NJ321

Does this sound like OCD or something else?

I'm having a really difficult time today. I went to the doctor before & they checked my blood pressure but as the girl put the device on my arm she had to move her hand in a way where it was kind of near my groin area since I was sitting in a chair. As she moved her hand it felt like the feeling I had in my mind was like I enjoyed it. Now I can't stop thinking about it wondering why I had that feeling in the moment. I try not to come on here to post anymore but sometimes it just gets me really bad where I can't tell if I actually enjoyed it for real or not. The in the moment feelings just feel way different than the aftermath of certain situations where I than start to stress out bad.

I feel this could have been avoided if it wasn't for my car tires screeching. But today as I was waiting to make a turn I was getting annoyed due to how many cars kept coming by & I saw a car behind me waiting to turn as well. As I was making the turn my tires screeched I guess due to the wet road since it rained earlier & in the moment it felt like I wanted the car behind me to hit me. In my mind I was thinking they were annoyed with having to wait behind me & in thinking like they wanted me to rush. But my issue is that it really felt like I wanted them to hit me as my tires screeched. I don't know if that's OCD or not if it felt like I actually wanted them to hit me.

Does what I describe sound like OCD? It’s hard for me to get over this. I feel like I wanted them to bump into me & I moved even though it felt like I genuinely didn’t want to in the moment. I don’t know what to think.

It just genuinely felt like I wanted the kid to bump into me & I feel I almost didn’t move out of the way & felt like I genuinely didn’t want to even if I did. I feel I didn’t move fast enough out of the way either. Now I can’t stop thinking about it. I was doing better today but now I’m just stressed out again about this.

I just can't get over this since in my mind it felt like I didn't want to move even though I did. But it felt like I moved my legs slower than I should have to get out of the way & I could have bumped into the kid possibly. I just don't know why I felt like I did in the moment. I'm not sure what to think.

This is just bad. I don’t know how I’m going to get over this due to the entire situation. Why did it feel like in my mind I didn’t want to move even though I did but it felt like I moved slower than I should have.

As I was leaving work today I was near the exit but as I was leaving though there was a group of people that I was going to pass but than decided to wait for them to go through first to not just rush right in front of them. But than there was some woman with I guess her kid walking by near me on my other side. I feel like in the moment I wanted the kid to bump into me & at the last second I moved but I feel I didn't move fast enough with my movement. It felt like in the moment I wanted it to happen & I feel like I didn't move my legs quick enough due to it feeling like in the moment I wanted the kid to bump into me. Now I can't stop thinking about it since I feel I should have moved faster to get out of the way but I feel due to how I felt in the moment I didn't move quick enough even though I did move. It felt like I didn't want to move even though I did & I feel I didn't do it quick. I don't know what to think of this now.

I can’t get this out of my head. I don’t know how to stop thinking about it.

The other day I was walking my dog & as I was walking back in the direction to my house I saw a mail truck parked on the right where it was a bit harder to see if cars were coming but I remember I saw the mail person walking in my direction & my dog went by the curb to want to go across the street where the house is but I can't remember now if I looked to the right to see if any cars were coming or not due to paying attention to the mail person walking my way as we were going to cross the street. Now my mind is racing all day about it since if I didn't look we could have got hit & I can't stop thinking about it now.

I’m stressing out bad right now over something that happened the other night at work. A woman with her kid came up to where I was & when I first saw the kid she smiled at me & I thought she was cute. Then I had odd feelings like I found her attractive. It felt really weird in my mind like it was actual real attraction. Then during these feelings as I was moving to the left behind the counter where I was I felt like I was moving due to wanting something inappropriate to happen or something due to how I felt in the moment. I don’t know why I moved the way I did & while feeling like I did in the moment & the thoughts going on. I’m stressing out due to my movement & the way I felt & I can’t get it out of my head now. I tried my hardest not to post about it but it’s bothering me a lot.

