Chels

I know that I should keep things to myself it’s silly things but I’m being so selfish by telling my partner. I scroll pay something on social media nothing in particular but because the name of the user looked similar to one I sometimes overthink about, I had to scroll back to check… it’s stupid I know that, why did I have to confess this!? I need to work harder on NOT confessing and just not worrying about thoughts in general! It is so hard! I am so much better than I ever was but still not where I want to be

@NotRock it’s so much easier said than done. I just feel like it will never go away

Hi, just wondering how long ‘obsessions’ last. I don’t like calling it an obsession as it isn’t actually something I’m obsessed with, completely the opposite to be honest! It’s just a random person, not even anything sexual etc just literally even the name or the person pictured in my head from my past who I didn’t care about but because I know my partner is bothered about or should I say was bothered about this event it sort of clings onto it, if this makes sense? Sort of like OCD is purposely trying to put it in my head to make me worry that I MUST tell my partner, but it’s been constant now for months and I’m starting to worry more. I have tried everything but not sure if this is normal for it to last for so long?

Just want to say I am in the same boat. I have confessed so much to my partner even when they didn’t want to know and now they sort of hold that against me as it hurt them. So iv made a rod for my own back. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to confess more, which makes me sound really selfish but honestly I’m not. The OCD is so strong sometimes I just have to say it. It’s awful, I do so well then sometimes it’s that bad I think they need to know as it could change whether or not they want to carry on the relationship with me and I need to give them that choice

Thank you for your reply @NotRock I appreciate your response but the fact your the only one that replied send my anxiety high once again. I understand what you are saying, I have had professional help previously in the way of CBT probably about 3 times now and it just doesn’t help me at all. I understand confessing is the problem and I have minimised this A LOT from previous.. but the same thought is still there no matter what. It’s driving me crazy. I have no one to turn to. I’m awaiting more CBT which personally I think won’t work, as it hasn’t before. I have come on this forum quite a few times and I don’t get much feedback or advice from anyone which is really disheartening

How is it so hard to not open your mouth!? How can it be so so difficult to do something that seems so easy!!! i know some of my thoughts aren’t bad but when I say then out loud to my partner they sound bad! And he gets mad (obviously)… I’m doing a lot better than I was previously but this has to stop. if I see a name that is similar to an ex partner I will panic but it’s only certain ex partners that I know my boyfriend would be annoyed at!! Then the panic sets in and I’m like I have to tell him then there’s this argument in my head to do it or not to do it. And the more I try to ignore I just can’t. Its hard enough at the moment as Iv had to same theme for months and it’s horrible. It’s totally spoilt my sex life. My walls are so so high because I just would rather not have sex if it’s going to cause me thoughts that I don’t want it’s torture all of this. I want to be better. I want to be normal and I want to be happy…

Iv suffered with OCD now for years and feel I did get better over last 3 years but studying has me under pressure and stressed and feel this is making my OCD worse again. Lately I can’t stop analysing everything, past events that didn’t bother me at the time are popping into my head (sometimes I don’t even know if there real or made up!) and I over analyse them to the point I just want to sleep all day to block it out, then I wake up sweating as I’m obviously worrying whilst asleep, and it’s just a vicious circle. I want to go outside, walk, exercise but I don’t. I hide away eat too much and worry more. I need to STOP. It’s so difficult I’m torturing myself everyday

This video has been really informative and helpful for me today, I really needed to see this. I wish there was a magic switch that could make it happen in an instant. Iv struggled with OCD for years now, NHS services in my experience haven’t helped. I feel the therapists I have encountered haven’t understood OCD, so I have never really had my problem fully ‘sorted’. Iv sought help myself from various forums, reading books, other peoples experiences to understand that what I have is OCD, over the years I have been able to work on thoughts myself and over the last 3 years feel I have saw light at the end of the tunnel, managed to keep things to myself more, ignore the thoughts etc. I’m currently studying and in my final year so really struggling with pressure, stress etc and feel it is getting worse, back to what it used to be- where I don’t want to go as it was a very dark hole I was in. I want it stopping before it gets worse. It’s affecting my relationship, it’s driving my partner crazy that I keep confessing. It’s driving a wedge between us. I just want to get better but feel I am burying my head in the sand, don’t want to leave the house or do anything productive. This isn’t me, I’m a funny outgoing active person. I am a good person but OCD is making me feel bad, analysing my every move, my every thought. It’s driving me insane . I hope I can use this video to help me out of this. Thanks again

The recurring thoughts mostly but I’m studying at the moment so a lot of pressure from that too

I am absolutely riddled with anxiety at the moment due to my OCD, I am worrying about every mortal thing, Im convincing myself I have searched for men on my social media- when I know I haven’t ! And I am convincing myself im going to say the wrong name when I say my partners name. I’m also getting the same person in my head - it’s not sexual it’s not someone I am bothered about at all but even the thought/name in my head is not going away. It’s just there constantly I leave it but it doesn’t actually go away . I can’t live my life like this forever. I hve never felt this low in a very long time now, and I’m getting worried that I’m heading down the same black hole

