ocpd

I hope i might perhaps be able to help Allah willing; as i have marked ocd issues (including contamination) as well as obssessive compulsive personality disorder with hyperresponsibilty. I am a medical practitioner who has failed in their career, almost stopped practicing, am almost broke now because of these 2 conditions as i am always afraid of doing a less than extremely perfect job for my patient. I find that we as ocd sufferers could surprisingly see other sufferers' problems for what they really are- just illusions- but could never see that in ourselves. so it is much more reassuring if another sufferer could label our problem as being just ocd, as sufferers have the same anxious personality to not be at risk. Usually they shouldnt miss out on a real threat if it exists. Therefore this would give weight to their opinion. Also their convictions and values would prevent them from just trying to reassure someone falsely i believe they cant just do it. you mentioned your worries about needing to be clean. I agree you and every human being should be keen on being clean. I cant overstate it. So what is "clean" ? perhaps you misdefined it and you should redefine the parameters of clean. But according to what should we define it? Whose parameters , who said your parameters are correct ?may be you are misguided by your mind. As a matter of fact media advice and society sometimes overdo it on cleanliness ads contrary to real medical facts. this fuels our ocd especially as we misinterpret their messages above that as well. So you should really work hard on what is the correct definition of "clean" and "dirty" first before acting; otherwise you will be fighting in the wrong direction . I mean do you want to be clean or sick- remember ocd is "sick". Should we be "clean" up to the point of falling into another more serious illness ? Is that what clean is about? If so perhaps we shouldnot be sickly clean, what will happen if we arent? We will fall sick of infectious diseases or what? We are very very sick already. At least infectious diseases have a rapid sure valid cure unlike our miserable illness. Dont tell me you prefer staying sick with ocd than catching infection or are you ? What is your opinion about this. You know, if ocd was the correct thing to choose then i would encouage and advise you to continue with it even if it ruins you completely even if it kills you. But if ocd is wrong then why should you be wrong why should you pursue a wrong path, you wanted to be clean to be correct after all. If you end up not being correctly clean then you are doing the opposite of what you want actually . So maybe you would first think should you be clean according to the correct definition of clean or according to a wrong false definition that was imposed into us by a liar (our brains) . Our brains are lying to us. Please work on answering this last question for now. Remember you just honestly wanted not to be dirty after all. I put my hope in Allah almighty that things get better soon. Thank you.

i feel exactly as you do. i am a medical doctor with ocd and i get your same feelings all the time , more seriously in my job. i believe i could help as i know EXACTLY how you were thinking at the moment of deciding to intend to cause an accident. i am not telling u to take the opinion of non ocd people as may be they wont care enough to analyse or wont understand us i wont tell you u u caused no harm, i wont tell you u didntintend to cause harm; i know you felt you intended to cause an accident; it is not a delusion u are not imaging feelings that u didnt have: however i can CONFIRM to you that this intention is an irresistible intrusion of OCD. how can i be so sure? well i get that repeatedly over the years and suffer greatly. reassurance seeking never stops. i cant help myself as i have poor insight (only ALLAH can cure me ) but ocdsufferers may help each other as when adressing someone elses problem we start to think near normally not being crippled by the crushing sense of anxiety fear and guilt. so rest assured that this is just what ocd inserted into ur mind to torture u , it is so clever at choosing the topic and timing. please dont worry a second, i just cant overemphasize how i get the mirror image of ur feelings, i feel i intended to do harm; so i can read your mind during the time of deliberately being slower to cause accident; it was not u it was the OCD it made u believe that u are a bit slow so as to cause harm the same happens with me it is just a flash secondwhen we feel we are out of control and find ourselves deliberately thinking and even acting out the harm. the good news for you is that this feeling is FALSE ocd puts it into ur mind then makes u believe it must be u;then ocd goes on to prove this lie to us by making u feel that slowing down is to cause an accident just another lie. you didnt even intend a split second to do harm remember i could read ur thoughts at that moment

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