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  1. Hi Closed for Repairs, I know you're right. Of course this isn't my neighbours issue, I think the problem is OCD causes ridiculous over reactions to minor situations - this is case in point. I have a lack of affinity for bright lights, always have had I think therefore in this case I've zero'd in on the neighbours light as a huge issue (to me) and have become obsessed over whether it is on or not & for how long. I haven't approached neighbour again as yet as my wife has the same mind set as you, I don't want to annoy her so try to cope as best as I can. My brain has essentially made this much, much more important than it is so it has become my focus - that's OCD for ya! I know when I have something I am totally obsessed with I have to have a successful resolution for myself, this can manifest in many ways, for example when working on projects at work or "fixing" situations I find inconsiderate. It is exhausting. When I last saw a therapist she stated I was "over considerate" and essentially expected everyone else to behave the same, obviously the world doesn't work like this so I struggle with this. As you rightly say try to "live and let live". I think the best I can do is try to treat this as it is, normal neighbourly behaviour. I've always tried to work on taking the importance out of situations my OCD brain has decided deserve my time so to normalize them somewhat. Thanks for taking time to respond. I think a lot of the time having a rational opinion to an irrational situation can help you see it for what it is.
  2. Hi everyone, I've been having a very odd experience over the last few years (around 5-6) since moving into our current home. Our next door neighbor has an outside light that faces our house as we are side by side and as older properties our kitchen/back doors face each other. We also have smaller side windows in our lounge, dining room and master bedroom that face our neighbors house. Our neighbor runs a business from home and has an outside office and frequently leaves this light on whilst working (I assume so he can see when going back into his house) but it seems to shine in each of our rooms downstairs and our bedroom, admittedly we do have blinds on all windows etc. & you can't see the light shining in the house aside from the kitchen (directly opposite) but I know it is one and I obsess on it until such time the light is off. This is usually between 7-8pm. It doesn't affect or bother my wife but I get a huge spike in anxiety when the light is on. I've spoken with the neighbor on several occasions and to be fair it is not on that often (twice in the last 2-3 weeks). I get so obsessed and anxious that I am trying to convince my wife to move house, I know there are things we could do to minimize the impact but I get so annoyed that I can't think straight whilst the light is on. I am feeling anxious now just writing this down...However I do make it worse for myself by checking every 30 minutes that the light is on. I also have a feeling that next door keeps it on just to annoy me (which as they are very nice "normal" people I'd doubt would be the case) and I can't seem to let go of this...hence the obsession... Has anyone else experienced something possibly quite normal and mundane that just seems to blow your mind? I really struggle with over stimulation and lights is a massive trigger for me. I'm really at a loss as what to do, I take citalopram daily but this has no affect here, I've tried to ignore it but always seem to catch site of it via a crack in a blind etc. and if it is on when I pull up from work I know the entire night is a wash out. I feel annoyed for my wife as it doesn't bother her but causes me to be very quiet and annoyed; it really is **** to be so upset over a small outside light but it runs my life in the winter months when I know it'll be on...any advice on this would be massively appreciated.
  3. Hi all, I've had OCD now for as long as I can remember and it is usually more POCD than outward compulsions etc. Over the years I've learnt to manage a large amount of the ongoing issues and have started to feel more comfortable with what's going on. However over the last 3-5 years I've noticed that I have huge spikes (usually started with bouts of anxiety) over what I guess would be considered "normal" situations and occurrences. One ongoing example is our next door neighbor has an outside light above their back door; this faces our house and when the light is on it shines into all of our downstairs rooms (we have an older property with 'side windows' that face our neighbor's house). The light isn't usually on for too long but as soon as I notice it I am constantly on edge and will spend every 5-10 minutes checking it from the kitchen. I noticed last night small beams of light coming under our blind in the kitchen and through the frosted glass on our kitchen door (both of which directly face said light) and this aggravated me to the point I knocked on my neighbors door asking them to switch it off. My neighbor was a little annoyed by this and as soon as I got back inside I felt awful for going round. I spoke with my wife who confirmed it wasn't actually annoying to her and the light wasn't on all night or when we are in bed but I cannot seem to let it go!? I think the situations that annoy me seem to be where I feel people are being inconsiderate to others, the neighbors light is inconsiderate to me therefore annoys me...I think this may well be about control. I cannot control the neighbor having the light on or how long it is on for...other scenarios include other people's noise e.g. music or loud voices. Its been put to me that I may have misophonia but I'm thinking it may just be me being overly sensitive (especially the light issue). I'm wondering if anyone else has issues like this that aren't really obvious OCD issues but still cause huge anxiety and panic?
  4. Hi both, thanks for the replies. I think, Anon it is a similar vein to what you have written in that it is not the lights per se that cause the anxiety; it seems to be a link to what I deem to be inconsiderate to others. For example I find loud music from neighbours annoying too as it feels as if my space is being invaded by something outside my control! I then seem to ruminate on "why" my neighbours feel the need to behave in such an awful way I kind of know when this started too, we had a neighbour next door in our first house who enjoyed loud, terrible dance music most days. After a month or so I became quite ill prior to returning home to work which was, as I know now anxiety over what was to come! Since those heady days I have had an intolerance to people who I believe are inconsiderate to others / others needs. This can manifest itself wherever I am i.e. if I see someone in town behaving this way I am inclined to speak out (much to the chagrin of my Wife!!). I will then spend hours going over and over these situations in my mind to see if I can come to some sort of conclusion as to why that person behaved as they did; obviously I never get to the required conclusion which drives me even more round the bend. I'm now booked into see my doctor and will be asking to speak to a therapist etc. as I can't go on like this - I need some breathing space to allow me to enjoy life once more and ensure I don't miss anymore of my two daughter's "growing up" years
  5. Hi all, I've been a long time reader of this forum ( under a "guest" account ) and have been through several episodes of varying forms of OCD; my last major spike was some 4 or so years back and revolved around thoughts / fears over my ( at the time ) baby daughter. Through a combination of CBT and bloody hard-work things seems to have improved hugely over the past few years. However over the last couple of months I've become increasingly annoyed / stressed / anxious over our neighbors near a property we have, as a family for just over one year. To be fair our neighbors are, on the whole really nice,normal people. It just seems that any little thing they do that I feel is "annoying" really gets me in a state! For example the neighbor to our side has an outside light that shines into several of our rooms, the light was left on one evening until 19:30 and I had a mini panic attack - about the light being even though I could not see it in the main lounge! I ended up speaking with this neighbor who agreed to keep the light off when not in use. I've now noticed another outside light on a neighbors house that backs onto ours...and again I'm in pieces...even though it can only be seen if I look hard through the trees that separate our gardens... I'm at a loss what to do! These lights don't bother any other member of my family and my wife was upset that I'd asked our neighbor to shut off their lights. I just find OCD bizarre in this way, I'm completely floored by something so "small" and in reality could even fit a blind to our kitchen window to block out any light...it's almost the fact that I know the light is on that is causing my issues...My wife ( who has been amazing throughout all of my issues ) has suggested I visit my GP and have a chat with her; maybe look to speak with a therapist or similar. I'm just not sure what I can do over such an odd spike! Has anyone else noted such bizarre causes to OCD spikes and if so how do you go about combating them!? At this point any advice that can be provided would be most welcomed... Thanks, GoGoCardigan
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