RoseQuartz

Hi Snowbear Thanks. What they said meets all the criteria for 'confabulation.' They said they were somewhere when an event happened. They were not. I was. They were at home. They are now remembering it as if they were where I was (because over the years I've told the story time and time again where I was before going back to them at their home at the time). But this person doesn't care enough about details like that. I think it's a very mild thing, but they cried the other day saying they were worried about their mental health. They've always had adhd. I mean they are over it now, but I'm still upset that they cried. Meanwhile they are away on holiday. Onto the next, then the next, etc. Which is partly why they won't lay down memory as good as I do, but I've never heard them say anything that resembled a confabulation before. I think they exploit my concern for them as well. Although they don't mean to do it, it's just that I will always listen, always be available, even when I'm exhausted. I'd rather that than they suffer. Other friends of their's often don't answer the phone if they are not up to it. I can't do that. Someone described it to me as being an 'empath.' I'm not perfect at all by any means, in fact it's a fault because I'm suffering by worrying about people so much. What you said about hyper responsibility is interesting. A therapist mentioned that once. I have been trying to have therapy for the past 8 months, but I'm not considered severe enough to be referred to a psychologist or ocd and / or ptsd specialist. I have had sessions with one therapist but I have misgivings about this particular organisation's level of training. I have seen another and she seemed pretty fed up at the last session and over worked. So I am thinking of putting funds aside to go private. I paid for a private psychologist during the lockdown and he was good.

Is worrying about people dying linked to my ocd or would you see it as separate, more ptsd. I lost someone suddenly and traumatically and have a diagnosis of ptsd. But just wondering if it can be part of ocd as well. I worry about loved ones not looking after themselves. They are living normal lives but normal lives result in death at younger ages than many of us would want and I wish they would look after themselves better. One person has a bad memory and said something the other day that was incorrect about a past memory. They haven't done this before and they've always had a bad memory, but I still felt I couldn't put them straight on it, because they clearly believed what they were saying. The story was correct, but details of it were wrong. Not bizarrely wrong, but if they did that more it would be a problem. I just hope a one off here and there is normal. But is it a one off? Anyone else hearing the story would have believed it because they wouldn't have known any different. So how many other things is this person getting wrong and I just don't know because I wasn't there when those memories were made. I've lost so many people. I really need a decade of calm, I'm scared, I'm not sure how much more change I can take before it will harm my health. And it will break my heart if there's anything wrong with this person I've described.

Thanks Howard I am lately. There was also a traumatic health event that happened some time ago, not to me but to someone I knew. I had the heart check four years ago because I kept getting ectopic beats. The doctor didn't think it necessary but I wanted something a little more than an ecg. Here in the UK we don't have regular heart checks. I could maybe see a private doctor and develop a relationship there so that they understood my anxieties and could monitor me. I had a medical test once that gave worrying news. It was later changed as the results were not worrying, just appeared so to one doctor. This was not heart related. I was told there was a significant problem. Then later told there was no problem and I was discharged. But because this all happened immediately after the traumatic event, it seems to have affected me. I don't find tests reassuring now and avoid them. It's a short term strategy and I will have to find a way to deal with it. I've started seeing a therapist but she seems to be struggling to understand my difficult life circumstances at the moment. She seems to be reading too much into things. I asked if I could have an appointment over the phone because I had a bad cold (that might have been covid I don't know) and I don't yet have a new car. She called me but didn't run a session, just seemed irked that I couldn't make it there and probing to see if there was an 'underlying reason.' There isn't always and it's frustrating because I do need help with the things I've told her about and if not her, then I need to find someone.

Lynz, do you get chest discomfort? I started a low level hrt in 2020, I find if I'm late changing the patch I start getting the sensations as well. I once told the doctor it was actual chest discomfort but he said my normal echo scan means he's not worried. I know it's not something that happens during exercise, though I can't rush if I've been sat too long because of postural hypotension. I need to get my hormone levels checked because it's been more of a symptom in the last few months and my oestrogen is apparently too high (I'm gradually lowering it). Thankfully re the mental symptoms, I am quick to note they are hormonal and so able to switch activity to break the pattern. Not with ordinary ocd, but I only get episodes of that here and there. I can manage the hormonal stuff quite well, but today was slightly more than usual. Thanks for your reply

Thanks, I was still moping about, then read your response and went out. Walk was fine, though tonight returning home, I get out of the car and feel heavy. It's a postural hypotension thing partly. Fine if I've been moving about.

Last night I had strange sensations in my chest. I get them before my period and they resolve when it arrives. But they are not totally normal as I wouldn't run or race about while it's happening (but exercise would not bring it on, it's definitely hormonal). I have had heart checks about 4 years ago and told all is normal. I know this isn't though, and I know I should get it checked but I'm way too scared. I know it doesn't mean I have heart disease, but it should be checked out. I won't do it though. I have no support with this. My ocd wants to hover about this point all day today and not move from it. I suspect the same hormones that brought about the sensation are also affecting me mentally and this will lift. But right now it won't let me do anything else. It's telling me that there's a serious problem that I'm ignoring. It knows I won't do anything about it. I have in the past and told not to worry, but this is slightly different, so I should just keep a check on it. But the ocd knows I can't do anything. Yet it still stays with the subject. I might take myself for a walk somewhere and then at least I think I'm doing the right thing for my health

Thanks

Agreed. I slept well that night and it was a great work day, but so often not the case. Ylang Ylang, I used to have that back in college, I liked it but haven't thought to get any recently. I have lavender oil and rose oil. I must get some ylang ylang again.

