soixante

I have collected a few stamps, where shall I send them. Sue

Hello, This site has been a godsend to me since I joined, I felt so alone and isolated too. :dry: I have to agree with the others CBT helped my son enormously. However it is not always easy to get, my son was diagnosed when he was 15/16 and qualified for treatment at that time as an adolescent, waiting times were pretty short, so within a couple of months he saw a psychiatrist and received counselling. He is 17 now, his CBT had to come to an end in December 2006 because of his age (it was supposed to stop when he was 16, actually, but he hadn't completed the treatment at that time. I know it can be more difficult as they get older to get them to see people who may be able to help. My son has similar fears, not particularly germs as such but 'dirt' and his perception of dirt. Although I suppose if he thought about raw meat, germs and salmonella , long enough that could pose a problem too. I find sometimes he can 'flip' if he sees something on tele, that might get him thinking. Good luck, Keep posting, there are lots of friendly and really helpful people on this forum. regards, Sue

Hi, We claimed DLA (Disability Living Allowance) for my son, it was a long drawn out process, we started the claim in February 2006, and it didn't get sorted till October 2006, however the payments were back dated. We had to appeal against the original decision not to pay, and then it went to an independant appeals service, in July and was passed. There was some delay because the DWP said they hadn't received notification from the appeals service, but eventually my son was paid. Because of my sons particular problem (contamination fears) I had to fill in the forms, which were quite lengthy. He was also having CBT at the time so the DWP sent a form to his psychiatrist, but I don't know whether a letter from your GP would do. He gets the lower level payment, however it does depend how debilitating your OCD is I suppose. Good luck

Hi Brainiac, thanks for your post.....I agree it is a scary situation to be in, I can only imagine how he must have felt - it would be a massive blow to anyone's confidence, to be "set-upon" for no apparent reason, by a complete stranger. I just tell him, when he allows me to that is, that not everyone is bad he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sue

Hi everyone, I suppose I've been in denial for the last week or so.......my son had been doing incredibly well......I had mistakenly been avoiding coming on the site, because selfishly I didn't want to remember how bad OCD can get..... My son went out with his friends the Friday before Christmas, he was waiting outside a pub for his friends (who had gone to the loo) a man he had never seen before knocked him to the floor and started hitting him around the head. He came home in a state, his shirt was torn, and he had marks on his face. He doesn't want to report the incident to the police, because he says he doesn't think he would recognise his attacker again, (the upset of reporting the incident would also send the OCD into overdrive). He hasn't been out very much since, and does not want to talk about it, or be reminded of it, because he is "dealing with it" in his head, and bringing it up again makes him feel bad. The incident has given full reign to OCD again...and he seems to have regressed. I know I just have to be patient, and in time, he will be able to manage it again, but it was such a blow. I am trying to be as supportive as I can without facilitating the OCD, but I can feel myself slipping into the abyss again. My son had been having CBT at the child and adolescent unit, he is too old now, and finished his sessions mid December. We were told that emotional upset or traumatic experiences could cause the OCD to worsen again, I just didn't think it would be so soon. Sue

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE........ Sue xxx

Hi Tangoblu, Hope you have a lovely break. Are the chat evenings starting up again. I haven't been on for a long while - things seemed to be getting "on top of me again", and apart from that haven't been able to get my turn on the PC either. Sue

Hello, Another oldie jumping in I'm afraid..... My son took his GCSE's in June this year, he had been struggling for a while with OCD, and found it hard to concentrate because of OCD thoughts and rituals he had to do to get rid of them. We finally had a meeting with the Headteacher and his Head of year and one or two other relevant members of staff. The outcome was he was given a lot of support in school, he could stay after school, stay in at dinnertime to catch up.....I know that doesn't sound very appealing, but he was also given a time-out card in case the OCD got so bad he needed to escape from the classroom (he never had to use this but I think it just eased the pressure, knowing he had a means of escape) We had monthly meetings with his Head of year because he feared at the beginning of the year that my son would fail all his GCSE's. This was all done in strictest confidence, only a limited number of teaching staff were made aware of the problem. I'm not saying it was easy but he did come through it, and I'm sure you can with the right support from school. I know its difficult, but if there is someone in school you could talk to about how the OCD is affecting your ability to do your work, I am sure the school would do everything they could to help you. Wishing you good luck and all the best Sue :original:

Hello Ruth and welcome to the forum, I thought your post was both sensitive and honest, your boyfriends ocd sounds similar to my sons....I empathise when you say its the small mundane stuff that irritates. I think if we are all honest about it, it is natural to feel both irritated and frustrated by ocd, it can be so illogical at times. My son has been having CBT (which is shortly about to end) and has improved a lot, so much so in fact that I almost (almost you understand) forget he has ocd, and I make mistakes, touch something I shouldn't. I found his ocd very difficult to handle when he was first diagnosed, so much so in fact I became very depressed myself, and had to have quite a long time off work, so I can appreciate your concerns, however from your post I get the impression that you are able to discuss the situation with your boyfriend, and he does seem to be aware of your difficulties with ocd. Moving in with someone can be stressful without the added complication of ocd, all you can do is carry on being honest and open with each other about it. Good luck to both of you Sue x p.s. there is a lot of information on this site, the more knowledge you have about ocd the better, there are several good books around too, although the ones I have are mainly in relation to parent and child relationships, I am sure someone on here will be able to recommend some books.