I keep getting thoughts about same people and I can just ignore them but it’s at a point im sick of them appearing like they mean something when they don’t. I just feel like will this be me forever? Do I accept they may just be there every morning ?. The thing that gets to me the most is that the thoughts are regarding things that would make my boyfriend upset/angry. So they make me upset as if I told him he would be upset and not understand why I’m getting these if they don’t mean anything. I know they don’t and I know I don’t want them there but I just can’t help after having them repeat for so long wondering when they will leave me alone. This disorder is so draining ?. I’m trying to ignore them- get on with my day, I know they are meaningless but it’s not just enough. I’m being tortured everyday by them ?. Any advice would be hugely appreciated

I’m not sure what’s happening to me. I seem to have got my intrusive sexual thoughts under control (no confessing/worrying) but something else seems to have taken over. I have zero interest in sex, I am NEVER horny. I have a boyfriend I love and fancy him. But my libido is non existent, I’m only in my 20’s and this has been ongoing over 6 months! Its got to the point I am analysing sex now, I feel numb during oral sex, I used to love it. My partner is saying I mustn’t love him, but I do! I really do and I just want some feeling back! I’m so sad and worried. Nothing is ever straight forward. He’s blaming himself, as I can pretend to be enjoying it anymore when I feel nothing, why!? I don’t fancy anyone else, at all. Have no intentions for anyone but him. I’m at university so a lot of stress and pressure. I have also gained weight and hate myself! So not sure if this can add to all of this. I have no where else to go to talk about this and the internet just tells me my relationship is at the end!!! ?

I’m not quite sure why I’m on here. Or if this is even OCD related. I have suffered from OCD previously, quite a lot. But this relationship I feel lately (we’ve been together for 2 years almost)we are just bickering constantly, over the silliest things I’ll say one thing and I feel like he purposely disagrees or says the complete opposite. Every time there is a special occasion we just seem to spoil it by arguing over silly things. He’s started to turn into a different person in drink, my mum was an alcoholic and died when she was young, I feel every time he drinks he binges, he can just have a ‘few’ it’s drinking wine from the bottle getting so drunk that’s the aim for him. He turns weird, quite abusive in the way he is and things he says and I feel like I’m walking on egg shells. Don’t get me wrong I’m not perfect, I feel like I don’t give him what he wants cause I’m never ever horny, down to my OCD and intrusive thoughts and anti-depressants don’t help. But I do love him, but I feel this could get VERY toxic if this isn’t the end. I have told him how I feel, it just turns into a bicker or he just simply says ‘well we will end it’ and I just think that’s quite childish really. We’ve tried working on it (apparently) I just feel so sad. Iv came down and lay on the sofa to sleep after we’ve just had a conversation about breaking up and he’s sitting snoring not a care in the world. I’m upset that this could potentially be the end of what was a great relationship ?. I just don’t even know what to do. None of my friends or family have a clue that I feel this way, they think it’s the perfect relationship.

Hi @cashewnutsandraisinsthanks for your reply. It is helpful. I do think that is a huge part of it to be honest. It’s always on my mind. The fact that I should be more horny but I am not. But even when I am in the mood I just put it off or try not to do it. It’s really distressing actually. Then when I do it I actually do really enjoy it and think why didn’t I just do it? But then I start analysing the sex. There’s just no end to it. We’ve only been together a year and a bit so it should still be there and it was very much in the beginning nothing has changed I still think he’s beautiful and sexy it’s just me. But it obviously gets to him too, although he does try to understand x

Hi, I have been on citalopram for 5-6 years now 20mg. My doctor is going to change me to sertraline to see if it helps with my low libido. Has anyone done this switch previously? I’m so worried I’ll get side effects like I did when starting citalopram for the first time. Alternatively anyone offer any help/advice on how to improve my libido? It’s totally not present at all. I’m only 27 years old

Always ruined relationships due to confessing EVERYTHING usually my past, sexual past etc for some reason I am obsessed with talking about my past. Cause I am so disgusted in it to be honest and i hate it. I just can’t seem to stop fully. Every relationship I get in I worry about the beginning of that relationship when it wasn’t serious and I panic thinking I have said something wrong and I confess. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stay in a long term relationship as I don’t think a man would be able to cope with me/my confessing and I truly believe I can’t fully stop ?, this upsets me. I have changed a LOT in regards to my OCD and i have control of it most of the time now I can recognise certain triggers and I can help myself. But I don’t think any man is going to cope with the things that come out of my mouth