Hi Angst Yes hoping that will be the case for me when I move. It's a real problem as well as an ocd one, and a big problem for a lot of people. Work visit went very well, I slept like a log the night before, lol

I will look into some really good noise cancelling headphones this week

Thanks Howard, you've reminded me that I've got a headband thing that is headphones for bed. Not the same thing but I wasn't using it because of not having bluetooth on the temporary laptop. But I've sorted that, so I can use that tonight. It might help. I think I need to tackle the underlying worries though, that everything should be perfect and that I should not wake up. Some people fall into bed without thinking and sleep all night. I prep with rituals to try to attain that and anxious and waking up. I'll be fine for 4 hours and then I wake. Doctor gave me sleeping pills, but after 4 hour's sleep, if I took a quarter of a pill it would take me another hour to go back to sleep and then it's not long before it's time to get up and I'm drugged with it, lol. I think if it happens I'll just get up and leave early. The other person is so hyper he won't mind if I call and say I'm coming much earlier, lol.

Thanks Lifewillbegood I think I have too many obsessions going on to be honest as well. I have rituals about use of the bathroom before bed. (Anxiety about being woken up is behind everything). I wake up easily because I'm now in peri menopause and unfortunately that's what happens. But a lot of it is anxiety and ocd rituals. Strange how when I was ill recently I just went to sleep and didn't care (but then I didn't have to be up the next day). I will be going regardless even if I have very little sleep and have to drag myself through the day. It'll be easier when I move from here because there are real noise problems as well and it's that thing about not being able to control your environment. I'll report back and thanks for the support

I'm getting to the point where I'm worrying about the next day constantly because I am not sleeping properly and waking up too easily. I'm also getting a strange twinge in the left of my head. I never get anything like this. It happened today when I turned my head and looked to the left but quickly went away so I ignored it. But tonight it's happened a few times. It's part of the areas of the head that you can feel move when you are chewing, up the side of the face but more towards the head than the face. So that's going to worry me as well.

Hi all I have a work trip tomorrow with someone who's very hyper and I can never keep up with this person and start flagging half way through the day. You can't talk to them, they are pretty adhd and even when they try they are exhausting. And I'm the opposite I have a lot of fatigue. So because I have this to do, I am obsessing about not sleeping. My neighbours had their subwoofer going and for a brief moment the floor felt like it tipped up (like on a boat), they generally keep it down but in the holidays I have been kept up all night on the odd occasion. I'm now worried that will happen tonight and then I will either struggle tomorrow or have to pull out of the trip altogether and that will let people down. My home is pretty noisy and something always happens to wake me up when I have these work trips (they are fairly regular and would be ok if I'd slept) At the same time I know I'm over worrying about it. Are there any strategies I can use to stop this obsessing? Thanks

Good reply Angst. I couldn't get my words together earlier, but just want to say to Nolightleft, it all sounds very scrupulous, worrying about this. If people didn't have fantasies the human race would have died out a long time ago. A lot of what people with ocd worry about is common instinctive behaviour and thoughts, it's just other people don't care that they do or think these things, people with ocd worry about it. If you don't want to go back down the road of feeling anxious etc, then the compulsions need to stop. Yes you had that fantasy, you're concerned that it means something terrible about you. Before ruminating or worrying, the treatment as I understand it is to accept that you can never be sure what it means, you'll bever be certain that you're not a bad person, and then shuft your mind to focus on getting on with your day. Dr Salkovskis is good and also Jonathan Grayson, he's wrote a book on ocd, its out there (if you google, I can't remember the name) and I think would help. Get on with your day, regardless !

Lifewillbegood and Snowbear Thanks, I know part of me wasn't sure whether I should be taking him literally.. In the past I would clarify, but they have no time atm. Unfortunately I've since had 3 episodes of upset stomach. I ignored 2 as I didn't feel ill, no temperature, but still it was significant (tmi sorry, but diarrhea and unusual for me). This seems to bear no relation to my prior skin infection, so decided to let it run its course. Then my mum mentioned she'd had an episode of it, we'd me for lunch one day but the only thing we ate the same was a flap jack. Then last night I woke up shivering, nauseous, temperature low 35.2. I decided to deal with it rationally. Took stemetil. Put the heater on, realised it was pretty cold anyway. Made myself go back to sleep. On waking I think I've been sweating during the night. Now a really difficult person I work for has decided I must be better now and has arranged for me to work with him on weds. It's a journey away and I currently have no car so will have to hire one. I don't mind that, it is part of my job, but it's like the world is carrying on and not realising I'm not well. It's getting on for 5 weeks. If it was just this stomach I'd give it time but on the back of the cellulitis it worries me as it might be linked. I just want to be better before anything else, so I at least know its separate.

