constantworrier1989

Hey everyone, I wanted to give an update and thank you for helping me before my wedding. I continued to have some anxiety in the days before, but I managed through and we had a great wedding day! thank everyone who responded to my previous post - I was in a bad place and it helped me feel better. now though, I’m still having anxiety. And intrusive thoughts. But are they? Sometimes I have the thoughts and don’t have that much anxiety. Then I have anxiety about not having anxiety. I kind of just have a sense of dread too. shouldn’t my post wedding feelings be just insanely happy? I realize that’s not realistic but I don’t know. I also know I’m CONSTANTLY monitoring my feelings and whether or not I feel annoyed when he touches me. I also keep bringing up memories of the wedding etc to see how I’m feeling. And assessing how I feel in and about the relationship. I have my first counselor appointment tomorrow and I’m really scared. What if she tells me all these thoughts mean I don’t love him and this has been a mistake? What if she tells me the fact that I feel fake sometimes when I say I love him means I am fake?

Thank you. I’m trying to concentrate on breathing and just focusing on one thing at a time

Thank you. I’m feeling a little better now.

I don’t even know what started it. My fiancé and I are driving 18 hours to go to our wedding and I had to pull over because I was having a panic attack about everything. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I had the image in my head of calling the whole thing off and had this horrible sinking feeling and just started bawling. My heart feels like it’s racing. How can I possibly get married feeling like this? I want to, I love him, but I feel horrible. please. I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to relax and not ruminate etc but I’m having the hardest time. I feel like since I feel this way it means I don’t want to. Or I shouldn’t. I’m so upset please help me

I had the thought, what if I wake up in the morning after the wedding and regret it? I’m freaking out ?

My brain is going a million miles a minute, and it doesn’t help that outside factors are making me even more stressed about my wedding. I keep thinking that the fact that I’m feeling anxiety about the wedding and being married in general means something is wrong. That it means I shouldn’t get married. I want to marry my fiancé, but I’m still scared. Stress is seriously messing with my stomach. My job is extremely boring and I can’t do anything to distract myself or I’ll get in trouble, so I just have the thoughts running around in my head all day. then I’m upset about the fact that I’m more anxious and scared about the wedding than excited. I feel like I’m robbing myself of being happy. it’s just constant rumination and feeling checking, then worrying about the feelings and on and on and on. then, one of my bridesmaids still doesn’t have a dress and we’re a month out. It’s a long story but her plus another of my bridesmaids have been making this hard for me. THEN the person who was supposed to do my hair as a favor to my sister is no longer friends with my sister, so I have to figure out my hair. I still have a few DIY things to do and just UGH. I don’t LOVE my dress which makes me sad. I didn’t lose weight like I wanted to. ??? i know I’m rambling and that last bit isn’t even about ocd but I just want to cry. Which I did last night. And a few other times. I’ve been trying to just sit with the anxiety but it’s awful, and then I beat myself up for being anxious because I’m supposed to just be happy and excited! I don’t want reassurance (well yes I do lol), but maybe just support?

Thank you! I’ll try that. I’m also trying breathing exercises. It’s just the fact that I’m anxious about it is making me feel like something is wrong. Guess it is OCD ??

I don’t know if this is even ocd related, but I know there are a lot of married people on here and I want to ask - we’re you scared and anxious before the wedding? It’s not even about my partner, it’s just... in general? any tips on calming myself down?

I’ve been feeling a little better about things, but I noticed whenever I hear the word “forever” I get deeply uncomfortable and my heart starts to race. Is this just a trigger word? Does it mean anything that it scares me? What do I do? ?

Thank you! Tomorrow is a new day

That’s really encouraging to hear. I’m glad you’re doing well in your marriage! I know I’m doing every compulsion under the sun, it’s just so hard. Checking, ruminating, confessing. Everything! I’m being weak but trying not to be. the wedding is January 16th.

I’m trying. It’s just kind of breaking my heart that I’m feeling this way

Hi everyone, so I’ve been struggling with ROCD since my fiancé and I first moved in together a few years ago. I’ve been able to manage it fairly well, I mean kind of okay, and in the meantime we moved to a totally different state together and got engaged. Now, the wedding is in just over a month and oh my god my brain. I’ve been doing decently well but today is bad - it doesn’t help that it’s that time of the month. It always gets bad around this time. My main focus (right now) is that I’m scared. I know that I love him, despite my intrusive thoughts and doubts about that. But the fact that I’m scared of getting married/ marriage is freaking me the hell out. I’ve talked to him, my mom, and my sister about this and they all say it’s normal... but ugh. I just can’t relax! To top it off two of my bridesmaids are being horrible. Does the fact that I’m scared and anxious mean I don’t want this? Does anyone else feel this anxious before they get married??? We paid off the photographer today, which I thought would bring me relief but now I just feel more anxious. I don’t even know what I’m rambling about anymore to be honest. I’m just all over the place and I hate that I’m not just blissfully happy in this, the time of my engagement. Instead my heart is racing and just ugh! I don’t even know what I want from posting this. Maybe I just wanted to rant. If anyone has tips or experience with this, please share.