Hi Ricky, Hope you don't mind me joining in too.....I am a mum of a boy who was diagnosed with ocd last year. I can't remember what he said exactly when he first told me about his symtoms, however alarm bells began to ring with me and we went to see our GP. GP referred us to the local Child and adolescent unit.....looking back, before we got to see a therapist/psychiatrist, I did do a lot of reading on the internet......It was all very scary, and I remember wondering what I was going to do to help. My job had always been to "kiss things better" so to speak - no amount of kissing and hugging would get rid of this I felt helpless at times, and we had many times in the beginning when we would shout at each other - not because we were angry with each other, but because we were angry and frustrated with ocd, it ties you in knots doesn't it? I think what I'm trying to say (with some difficulty) is it may be that your parents are scared, and feel powerless to help you for the first time. Its not a good feeling our job is to protect and care for our children. When I told my mum about my son she said she thought he was doing it for attention Parents eh? Like Deb says if you explain to mum how she could help....you may make some progress. Fingers crossed! Sue

Hi all, I agree wholeheartedly with Andreas sentiments, the support on this site is amazing. :clapping: and as one of the replies says:- even close friends didn't understand....you have to live with it to fully understand....perhaps some extremely insiteful people understand, but in my experience they are few and far between. oh and by the way WELCOME Andrea! Sue x

Hi AJD, I was just reading thro this read.....and wanted to add my small contribution. My son and I are living proof that there is hope....this time last year my son had just been diagnosed (June actually, but I had my suspicions since February) we went to our GP who referred us to the child and adolescent unit, it was a couple of months before we saw anyone.....however once my son realised he wasn't "the only one" and that he wasn't "going mad", he wasn't as depressed. I was in the depths of despair for most of the time, and ended up having a few months off work to look after him - I was also "stressed out" for much of the time. I don't know exactly when things improved, I suppose it was a gradual process, and I can't really say that one thing was the answer, it has probably been a combination of things. Therapy, support from people who we thought might not be supportive, I also bought some Omega 3, 6 and 9 capsules because I had read somewhere they were good for depression, summer (easier to dry the laundry mountain) I look back to last year (what a nightmare) and can clearly see how things have improved....things may get worse again, but at least now we know there is relief from the monster that is ocd. I know how hard it is, but do try to find time for yourself as well....it does help. Hang on! Have courage, thinking of you and sending you a hug :original:

Hi Ruth, I'm strange too, I like being with my kids too.....not so much kids now tho' 16 and 19 and unfortunately they no longer need or want to spend as much time with me :dry: They have there own interests and circle of friends, although we do get to share some together time occasionally. Sue x

Hi folks, I found getting school involved helped a lot - my son had been in trouble a lot - mainly because he was perceived as behaving unreasonably, refusing simple commands etc., he would almost have a fit if anyone sat where he normally sat, if anyone touched his work, took his pen or any of his equipment, he would refuse to take his jumper off in school because he worried it would become contaminated and he wouldn't be able to put it on again. He really was under a lot of pressure because he didn't want anyone to know about the ocd, and he used to "explode" occasionally. As part of the support in school, he was given a time out card - which he could show to a teacher and be able to leave the class and go somewhere "safe". There were also several teachers who he could go and talk to or sit with if he felt the need. Once these things were in place his behaviour improved tremendously, and although he never used the time out card or needed to go and see the designated teachers it was enough just to have the support in place, in case he needed it. Well school holidays looming for most of you, so that will be one thing less to worry about. Sue x

Hi all, Yes Tracey it is a long and difficult road.......I have had a lot of support from people on this forum, and would often come on here when I felt in despair. There is always someone ready to give support or advice or just to listen (read your posts) if you just want to vent. We still have difficult days, however I am trying to have a more positive attitude, it is hard sometimes, but noone said it was ever going to be easy....... ocd is but with care and support it can be overcome Just want to wish Cate Ruth1 and everyone else struggling, well and good luck with the fight :a1_cheesygrin: Sue x

[Just popped in for an update on the CHAT ROOM situation didn't realise it was disabled. Sue

HI, Just a general chat.... Any night would be fine for me really. Yes I agree Harmony did a fantastic job.....has anyone heard from him lately. Sue