Ok the doctor said as the temperature spike was shortlived and not very high (and my foot and leg look ok), we can watch and wait. So I was just getting comfortable and said 'so a shortlived spike like that I don't have to worry?' and he said 'if you get another one we'll pounce on it with antibiotics.' While ocd knows he didn't mean it literally, he meant if I get another one, it lasts a long time, or a few episodes, because he didn't say that, I have to take literally what he did say. Which means I will want to call for his reassurance should I get even the mildest temperature spike in the next few days. Even though I know he didn't mean for me to take it literally.

You're welcome. I also see ocd as physiological too. I tend to have more symptoms if I've eaten a lot of bread. I think there's some evidence that eating foods containing selenium help and avoiding gluten / wheat. Might help dampen it down if it's been kicking.

LOL, since this illness my feet will be getting whatever they want (ignoring a blister might have caused it) I realise you mean't the supplements. I have those, I swore by them years ago, they always make me feel better, but I tend not to take everyday (I forget or leave it too late and worry they will keep me awake)

With ocd, one might freak out over something that was actually normal. Thoughts of all sorts of things come to us all the time and yes there will be micro movements based on whatever those thoughts are, others are unlikely to notice because it's just our own mind turning itself over. We can think about all sorts of things in any situation. All of that is normal. And yes there are some things that are not normal in the sense that they may be of harm to ourselves or to others, but nothing of what you've described here meets that. I think there will be many people who would think of having sex with another adult, while dealing with their kids, it's called multi tasking. Your anxiety is on the constant look out for what you fear. Have you read Jonathan Grayson's book, overcoming ocd or something like that. He is very good about intrusive thoughts and also I think you might find him on you tube, if not, I know Dr Salkovskis is good too but it's Jonathan Grayson's book that I think might be of help to you based on what's been upsetting you. I'd add that it is important to get a diagnosis if you have not, because then you can treat this properly. Reassurance seeking and ruminating are compulsions and keep these things going.

Reassurance doesn't help ocd. It's counter productive. But as you are (only) 18, (sorry but I'm a lot older now and experienced a lot of women's stuff), this is most likely normal. In fact so normal that I wouldn't have paid attention to it, even if it's a change. Obviously I'm not a medical practitioner and you have to decide for yourself, but there is nothing in what you've said that sounds worrisome. Worthy of note (should things be off next month) but not worrisome. If there is unusual pain for you that's another matter, or if bleeding became ridiculously heavy. To give an example, as I am in peri menopause I had a really heavy period one month. I called the doctor and he just said are you having to use pads and how many changes in an hour? Well at the time I was using pads as it was heavy but no changes in 3 hours. Just to give you an idea of what they look for. Again it's important to be aware I'm not a medical practitioner, but just giving some perspective.

As some of you know I've had cellulitis. I had that over 3 weeks ago. On Friday my foot felt sore, but the doctor said it might be all the walking, she's given me antibiotics but said they are just standby for the weekend but she doesn't think I will need them. Watch and wait and if anything happens it would be in 24 hours. So that was Friday. I've felt fine all weekend but today I had no energy. I was busy at the weekend though. But at 6pm I had this weird feeling come over me, like hot and went instantly sweaty. It only lasted minutes, but I'm a little off. My stomach is a bit upset but I remember the doctor telling me before to ignore my gut as that's not usually related to this. So maybe I have a mild stomach bug or something. But panicking because the surgery is now closed. It's going to get dark (somehow that's worse when feeling ill) and worried about sepsis. I spoke to a counsellor about these fears and told her it's that I feel like something is switching me off, like I'm not properly alert, get tunnel vision, just feel like I'm becoming more distant from life. I know this sounds more like panic but ocd runs through all my fears and my behaviour especially about anything that would make me ill. My foot looks fine, leg looks fine as well. Still not right but pink and stable. Fear is telling me to take the antibiotics as something is wrong but rational me is saying this may not be the cellulitis which looks ok. My temperature goes up to 36.9 C. That's not a fever but because I have an underactive thyroid I'm usually 36.5. Even calling 111 would make me nervous, though I will if necessary. My legs feel a bit quivery but they often do if I'm a little under the weather. So scared of sepsis. This has been going on for an hour and half. What is the right rational thing to do, I hate being so anxious.

Thanks Howard, yes I have some cream with Q10 in it, that's a good idea. I will try it.

Thanks Snowbear. Sorry to hear you have pain in your feet though. Thanks for all your help

Just for a bit of balance, a lot of parenting and play with children is spontaneous and instinctive, so you are not consciously thinking about it and don't have to because instinct is doing it for you. These child rearing theories and lessons for children on boundaries are all good of course, but I think they are more designed for people that are way skewed in their interaction with children, not just slight variations based on personality types. I know a lot of people who will take longer to stop, others who will be so tentative they don't start and it's all individual variation.