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Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    Mainly Pure-O. False memories are tough.

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    Endurance training (cycling), training, psychology, music, reading, writing on forums, neuroscience (free will), nutrition and so much more.

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  1. OCDhavenobrain

    Can't cope anymore.

    Good of you to contact the therapist. I really hope you with the help of her/him can find the strength to make a change before it gets out of hand. You are still living the life to some extent, you have a partner and you are working. That is great. But also be aware of how this can go out of control if you let it. So please take it as serious as you can and go through with the therapist.
  2. OCDhavenobrain

    Can't cope anymore.

    Nobody can be sure. What we are saying is that you seems to have OCD, or you have OCD. And OCD is capable of twisting pretty much anything, so you need to get this out of the way before you can judge if this event really did happen. But you are right, we can't know.
  3. OCDhavenobrain

    Car sexy time contamination. Help!!

    This is important realisation. A good therapist will understand that, and one i contacted here lately told me that "you can be OCD about everything". On the other hand we hand doctors who STILL thinks that OCD is just when you have such and such obsessions, washing your hands and so on. And that makes him/her a very bad expert on OCD. But yea OCD can latch onto everything, it would be strange otherwise. We fear and our mind have the motivation to protect us from dangers, so if the mind only could protect us from some specific areas it would be strange.
  4. OCDhavenobrain

    Can't cope anymore.

    Its good you are going back to yoyr therapis. You need it. Like i said before this isyour priority now. I dont want to scare you but OCD have a tendency to obly getting worse if not challenged
  5. OCDhavenobrain

    Can't cope anymore.

    A new day, another chance to resist. Just wanted to say that.
  6. OCDhavenobrain

    OCD with no cognitive meaning

    This was my problem for the majority of my life. I couldn't make the connection between compulsions and anxiety. Everybody who spoke about OCD always said that compulsions are done because of anxiety, well i know how anxiety feels but i couldn't see the connection to what i am doing. I still have some problems with this. Even if i now have accepted that i can also be a feeling of unease. And it is possible that we are so familiar to all of this, so used to anxiety that we don't see it. No matter what the case is in my situation i wouldn't advice anyone to get to stuck up in trying to search after the connection. Maybe i do not need to tell you this but it can also get obsessive very quickly, i have been very obsessed about trying to find the connection between specific thoughts and the reaction. Trying to pinpoint the exact thought who gave raise to the anxiety i was feeling.
  7. So was at my dad'd house and it was this program on radio about bike accidents which i wrote about last week. I had forgot about it, but he listened to it and he mentioned it. I can feel the sweat dripping, i will go outside and not think about it. Even if that is avoidance in a way. Damn, it can hit quickly And i always seems to get irritated at the person who brings it up. Which is silly it is the OCD i need to be angry at. This is not unexpected at all, because i have feelt the last days that my OCD is hoovering like crazy, i have even got 2 totally new obessions. It is always here i fail, because there is ALWAYS one thought that seems to be important. gaaaaaah. So today i have to clean my bike and change a part so i can go out with it. If it gets worse tonight i will take one painkiller, i think it give some relief. I just can't fall back down in a period again. Then i have to read tonight i just can't let this take my time, so one NSAID it will be if it still tries to do its thing when i come home. I have to admit to myself that it have got worse after i stopped SSRI, i will not go back on SSRI, worst case scenario i will try antipsychotica but no SSRI. Firstly i would have lost all my success i have had withdrawing and the crazy appetite would come back. I don't like you OCD, stop trying to get my attention. Gah Do you think it is a bad to go to bed late and wake up late, when it comes to OCD? I have read that many with OCD tends to go to bed late, there is actually a connection between OCD and delayed sleep phase disorder. I thought about starting a thread about it a while ago, but i didn't. Annnd i am seeing a lot of people here with the same problem as I, even people with false-memory OCD which i can relate to 100%. Before i know about pure-O and especially false-memory i always saw me as a special case, to special to ever be successful. And I learnt about all of this but it didn't relieve my anxiety very long. I just want to say that i can totally relate to others here, and still it do its thing, it adjust the story just for a tiny tiny bit and it "needs" to be taken serious again. I just wanted to tell you guys here so it can't be taken as reassurance that all of this seems like the same thing just comming with different thoughts.
  8. OCDhavenobrain

    Anyone worried they acted?

