RoseQuartz

Hi Snowbear Thanks. What they said meets all the criteria for 'confabulation.' They said they were somewhere when an event happened. They were not. I was. They were at home. They are now remembering it as if they were where I was (because over the years I've told the story time and time again where I was before going back to them at their home at the time). But this person doesn't care enough about details like that. I think it's a very mild thing, but they cried the other day saying they were worried about their mental health. They've always had adhd. I mean they are over it now, but I'm still upset that they cried. Meanwhile they are away on holiday. Onto the next, then the next, etc. Which is partly why they won't lay down memory as good as I do, but I've never heard them say anything that resembled a confabulation before. I think they exploit my concern for them as well. Although they don't mean to do it, it's just that I will always listen, always be available, even when I'm exhausted. I'd rather that than they suffer. Other friends of their's often don't answer the phone if they are not up to it. I can't do that. Someone described it to me as being an 'empath.' I'm not perfect at all by any means, in fact it's a fault because I'm suffering by worrying about people so much. What you said about hyper responsibility is interesting. A therapist mentioned that once. I have been trying to have therapy for the past 8 months, but I'm not considered severe enough to be referred to a psychologist or ocd and / or ptsd specialist. I have had sessions with one therapist but I have misgivings about this particular organisation's level of training. I have seen another and she seemed pretty fed up at the last session and over worked. So I am thinking of putting funds aside to go private. I paid for a private psychologist during the lockdown and he was good.

Is worrying about people dying linked to my ocd or would you see it as separate, more ptsd. I lost someone suddenly and traumatically and have a diagnosis of ptsd. But just wondering if it can be part of ocd as well. I worry about loved ones not looking after themselves. They are living normal lives but normal lives result in death at younger ages than many of us would want and I wish they would look after themselves better. One person has a bad memory and said something the other day that was incorrect about a past memory. They haven't done this before and they've always had a bad memory, but I still felt I couldn't put them straight on it, because they clearly believed what they were saying. The story was correct, but details of it were wrong. Not bizarrely wrong, but if they did that more it would be a problem. I just hope a one off here and there is normal. But is it a one off? Anyone else hearing the story would have believed it because they wouldn't have known any different. So how many other things is this person getting wrong and I just don't know because I wasn't there when those memories were made. I've lost so many people. I really need a decade of calm, I'm scared, I'm not sure how much more change I can take before it will harm my health. And it will break my heart if there's anything wrong with this person I've described.

Thanks Howard I am lately. There was also a traumatic health event that happened some time ago, not to me but to someone I knew. I had the heart check four years ago because I kept getting ectopic beats. The doctor didn't think it necessary but I wanted something a little more than an ecg. Here in the UK we don't have regular heart checks. I could maybe see a private doctor and develop a relationship there so that they understood my anxieties and could monitor me. I had a medical test once that gave worrying news. It was later changed as the results were not worrying, just appeared so to one doctor. This was not heart related. I was told there was a significant problem. Then later told there was no problem and I was discharged. But because this all happened immediately after the traumatic event, it seems to have affected me. I don't find tests reassuring now and avoid them. It's a short term strategy and I will have to find a way to deal with it. I've started seeing a therapist but she seems to be struggling to understand my difficult life circumstances at the moment. She seems to be reading too much into things. I asked if I could have an appointment over the phone because I had a bad cold (that might have been covid I don't know) and I don't yet have a new car. She called me but didn't run a session, just seemed irked that I couldn't make it there and probing to see if there was an 'underlying reason.' There isn't always and it's frustrating because I do need help with the things I've told her about and if not her, then I need to find someone.

Lynz, do you get chest discomfort? I started a low level hrt in 2020, I find if I'm late changing the patch I start getting the sensations as well. I once told the doctor it was actual chest discomfort but he said my normal echo scan means he's not worried. I know it's not something that happens during exercise, though I can't rush if I've been sat too long because of postural hypotension. I need to get my hormone levels checked because it's been more of a symptom in the last few months and my oestrogen is apparently too high (I'm gradually lowering it). Thankfully re the mental symptoms, I am quick to note they are hormonal and so able to switch activity to break the pattern. Not with ordinary ocd, but I only get episodes of that here and there. I can manage the hormonal stuff quite well, but today was slightly more than usual. Thanks for your reply

Thanks, I was still moping about, then read your response and went out. Walk was fine, though tonight returning home, I get out of the car and feel heavy. It's a postural hypotension thing partly. Fine if I've been moving about.