Hello everyone, Just wondered if the chat nights are still going.....and when the next one is likely to be Sue :original:

Hi Ruth, No I didn't mean I was concerned that the doctor thought it would improve with maturity. I was interested because he had said it could become worse with puberty, or improve with maturity. I wasn't aware my son had issues, (he did have quirky things I suppose, but don't we all?) until the onset of puberty, but like I explained on the other thread "ocd and puberty" I was looking for a "reason" mainly, and I suppose hoping that once he had gone through puberty the ocd would disappear as suddenly as it had appeared. I hadn't realised that my son had been having thoughts for a while, because he had been able to manage them pre puberty. In my sons case he said he began to notice it just before he was 15, it got unbearable when he was around 15 and half, now he is almost 17 and most of the time he manages it. We still have major problems with some things, but overall it is much better. He has had a huge growth spurt, and his voice seems to be breaking now. I still don't know what to think made the improvement, probably several contributory factors. I am coping with it better, he has left school (he thought school was a extremely "dirty place") and he has been having CBT for a year now, he was also worried that if we told his dad he would think he was strange, he didn't he was quite understanding. Also the fact that ocd was a recognised illness helped, once he knew he wasn't going mad, he started to improve. However I think the general opinion is, that ocd is made worse by stress, and kids are under a lot of stress around that age whether its through puberty or not. Sue I've just read thro all that.....I'm sure I've confused you even more.........

Hi Ruth, It was just a gut feeling really about the ocd and puberty thing......I suppose during any illness we need to know why we've got it, what causes it etc., etc. When my son was at his worst, I was constantly searching for reasons why. It could be that puberty is such a stressful time anyway (we all know how powerful the effects of hormones can be) puberty for my son coincided with the start of his GCSE's and a rather distressing incident with an older boy. He is a shy boy, self conscious, and not very confident, although he tends to hide this behind bravado. I didn't mean to suggest that puberty was to blame so to speak. I spoke to a doctor recently who said ocd was a kind of neurosis a reaction to anxiety, which does seem to make sense. Although noone seems to know "why" really do they? Maybe I was thinking "well, if its connected to puberty, once he's through puberty it will go". We all want it to disappear don't we? Sue

Hi Coincidentally I am in the process of appealing against a decision against my sons claim for DLA, we were denied for similar reasons. I give him at least 35hrs care a week, and he is also unable to make his own meals. My electricity bills have gone up tremendously (extra showers for longer periods of time, and extra washing, not to mention soap, antibacterial spray etc.,) It is very frustrating isn't it? I found the form very difficult to fill in, it seems to be geared more to a physical disability like a missing limb or mental impairment due to a mental illness or dementia wouldn't you agree. Good luck at the CAB. I hope you will let us all know how you get on. regards, Sue

Hi Ruth, Just reading this thread........I felt I could almost have written it myself. The way you describe your fears when the thought that your son may have ocd, seeing your GP, talking to school, etc., It took me a while to get the support my son needed in school, but we did finally succeed. Its amazing how much of a difference the right kind of support makes, talking to your GP, and your sons teachers, will be a big help I'm sure. I found the comment from your doctor, about the ocd being managed with maturity interesting.....I have always had a gut feeling that my sons ocd was made worse by the onset of puberty, I don't know if there is any medical evidence to support this, but as a mother I find I just get a feeling about these things sometimes. I noticed you replied to my post...........it is very difficult at times to watch as you said earlier I know exactly what you mean, it can be heartbreaking. Don't despair things do improve, I wouldn't have believed it myself a year ago, but they do! ocd is but there is always someone on here ready to help. I wish you and your son all the best. Sue

Hello everyone, Well not like me I know but I've got some good news :a1_cheesygrin: I had my appeal today and the panel overturned my employers decision to sack me, and I'm back at work on Thursday all being well. It's been a long and difficult time, waiting for the appeal and putting my case together, but I now feel I can get on with my life - I seem to have been in some kind of limbo for the past 11 weeks. In addition my son has improved a great deal, he still has counselling sessions but fortnightly instead of weekly. I just want to say to any new parents that there is hope, this time last year I was in complete despair, (many people on here will testify to that, I am sure) and although I did feel worse along the way, both my son and myself are now feeling more optimistic, and more able to cope with what ocd throws at us. There will probably be spells when the ocd gets worse, however at least now we know there is always light at the end of the tunnel and if we ride the storm it will get better again. May be now I'll be able to remember chat nights

Yes I'm a certain age.........heaven help me when I'm 70 I'll be repeating myself just like my gran used to

Hi everyone, Oh dear I forgot too..........my minds been elsewhere recently.......however I would still like to "chat" so I would be happy to go along with what the majority decided. Hope everyone is well, by the way Sue xx