misspixielou

Thankyou, past few days it's been more focussed on am I happy? now it's back to this. my partner said it's all in your mind, nothing happened and now i feel like I need to explain in more detail so he understands...which is just silly and embarrassing ?. I think I was starting to get a grip on it then my minds analysing conversations I had with this guy and I wish I hadn't said half the stuff I did. Im at home with the little one but counting down the hours to go to bed when my partner comes home as I feel exhausted from the constant anxiety and rumination. Thankyou for your help, I know you are right, the ocd goggles make everything feel unbearable and dark...all of my themes focus on guilt and being a bad person so it's having a field day with this. I Have been on the increased meds 2 weeks now so hopefully it should begin to settle . I do hope they allow me to have more cbt to get myself back on track my family are so frustrated as they said they feel powerless and keep reminding me that this isn't healthy for my little one

I put a topic on last week about me flirting on and off with a mutual friend of mine and my partners, when this guy was really blunt I said no nothing could happen ( i also have a 2 year old) my urges are to confess and seek reassurance I just can't stop crying today, it's out of control...i told my bf I'd been flirting but it keeps saying u need to tell him EVERYTHING which I don't want to do...but i feel like he deserves someone better than me who wouldn't do that I rang doctors earlier and have asked to go back to CBT...im not functioning and I have a feeling I'm about to totally ruin mine, my partners and child's life completely by confessing these things ( my partner has ptsd) isn't well himself....i absolutely hate myself...i feel like I want to sleep and not wake up my partner has been so supportive and amazing with my ocd themes in the past, I feel so alone with this I just can't get a grip on this feeling, I have said I'm leaving twice ... we do have issues as every 6 year relationship does but I can't see how I can move on from this. I'm so scared

Does anyone else find their anxiety levels are super high as soon as they wake up? I wake up with panic and my brain instantly starts ruminating. I also dream about the theme my ocd has latched onto ? so wake with awful guilt/panic/need relief feelings x

Even though I have been through years of therapy, diagnosed with ocd and know I have had many relapses I still always doubt it.... Thats the ocd making you doubt you have ocd if that makes sense?

Hi everyone, I recently had a big ocd flare up after flirting and fantasizing about a man who I did fancy and find attractive. I told this guy if i wasnt in a committed relationship things could be different and I do like him .... this guy was relentless.carried on messaging, flirting but then when he bluntly asked me to have an affair ( no jokes or banter he was serious) I said no! that will not happen and ive cut contact. I loved the attention and i do think it was a distraction to certain issues in my relationship.... BUT now my ocd has took all of this and turned it Into me now actually thinking I need to break up with my partner, I've confessed flirting but managed to stop these compulsions of constantly keep confessing as I realise these are compulsions and make me feel better for a short while then I need to confess more which is just damaging in itself. Now 24 hours a day im anaylsing how i feel, my heads saying you can't love him if u found someone else attractive and enjoyed the flirt, I'm checking on Google a lot about relationship things. we have a 2 year old and about 6 months ago were talking about another baby which I did want....now i don't know if I'm happy, I don't know if I love him, I've said I'm leaving twice in tears to try and rid this feeling. He has ptsd and is struggling so badly himself, he doesn't need this. Im trying to tell myself that all relationships have problems and it's normal but seriously my mind is actually wrecking my family right now......i feel numb...im dreading having any intimacy..... i had rocd in past in a relationship which I did end after 5 years (2 years of that was exactly the same rocd and I had therapy) and felt huge relief once I left but in honesty my rocd did a hell of a lot of damage to the relationship with me confessing and constantly looking for flaws and testing myself...we became distant and he found a lot of my notes about thoughts about him which must have been painful. I cannot believe I've let this guy who tried to come into my life cause this much trouble in my mind ? I feel so much guilt, I just cry when I look at my little boy x

now my mind is on the fact that I fantasized about this guy during sex with my partner and fantasized a lot a about him. me and my partner did have a talk yesterday as I do know I'm not 100% happy in the relationship as we've been through a hell of a lot and it's reached a level where we need to reignite that spark. However I'm racked with guilt....tried to be intimate with my partner and said to my self u can't think of that guy and I ended up having to stop...i think it was more because I was anxious and couldn't relax ? I love my partner so much and he is goin through such a hard time at the moment and now here's me having this awful guilt and punishing myself. I even checked on Google if it's normal...some said yes some said it shows problems x

I am so sorry to hear you feel so alone with this. You are not alone, we all understand what you are facing and are here to support you. The first step is to contact your doctors surgery and make those first steps towards receiving the treatment you deserve and can greatly improve your situation. Can you call your doctors surgery and request a call from your doctor to talk about your situation and how you feel about going into the surgery. They should hopefully refer you to the people who can help you to get better. you really don't need to face this alone or be ashamed xxx

Yes totally agree. cbt is the best treatment. I have had a lot of cbd and I'm looking for something to help me with those massive anxiety spikes when I'm desperately attempting not to do a compulsion. I recently lowered off my medication which i think has caused this relapse. Medication has now been increased again, but I need a short term aid when the anxiety becomes crippling which it is at the moment. I'm also trying to put into practice the tools I learned in CBT as it was very beneficial xxxx

Thankyou so much everyone for your replies. I am fighting carrying out these confessions as those themselves are just feeding this cycle. Thankyou for your support, it means so much in these dark times xxx

Yes I have read some very positive study results and it's helped people due it's calming properties, I will keep you all posted

Yes I will keep you all posted on this xxx

I have been taking diazepam during this very severe ocd relapse for the physical symptoms of anxiety ( being sick, sweating pacing, crying and the usual physical sensations) the doctor said he doesn't want me to become reliant upon diazepam as its addictive so this is my last prescription. I thought cbd may help in those times when the physical sensations of anxiety stop me functioning as they're lately x

I have read online about it helping people with their anxiety in a lot of cases so I thought I would give it a try

yes I am on fluoxetine and diazepam short term ( they gave me 7) but I want to stop the diazepam and use the cbd instead I will be sure to check with my doctor though to double check it will be ok. Thankyou xxx

Hi everyone, I have ordered 2 bottles of cbd ( cannabis oil) from Holland barret online and I wondered if anyone had any positive results from using this for anxiety/ ocd symptoms? I am waiting for mine to arrive at the moment xxx