Jump to content

Wren

Bulletin Board User
  • Content Count

    242
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    UK

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. I wrote this on a thread last week, which my clumsy way of describing exactly what you have written..." I have this pervasive sense/feeling of dread and self hatred pretty much all the time when I'm not obsessing or performing compulsions and I think it is the root cause of my ocd. I think my ocd behaviours are a way of rationalising and containing these feelings so I can at least get some release and sense out of them. For example, if I can pin the feelings on it being my fault for not being clean enough, I can then understand and relieve the feeling by cleaning, the feelings are also contained to that one subject area so the feelings are then not constant and pervasive about everything I do, think and feel. Until I deal with this I think I will always be fire fighting new and different obsessions." I have to admit that I stopped using this forum much a while ago because I strongly feel that CBT alone is insufficient treatment for some people with ocd, but that is not a very popular viewpoint so I get scared of voicing it.
  2. I don't want to hijack your thread, but I wanted to say I relate completely. I have this pervasive sense/feeling of dread and self hatred pretty much all the time when I'm not obsessing or performing compulsions and I think it is the root cause of my ocd. I think my ocd behaviours are a way of rationalising and containing these feelings so I can at least get some release and sense out of them. For example, if I can pin the feelings on it being my fault for not being clean enough, I Can then understand and relieve the feeling by cleaning, the feelings are also contained to that one subject area so the feelings are then not constant and pervasive about everything I do, think and feel. Until I deal with this I think I will always be fire fighting new and different obsessions. I'm currently just starting a workbook on compassion focused therapy as an adjunct to CBT, I don't know if it will help but it might be something you could look at? You might also want to look again at the concept of core beliefs in CBT if you have not already done so.
  3. I shock myself at my over reactions sometimes, but it's often a case of the straw that broke the camels back and the feelings need to come out somehow, and they do always pass. Crying is a great way to relieve tension so you can move on, there's no shame in it, it's just a natural and helpful human reaction. I barely register my tinnitus now, it's just one of those things and not a problem, and the vast majority of time I forget about it. I think it is very common and yours could go away anyway, sometimes it's just due to a cold or stress. But do make a doctors appointment when you can.
  4. If you want, you can call the Samaritans back and speak to a different person. It sounds like you have got a new responsibility to deal with and a busy life, so maybe the tinnitus has just triggered some anxiety and stress which is perfectably understandable. Anxiety is a funny thing - it's kind of like an autocatalytic reaction - so it ends up being out of proportion to the original trigger. Try the breathing thing again, and certainly stop googling! Only the horror stories are the ones that get written about, not the vast majority of people's actual experience which is much more mundane. You don't need to make any changes to your routine, I sometimes listen to white noise on my phone as I fall asleep, that's all, but I rarely even bother with that now.
  5. When my tinnitus first started I couldn't listen to it at all without panicking, so I had to have constant noise from music or tv etc. Like you I was shocked at how devastated and overwhelmed I was about it, seemingly out of all proportion, but in reality the tinnitus was just a trigger for my anxiety, and once I dealt with the anxiety I no longer cared about the tinnitus. I think the tinnitus just triggered a feeling of being trapped because I couldn't escape from it, so it started a spiral of ever increasing anxiety, but you can, like I have, break that cycle and be ok again. It's certainly not a life sentence. Ring the Samaritans, it's what they are there for.
  6. Its ok, just take some time to slow your breathing. Try breathing in to the count of five and breathing out to the count of seven to calm your nervous system. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a hug or needing someone to talk to, it's perfectly natural and good thing to do when you are in a state of stress. The Samaritans are there for anyone needing to talk, not just those thinking of suicide, so it's ok to call them. I have mild tinnitus and it caused me a lot of stress at first but now I don't notice it, and there is no guarantee that yours will not go away on its own anyway.
  7. I absolutely understand, Im currently relying on books! I think self help is possible but we need to know which therapies will help us, and for me after years of CBT, I'm finally getting somewhere by acknowledging that CBT is not a panacea for all problems. (Caveat - CBT is the best form of therapy for ocd, it's just that if you have ocd it doesn't mean all your problems are caused by ocd). I think the evidence for success rates of different types of talk therapies are patchy, it's seems from what I know that it is the relationship you form with the therapist which is the helpful bit. I think there is a bit of a tendency for CBT to treat us as autonomous individuals, rather than as social beings who are profoundly influenced by our society and relationships, and I've found reading around this subject area helpful.
  8. I found the chapter near the end of 'CBT for OCD' about a woman who couldn't engage in CBT before she had tackled her underlying beliefs, really useful. There are times when CBT is not the best choice for problems outside of ocd, especially if you don't want prescriptive answers, have you looked at understanding the different forms of counselling such as person centred counselling and psychodynamic counselling etc? I think you are more likely to get a good counsellor if they are qualified in a specific approach rather than just 'counselling'. I struggle to talk face to face - I clam up or just want to make sure I've not upset the therapist - so I would write down everything I wanted to say before the session and ask them to read it. I googled 'email counselling' recently and there are a lot of therapists offering written online services now. There is also nothing wrong with shopping around and chatting to someone first before commiting, and if you don't like a therapist there is nothing wrong with moving on.
  9. Hi, I'm very much like you and I found a lot of help working through the 'overcoming low self esteem self help course in three parts' book from the 'overcoming books' CBT series. It has some really eye opening (for me anyway) and easy excercises to work out your core beliefs or 'bottom line' ie "I am bad" "I am unloveable" etc.
  10. Good post Phil. The single best standalone thing I have found to help with OCD is to never stay in bed after I have woken up, even for a minute. I have a wake up light which is great, and if necessary I set an alarm on my iPad and put it on the other side of the room to force myself to get out of bed. I'm trying to make my bed a 'no rumination zone' so if I wake up in the night I will get up and do something else until I'm too tired to think. It's was pretty awful in the beginning because I wouldn't get much sleep, but my brain seems to retraining itself to not associate being in bed with ruminating so I sleep much better now. I never allow myself lie ins, much like someone who struggles with alcohol, having just one is never worth the fall out for me.
  11. Wren

    OCD Books - New Book Club

    That would be great Ashley, I'm certainly interested.
  12. I've copied and pasted this one so I can refer to it again.
  13. You write really well. I feel like your post put into words how I often feel but can't quite find the language. I've always struggled with a constant guilty feeling that everything I do is wrong, I think a lot of it is due to my need for certainty and inability to accept that morality is not black and white.
  14. I'm not sure what to say, only I empathise and I'm thinking of you. W
  15. That's such a good, clear explanation, Ram - thanks! Wonderer - I also think having CBT therapy helps with everyday life too, I guess it's one benefit of having OCD - 'normal' people don't get the opputunity to learn CBT techniques even though I think they could be useful for most people.
×