Hey me90! I actually think I have the same username that I did on SIAD lol. I can’t offer any great advice but I wanted to let you know that I care about you and do think of you from time to time. Im so sorry to hear that you’re having such a hard time with withdrawals and OCD. You’ve helped me out quite a few times in the past and it was (and still is) deeply appreciated! I hope that’s not too weird coming from someone you’ve only chatted with a few times on the internet ? Also, hi lasthope! I recognize your name from SIAD! ?

And my friends keep saying, “if you know you know”, and that doesn’t help at all. They also don’t overthink everything like I do!

Thank you lostinme. I’m trying so hard to just let the thoughts pass but it’s like every second I’m thinking about it on some level. The word fiancé makes me uncomfortable so that makes me worry. I know this is all irrational on one hand, because I want to spend my life with him... but on the other hand this could possibly be a huge mistake. That small doubt is turning into a big doubt because I keep thinking about it and I just want it to stop.

I’ve really been struggling since my fiancé and I got engaged. I love him and want to spend my life with him, but I keep feeling like something isn’t right. I don’t know what it is... it’s just kind of a feeling. Like I have doubts about us lasting “forever” (that word specifically worries me, and the phrase “spend our lives together”) and it worries me that I don’t want to wait 2 years to get married. My sister said “well y’all will be together regardless” and the thought scared me? I don’t know what to do... I know I shouldn’t be asking for reassurance but ugh. Also he’s the first person I’ve ever wanted to have children with, and I wonder if that’s the only reason I love him? Because I want babies?! Do I just accept the thoughts and move on? ???? Feel free to slap some sense into me, also.

Once my boyfriend and I moved in together I suddenly started doubting whether I love him or not even though literally a week before I was a million percent sure that I did. I’ve been trying to deal with that for about a year now, obviously it’s not going amazingly. The main thing I’m having a problem with is, when I get annoyed with him about little things like him being a chatterbox, etc, I feel so guilty and like it means something. I know logically that it doesn’t (right?!), but I just can’t stop worrying about it. This usually happens right around/ during my period which probably doesn’t help either. Basically, I don’t know how to stop feeling guilty about being annoyed and worrying that me being annoyed with him means something. I try not to think about it but I get sad and he can usually tell, and I end up confessing to him. I know I need to stop doing that - but what else can I do?

What if I’m just writing them out? I’ve been wanting to journal lately, I feel like it’ll help, but I don’t know how to do it without mentioning my OCD.

Would journaling (and not showing anyone) about the thoughts specifically be a compulsion?

Hey everyone! I was wondering - sometimes, when my relationship centered OCD isn't terrible, I get those "in love" feelings, or even just any happy feeling toward my partner. I tend to try to hold on to them, almost like I want to use that moment or that feeling to prove to myself that I do love him. Is that a compulsion?

I'm going through a very similar thing right now, so I'm not the best person to give advice - I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone!

Thinking about it, you probably mean the latter. Sorry.

So if I have doubts and anxiety after moving it might mean something about my relationship? Or do you just mean “worry” about them as in try to tackle them from an OCD perspective?

Hi everyone. You might know that I’ve been dealing with OCD thoughts surrounding my relationship with my boyfriend. It’s been... a bit better lately. We’re moving to a different state in less than a month because he got a great job, and my anxiety is so high right now. This is going to turn into a rant and I’m sorry. It’s not even just anxiety related to him or our relationship, it’s also anxiety about money, change, packing, unpacking, selling things, and just about everything else involved. I get obsessed about every little thing and it stresses me out so much. I’m excited about moving but also really scared, and doubtful, and while logically I know this is normal I keep wondering if i should JUST be excited? Does it mean anything about our relationship that I’m also scared and doubtful? Just typing that I KNOW it’s normal but I can’t help but worry about it. What if I get sick of him while I’m there? What if he annoys me? Any time I even get a little annoyed with him I freak out thinking it means something even though I know it’s totally normal to be annoyed by your SO! It’s so frustrating and I’m trying to stop worrying about it but I just can’t! I get frustrated if I feel like he’s not doing enough to help even though he is. Then I feel bad about being frustrated and beat myself up about it even though I know it’s normal to get frustrated. And it doesn’t mean anything. I cant even have normal emotions (that mean nothing about the love I feel for him or the quality of our relationship) without stressing out about those emotions. I don’t know what to do. I try to just let the thoughts be and not analyze, but it also frustrates me because I just want to be happy and excited about this opportunity. Again, I’m reallt sorry about this post. I’m sure it’s just all rumination and rambling but I don’t know where else to do this. ?