The other day I had to go out somewhere & another awful incident happened again. My issue this time is that I was sitting down at the place I was at waiting for my appointment but when they called for me as I got up I had another situation where it didn't feel like OCD at all in the moment. I got up & the person that was waiting on me had to go in my direction for something but I had a thought in the moment like I wanted them to touch me in an inappropriate place. I feel like I froze up at first like in my mind I was waiting for them to walk near or past me but than I finally just kept walking. As I walked right past them I remember my mind told me to stop & the feeling was extremely strong to do it but I just kept walking past them. I just don't understand why in the moment it feels like I legit want what I'm feeling & it doesn't feel like OCD until after where I stress out beyond belief. I still don't understand why there's times where I already know it's OCD & I can move right past it fairly quick. Than there's other times it feels like it's something I genuinely want in the moment & like I can act on it or feel like I'm going to or wonder why I had certain reactions or movements like I'm reacting in a way that feels like I'm acting on the thought in the moment. That pause in not moving while feeling like I genuinely wanted something to happen is what's causing me so much stress.

A few days ago I went into work with my mind not feeling right where it’s like I had no control over how I felt mentally with just a weird feeling inside my head with not caring about any thought. I don’t know how else to explain it. As I was walking a bit while feeling like this I heard kids from behind me nearby. My issue is as I was walking I feel like I took a weird step forward with my one foot where it feels like maybe my butt was sticking out for a brief second. Now I can’t stop thinking about if something could have happened due to that step forward I did in the moment. I don’t remember if I did it due to a thought or just if I did it due to some reason in general as I was walking. I just remember when I made that movement I was wondering why i took a step like that & if I was acting on a thought due to the kids behind me now I can’t stop thinking about it.

I think you might be thinking of someone else with those themes. I had something involving my parents' house for awhile that made my situation worse but nothing to do with contractors. Also I don't live in an unsafe neighborhood or had a theme with a T-shirt touching the toilet. The job you're right about since I was unemployed for awhile but got a job & have had the same one since.

I just don't understand why I would stop grabbing the receipt in the moment where it's like my brain told me to due to my mind telling me to while having the thoughts. It makes me feel like I acted on it still.

I just feel like I acted on the thought due to not grabbing the receipt while I had that thought. And I see a psychiatrist but I don't really talk about intrusive thoughts with them. It's just difficult & embarrassing since they might take things the wrong way. I talk more so about anxiety & depression. It's just really hard to talk about intrusive thoughts especially if they don't specifically specialize in OCD.

None of my thoughts relate to anything that has happened to me in my personal life. I've had multiple themes of intrusive thoughts over the years that change or are mixed together at one time.

I just can't get over that I actually acted on the thought though due to the way I acted in the moment. I feel like my intrusive thought could have actually happened due to not grabbing the receipt as it was coming out of the machine. It's like I had it grabbed than I stopped grabbing it due to my thought & the feeling inside my head. I can't explain why I would act that way.

I guess I should clarify I didn't have the thought of physically wanting to touch the kid but having the thought of wanting the receipt to touch them in an inappropriate place. I feel like I acted on the thought due to the way I was holding the receipt at first than let go of it as it was coming out.

I didn’t grab anyone but I was having intrusive thoughts when I let go of the receipt when the kid was near that area. It felt like in the moment I wanted the receipt to touch them inappropriately & I didn’t hold on to it. I don’t know what to think.

I’m so stressed over this since it really feels like I acted on the thought. I grabbed the receipt but than something in my mind told me to stop grabbing it or not holding on to it properly while having those thoughts & feelings.

Why would my mind make me stop grabbing the receipt & having a thought like that though with like I wanted something bad like that to happen. It feels like I acted due to the way I was feeling in the moment. Like I've said there's sometimes where it doesn't feel like OCD in any way whatsoever. Than there's times I know right away it is & it might bother me a bit but I know for sure it is.

I was at work today & I was helping a customer that had a kid with them & as the receipt for what they bought was printing I let go of it or didn't hold on to it properly due to how I was feeling in the moment & felt like in my mind I wanted it to touch the kid in I guess an inappropriate place. I acted on a thought & I can't get it out of my head now.

Yeah, there's times where I can't tell if it's OCD or not & that's the times when it's the worst. I think I have a chemical imbalance of sorts in my brain which causes the depression/OCD.

I just feel like I acted since the clothes moved towards the kid when I grabbed the other merchandise while at the same time having the intrusive thoughts & I didn’t stop the clothes from moving towards the kid. It feels like I acted on it.