Unsurechap

Does anyone ever feel that they get to the end of a day and you think, i've got their obsession sussed, only to go to bed wake up the next morning and it starts all over again? so frustrating.......

Yeh I hear what you are saying but is it now time to try something different as what you are doing isn’t helping!

But we’ve been here before and I’ve told you there are no rules you have to follow. I think what is holding you back is this ‘I don’t want to be gay’. You need to have the attitude of ‘IF I was gay then it would be ok’. It continues to be a fear of yours you need to let it go and have a so what attitude.

Well there is your answer. There are no rules that say you need to do anything. A groinal about going something. Do you think that’s how sexual arousal works? Ps it doesn’t.

Dave Totally get why you would freak out about what the doctor said, but try and not read anything into it. What you describe is not most people describe as arousal - a pleasant, natural feeling that just occurs over which you have no control, you simply describe something happening down there, which as people have outlined can be a symptom of anxiety. Maybe the low testosterone thing is the answer to your libido and erection difficulties?

Some of you were kind enough to post to me last week as i was feeling quite low. well 'm feeling a bit better this week and my mood has definitely improved. I'm currently living apart from my partner and daughter but seeing them and spending time with them over the weekend definitely helped matters. Thank you to those who posted last week and i hope that everyone's week is going ok!

yes deep down i know i'll be ok as ive gotten through hard times before and i'll get through them again.... never give up

wonderer thank you that is helpful, i know its no the done thing to talk about themes, but yes it does help to know that someone has walked the same path as me......

wonderer, thank you for your comment. Yes that is true we are not responsible for our thoughts and i do get that, i just hate mine sometimes and it gets me down the constant internal battle i have to stay well and happy.

njb, thanks mate i appreciate you commenting. i know i'm a good guy who would never hurt a flea.........

And a little bit of blind faith helps as well, trusting in yourself knowing that deep down I am a really good person. Actually maybe the answer is maybe I’m not such a good person and I just cover up how much of a bad person I really am (that’s me exposing myself)

Yeh I do see what you are saying. I guess reassurance isn’t working. Time for a different tact.

Yeh I know you are right. So difficult to not seek reassurance!

Yes they do mean nothing. You are right. Even though they make me physically ill just thinking of them, I wish they would leave me alone. Rationally I know I would never act on my thoughts but for some reason I can’t stop worrying about them. Classic cbt of trying to weigh up the evidence for and against the thought and whether I would do it doesn’t work even though there is overwhelming amounts of evidence (I mean mountains of evidence) still I seem to need to go over things. It’s ridiculous. Now excuse me for being graphic but for example last night I got sexually aroused by the thought of something very heterosexual - ie it didn’t involve a man at all. Now you would think that would be enough for my brain to go well duh you are obviously straight but now here I am still worrying that I’m gay. Even though the thought of doing something sexual with a guy makes me physically retch! It’s completely irrational and I know it but I can’t seem shrug off the worry. I love my partner and my daughter so much, they bring a smile to my face when I think about them or look at pictures off them - why does my brain just accept they make me happy and that I don’t want to be with a man nor do I want to abuse children (another of my fears)

Yeh that’s true and I know that I guess I don’t understand why we get repeated thoughts that I don’t like. They serve no purpose except to upset me.