Thank you Gemma

So Iv totally lost my sex drive, I am in a relationship have been for just over a year. The relationship OCD is starting (sorry for using the name) and I’m picking out flaws, just not very affectionate. Convincing myself I don’t love him when I do but then analysing it like is it enough is it love love. I don’t even know at some times in my head what’s real and what isn’t. I just don’t know why I don’t want sex. I feel numb in the sex sense. I just feel like I make it awkward. Analysing if it’s good if it’s the best. I can’t deal with this anymore I don’t know what to do... Iv ignored it and ignored it. But I feel my boyfriend annoys me, sometimes the way he goes on really boils my blood and just isn’t me, it isn’t bad just he goes on like a teacher sometimes and I just hate it and I feel like I put myself off him because of it

@skans100 hi, I just want to say this was me at the age of 10/12 maybe even younger and I am now 27 and have OCD I would definitely seek your daughter help as my mum didn’t and I feel it made me worse! X

Just a quick bit of background Iv had OCD since young I’m now late 20’s I never got any treatment for it since I was approximately 21 I didn’t know what I had was OCD. I had intrusive thoughts throughout School mostly sexual or nasty about other people’s looks. I had to confess them all. I had CBT twice the second time round was a lot more useful than the first and the last CBT was a few years ago (maybe 2-3). My OCD these days spikes when im in a relationship, I have made mistakes I am not proud of when young mostly sexual encounters I regret. This really gets me down and it’s something that I hate myself for. It’s something that is always in my head. This is something i confess to partners. I also have had ROCD where I convince myself I don’t love my partner/am not attracted to them/compare them to others/intrusive thoughts about others during sex etc etc. All of these I MUST confess. Don’t get me wrong since my first relationship I am A LOT better at not confessing. I have ruined relationships because of my OCD and confessing. They end up hating me. now I’m in an ‘adult’ relationship and I have never been so content. I am genuinely so happy. I lost a parent at 21 and since then have struggled but since started university which I am really enjoying and found this man who honestly I can’t fault him. It started well I kept it all from him (I did tell him I had OCD and gave him a little background) now bit by bit over this last year I have managed to tell him A LOT of my past sexual history, things he shouldn’t know, because I got intrusive thoughts and confessed. He told me time and time again STOP telling me. It’s at the point now, I think he is resenting me. I’m making him angry, I don’t want to do that I love the man. Apparently he says I’m not showing him much affection and I’m picking out his flaws, I feel awful he’s beautiful I love him so much and this is from the HEART. I want to marry and have my first child with him. I never wanted to make him feel this way or for this to happen. He’s taken a few days to think, which I understand but I am heartbroken. I’m annoyed with myself. Am I destined to be alone? He thinks this is a cycle that will never stop, and I can’t say it will or won’t. But I am desperate for it to stop someone please help me, I don’t want to lose the only thing that’s ever went right in my life... ?

I’m so upset. My heart feels hurt, a physical pain. I have a confessing obsession, it’s taken over my life since I was young, it ruins everything good I have. I have confessed A LOT to my partner about my past (boyfriend/sexual encounters) because I feel so bad about it and regret it so much and feel Iv made quite a few mistakes growing up. It really gets to me (my past) and I worry he finds out someone I have slept with etc so I just verbal diarrhoea to be honest. It’s awful I wish I didn’t but I’m just not able to stop! Now it’s got to the point I think the thoughts he has in his head of my past and what Iv done (even though he told me not to tell him) and he’s in a mood, thinking... I don’t think it’s looking good I can’t deal with anymore heartache. Iv ruined this myself, I know that

Thank you so much for everyone replies. My mother was an alcoholic and passed away so I definitely would never drink to takeaway any problems I have (including OCD) it’s usually for social gatherings or if I see my friends, but I do think I should minimise it. It does me no good, yes I have a good time at the time but it’s not worth the overthinking the next day, the fear that Iv said something or done something so bad. It’s just an awful feeling, if not wanted to get out of bed for days with worry. I would absolutely love to stop drinking completely I just don’t think I could commit to it. I did sober october and felt 100% better for it physically and mentally. I think if I promise myself only once in a blue moon that may work better for me. Thanks everyone really appreciate it

@Roopoo47 yeah confessing to my partner, it always seems to pick on the ones/things I love the most

Not sure if this is something everyone suffers from but every time I drink, the next day I always convince myself that I have said something I shouldn’t/spoke about another male etc. For some reason I was scrolling through my social media and there was a male on there who I couldn’t recall accepting as a friend. I remember them adding me but that’s it. I wondered if I had clicked on accept by mistake when drunk but it’s really freaked me out. It’s make everything 10x worse. I could say I won’t drink alcohol again but I know that won’t happen.

@MindMatters hi, I’m so sorry to hear you are suffering, this is textbook OCD I have had these thoughts exactly the same, multiple times, the groinal response has accompanied them as well. It’s awful. I’m currently going through a really bad time with overthinking constantly thinking I have done something wrong/said the wrong thing, it is causing problems in my relationship and I know if I don’t stop I could risk losing it all. It’s so hard. I just wish I was normal It spoils everything good. Anyway I hope your okay !