Last night I had strange sensations in my chest. I get them before my period and they resolve when it arrives. But they are not totally normal as I wouldn't run or race about while it's happening (but exercise would not bring it on, it's definitely hormonal). I have had heart checks about 4 years ago and told all is normal. I know this isn't though, and I know I should get it checked but I'm way too scared. I know it doesn't mean I have heart disease, but it should be checked out. I won't do it though. I have no support with this. My ocd wants to hover about this point all day today and not move from it. I suspect the same hormones that brought about the sensation are also affecting me mentally and this will lift. But right now it won't let me do anything else. It's telling me that there's a serious problem that I'm ignoring. It knows I won't do anything about it. I have in the past and told not to worry, but this is slightly different, so I should just keep a check on it. But the ocd knows I can't do anything. Yet it still stays with the subject. I might take myself for a walk somewhere and then at least I think I'm doing the right thing for my health

Thanks

Agreed. I slept well that night and it was a great work day, but so often not the case. Ylang Ylang, I used to have that back in college, I liked it but haven't thought to get any recently. I have lavender oil and rose oil. I must get some ylang ylang again.

Hi Angst Yes hoping that will be the case for me when I move. It's a real problem as well as an ocd one, and a big problem for a lot of people. Work visit went very well, I slept like a log the night before, lol

I will look into some really good noise cancelling headphones this week

Thanks Howard, you've reminded me that I've got a headband thing that is headphones for bed. Not the same thing but I wasn't using it because of not having bluetooth on the temporary laptop. But I've sorted that, so I can use that tonight. It might help. I think I need to tackle the underlying worries though, that everything should be perfect and that I should not wake up. Some people fall into bed without thinking and sleep all night. I prep with rituals to try to attain that and anxious and waking up. I'll be fine for 4 hours and then I wake. Doctor gave me sleeping pills, but after 4 hour's sleep, if I took a quarter of a pill it would take me another hour to go back to sleep and then it's not long before it's time to get up and I'm drugged with it, lol. I think if it happens I'll just get up and leave early. The other person is so hyper he won't mind if I call and say I'm coming much earlier, lol.

Thanks Lifewillbegood I think I have too many obsessions going on to be honest as well. I have rituals about use of the bathroom before bed. (Anxiety about being woken up is behind everything). I wake up easily because I'm now in peri menopause and unfortunately that's what happens. But a lot of it is anxiety and ocd rituals. Strange how when I was ill recently I just went to sleep and didn't care (but then I didn't have to be up the next day). I will be going regardless even if I have very little sleep and have to drag myself through the day. It'll be easier when I move from here because there are real noise problems as well and it's that thing about not being able to control your environment. I'll report back and thanks for the support

I'm getting to the point where I'm worrying about the next day constantly because I am not sleeping properly and waking up too easily. I'm also getting a strange twinge in the left of my head. I never get anything like this. It happened today when I turned my head and looked to the left but quickly went away so I ignored it. But tonight it's happened a few times. It's part of the areas of the head that you can feel move when you are chewing, up the side of the face but more towards the head than the face. So that's going to worry me as well.

Hi all I have a work trip tomorrow with someone who's very hyper and I can never keep up with this person and start flagging half way through the day. You can't talk to them, they are pretty adhd and even when they try they are exhausting. And I'm the opposite I have a lot of fatigue. So because I have this to do, I am obsessing about not sleeping. My neighbours had their subwoofer going and for a brief moment the floor felt like it tipped up (like on a boat), they generally keep it down but in the holidays I have been kept up all night on the odd occasion. I'm now worried that will happen tonight and then I will either struggle tomorrow or have to pull out of the trip altogether and that will let people down. My home is pretty noisy and something always happens to wake me up when I have these work trips (they are fairly regular and would be ok if I'd slept) At the same time I know I'm over worrying about it. Are there any strategies I can use to stop this obsessing? Thanks

Good reply Angst. I couldn't get my words together earlier, but just want to say to Nolightleft, it all sounds very scrupulous, worrying about this. If people didn't have fantasies the human race would have died out a long time ago. A lot of what people with ocd worry about is common instinctive behaviour and thoughts, it's just other people don't care that they do or think these things, people with ocd worry about it. If you don't want to go back down the road of feeling anxious etc, then the compulsions need to stop. Yes you had that fantasy, you're concerned that it means something terrible about you. Before ruminating or worrying, the treatment as I understand it is to accept that you can never be sure what it means, you'll bever be certain that you're not a bad person, and then shuft your mind to focus on getting on with your day. Dr Salkovskis is good and also Jonathan Grayson, he's wrote a book on ocd, its out there (if you google, I can't remember the name) and I think would help. Get on with your day, regardless !