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Phil10

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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Scotland

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  1. Right now it feels like the toilet plunger has ruined my life with it just sitting there tormenting me making me feel awful. I considered binning it and buying new for each blockage atleast I could avoid the anxiety of it sitting there. I mean perhaps I have never touched it but it’s these thoughts like my washing machine is dirty my new shoes are dirty it makes me feel awful. I am able to ignore many of these thoughts but often I find I focus on one or two that’s my downfall.
  2. I had other reasons for the house move but ocd was 1/3rd if the reason.
  3. The ocd’s goal is for me to replace stuff. I hate buying new stuff as within hours I worry it’s dirty. I went to the toilet today and worried my watch waved close to the toilet plunger so then I worried my new shoes were dirty simple becuase I touched the box after the toilet. Right now the toilet plunger is causing me so much stress I can’t get rid of it becuase if I block the toilet I require it.
  4. I don’t like going to doctors and i have never been the type to pester doctors to force CBT. I was refused simple. I may seek further CBT but I would have to find a new theripst and more funds becuase despite having 8 sessions I would most likely have to do another 8 or more meaning I would need atleast £300 pounds as it’s £40 per hour. Earlier in the topic people said pay the money as I was replacing stuff so it made sense to spend money on it but I am no longer doing that compulsion so it’s hard to find hundreds of pounds. All I can say is I have asked for CBT for over a decade and I was refused so no I’m afraid I won’t keep asking. So yes any future Cbt I would have to make sure I can afford it.
  5. I’m afraid I can’t get CBT I have been told by the doctors and psychiatrist they knew I was seeing a private one though and never minded. I would have to pay money to see another CBT theripst. I have a wedding in a few months I have no spare money to see another theripst for atleast a few months.
  6. I did a compulsion clearing all my stuff away from my clothes in the cupboard in fear they could harbour toilet plunger germs.
  7. So I often worry I hit the toilet plunger anyway so clothes do get washed would the washing machine finish off anyway germs that exist from any toilet water?
  8. Update After all day agonising what to do whether to throw the clothes away or wash I opted to wash. This may please some people here as the compulsion failed as my head said if I throw away any new clothes on the floor would be dirty anyway so no escaping the plunger germs. I will now worry all my clothes are dirty and my cupboard where I put clean clothes the risk is they could become contaminated so the nightmare about the running round the house with a plunger could come true after all.
  9. So how realistic is my thought that if I wash the clothes any item coming out that machine could harbour toilet germs from the plunger? These thoughts are linked to uncertainty? Why do I worry 90% of the time becuase I don’t have cctv to go back and recheck my actions do doubt creeps in. Every time I post a worry I believe it. Yes I mean the washing machine when my partner touched the bin I did forget that one quickly but sometimes I don’t. My ocd doesn’t doesn’t have a rule book. My ocd tells me right now maybe many other people don’t have toilet plungers or brushes so there clothes would never hit them?
  10. I wash my hands that’s a compulsion I find this hard to stop. My main one is replacing or throwing away but I’ve stopped that. So yeah basically my only compulsion is the washing or cleaning so that’s not a big issue. The issue is I don’t want the thoughts? It will be hard to convince me a toilet plunger and brush is clean. I work in a shop and I block the toilet they also use a plunger so I won’t buy anything from it becuase the cleaner mops the floor so I worry the germs have spread. Is that a compulsion to not buy anything?
  11. Yes true but it doesn’t feel like a win when I feel trapped when I can’t do that compulsion?
  12. Yes I Understand but I can’t seem to get the ideas out my head I appreciate all the advice and I will spend time reading over it but I have issues with it sinking in. Someone said they would happily touch the toilet plunger I can’t quite get my head round that one I mean it’s great that they think there is so little harm I mean most people maybe wouldn’t wanna touch it but maybe someone would. But yeah for me it’s always been about throwing stuff away? But I’ve latched into that game if I do the compulsion and throw the clothes away? Guess what I already worried the floor will have the same germs so the washing machine is ruined anyway? My ocd has made me feel trapped. I know doing the compulsions makes it worse so 90% of the time I don’t do them. The compulsion would be for me to toss the clothes away a few months ago I would have thought this was rational to do this . So yes it’s very hard when I feel trapped, no escape from the ocd can’t do the compulsions I can’t stress how hard it is to get up continue my day as normal when it feels like my world has crumbled and ended? It honestly feels this way I said before the compulsions gave me a way out now that entrance has been blocked off. I Duno what to do? Perhaps it’s good for me I don’t throw stuff away but I’ve never known ocd to force someone into change positive change but it’s actually bad for my mind and stress becuase as I say I feel trapped and that’s an awful feeling?
  13. Yes you are correct it’s worse at home I mean I do have some ocd and wash my hands when I’m out but that’s all. Most of my germ worries are in the house and based on dirty laundry and toilet germs. I mentioned on my old house wet towels when I came out the shower were a red flag anxiety for me the toilet plunger is the same these are issues which make me believe the stuff is ruined or I have to avoid the plunger. I mean a bit of toilet water landed on the floor but that worried me less than the false thoughts. When my toilet broke the person went into the system and touched handles this worried me less. If it makes it easier here most of my anxiety is actually about falsely created thought. I can’t deal with the **** my head makes up if I think did I touch the plunger it’s not maybe I did or maybe I never it’s certain I did becuase I had the thought. This applies to most of my posts I have the thought and I believe the worst possible contamination.
  14. Yep I am struggling with this I keep telling myself it’s dirty it’s got toilet water but my worry is if I wash these clothes the clean clothes won’t come out clean anymore? Like when my partner touched the washing machine and the bin. I am spending my time worrying over if i did actually touch the plunger and if I did if I need to toss the clothes. I put clothes in my cupboard I am now worrying I need to move them. I mean I could throw the clothes but I’d prob still worry the floor is dirty. Crazy thing is I maybe never touched the plunger but my head goes on this journey.
  15. Well I have to try every solution to beat ocd it may mean some Cbt.
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