We have all been there. You need to help yourself - get some self-help books, educate yourself, do things that you enjoy, get up and go out even if you don't feel like it. And like ashipinharbor said, definitely look into getting yourself some CBT.
  11. Hi there, I am in the same boat as you but my worry is my breathing. That I'll stop breathing and die which makes me focus on it then my chest goes tight etc. Palpitations are really common with anxiety. Don't second guess the results of your tests, just accept that your heart is perfectly healthy and allow those sensations to be there. The more worked up you get, the worse they will feel. Unfortunately you sometimes just have to accept the uncertainty. So, for me I've started saying, oh well, if I stop breathing I'll pass out and die. If I die I won't know anything about it anyway. It's morbid, but will eventually take that fear away.
  12. Hi Jim I'm thinking maybe it is more anxiety rather than OCD now as I'm not scared of stopping breathing if I stop thinking about it as I know that when I stop thinking about it, it goes away. I just obsess over it, for some reason cannot get my focus off my breathing which then leads me to breathe really shallow and feel like I can't breathe properly then I'll stop breathing and die. I'm angry because I'm getting in the way of something automatic, making it feel terrible then I'm in a state of panic. Then it calms a little then back to the start. It's very tiring!!
  13. Woohoo! Well done OceanDweller! Thanks for sharing, it's so lovely reading about those little victories!
  14. I have been OCD free for a few years now. I am having a bit of a relapse at the moment but in a completely different 'theme'. I thought i just had high anxiety but I've read about Sensorimotor OCD, obsessing over automatic processes such as breathing or blinking. I cannot stop obsessing over my breathing. From the moment i wake up to the moment i close my eyes at night, i feel as though i manually have to breathe otherwise i will stop breathing. I feel i need to control it, even though i know i don't. I have got myself in a right pickle. I am doing the usual; not drinking caffeine, upped dosage of my tablets, started some therapy sessions with a CBT therapist who is also teaching me relaxation and to accept the way i am feeling. I have also been checked by the doctor that nothing it wrong medically, even though i have the constant urge to go back to be checked again as I'm sure they have missed something or they don't care. My chest tightens like someone is clenching their fist about the have a fight then i obsess even more that something is wrong with my breathing, it's constant and so uncomfortable. I find that with enough engagement into something i can forget about it and my symptoms go away, but i can rarely get engaged enough in something that that happens. Not sure what I'm expecting by posting this, it actually just feels nice to write down exactly whats going on in my head to people that understand.
  15. Oh yes! I suffered with harm thoughts for ages but was free for years... now all of a sudden i have what i thought was anxiety... but i realize i am obsessing again, obsessive thoughts are whizzing round my head. It's manifesting in a completely different theme, 4 years on. Sneaky little thing!!!
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