    I am sorry but i have a small fear that you might have been victim of OCD's tendency to go up and down. I could be wrong! You said you had have therapy but i feel like your therapist should have told you about some of this - the cognitive side. Other people here are better at describing that part. Giving meaning to the thoughts and so on. The reason i bring this up is because i don't want you to get confused about how you should attack this. I don't want you running around trying to solve thoughts. But well, not every therapist is so good. If that isn't the case, then i can only advice you to stop asking all those questions. It won't make you any good at all! I promise, it won't! And maybe ask your therapist what the thoughts really mean. Do they have meaning, could it be that they just come and doesn't mean anything? Not even if it feel like they do?
  9. OCDhavenobrain

    Serious depression - world getting smaller

    Sadly i haven't got any tips on a specific therapist for you, but i would like to say that i really think it is a good thing with internet and the posibility to get help even if you don't meet the therapist. I have found the best ones online. There seems to be much prestige in psychiatry and i don't think there is time to be wasted when it comes to letting everybody with OCD get the help they need. When it comes to medication would i like to say that i have read a lot about medication and OCD and i haven't really come across anyone who say that they medication cured their OCD, what i am usually reading is that the medication helps temporarily and then one ends up needing to either up the dose or use one more medication when the latest one loses its effect. I think that this is due to the nature of OCD, if you get relief from your current thoughts but still them do their thing they will at some point "up the game" and do what they need to make you as aware as before. That is what i think is going on.
  10. OCDhavenobrain

    The Four Steps

    And the next thing will feel just as real, you know it and i know it. I really like the explanation that there is something in the brain that is overactive and then there is another part which is malfunctioning because that is how i feel. I feel like my brain is throwing things at me and then i can't see if the thought needs to be thought of. It feels like a threat and i don't want to die so threats needs to be taken serious. I have this feeling that when we understand how the brain works we will see how surprisingly simple it is. Next time, if there comes a next time (could be that you will obsess over this for the rest of your life, who knows) you will feel as dreadful as now. Thanks to the fact that we have OCD will we have to actively work so we don't get lost by all the thoughts our brain can't filter out. Atleast for a while. Do not feel guilty that you are wasting time, even if it turns out that you and me never will act differently, maybe it can help someone else. But we need to think that we need and can get better.
  11. OCDhavenobrain

    Does anyone else experience this?

    What did your therapist say about this. And was he/she making you morw anxious or less?
  12. OCDhavenobrain

    Serious depression - world getting smaller

    You are hoping for a miracle. You dont need him. Its enough with a good therapist
  13. OCDhavenobrain

    The Four Steps

    So what are you going to do today? Will you sit there and analyze it? Maybe ask your partner when you come home? Is there anything you could do differently today? If you had to come up with the easiest task you could imagine to change focus from your mind, what would that be? What do you think is manageable to do instead of obsessing and for how long?
  14. Thank you. Sometimes i analyzing how i feelt "before" OCD, i do have childhood-memories which i found enjoyful, and sometimes i think that this was how it was overall "before OCD", but i don't think that is the case, because everybody have happy memories and it seems like i showed signs of it early. We are talking 4-5 years old. I have some totally new obsessions comming in, it's about a friend, an acne-scar and if it was abusive. I will just write this because it won't benefit me if i write it out. I think i might have pinpoint my fear and it might sound narcissistic but it is probably that i don't want to have been abused/destroyed. I am sorry but i see how this can be totally triggering beyond imagination because it is usually the other way around and i also have one situation where i think i been the abuser. I would like to end with saying that it is 100% the feelings which are the problem for us, i can read about someone who have the exact same fear (obviously not the same event) and i can see logical how it all falls into place. But then there are feelings, we all have it and it is the reason we are here. We have feelings and we act.
  15. OCDhavenobrain

    The Four Steps

    You are getting worse and i think you will benefit from taking this as serious as you can. You are fearful of losing your partner and your work. This is your biggest priority at this point.