Captain Trips

This is my OCD theme also. My OCD constantly nags me that I can't remember something, or that I need to remember everything I said or did or what other people say to me. At its worst, this led to being stuck in the compulsion of writing down every thought I had as it came into my head as they happened and completely took away my life. Literally hundreds even thousands of thoughts a day or things I felt were important to remember. I call it 'memory hoarding' and is kind of like keeping objects I feel are useful or have sentimental meaning attached to them. Whilst it is still a problem for me I am getting better at leaving it alone. You WILL remember the important things.... As snowbear said, you brain is designed to forget all the non important things and the more you try to engage with this, the more unwell you will become as it is an impossible task.

There is no such thing as reverting back to 0 progress. Every time you try you are moving forwards.

Thanks Gemma.

That delaying tactic is always a winner! If I say to myself I'll deal with it later I either forget, or stop caring.

So psychotherapy finally got in touch with me today after 1 year since I started seeing my current psychiatrist. After a 30 minute telephone assessment of my OCD (which by the way is chronic to the point where I spend 8 hours or more per day on compulsions) I was told 18 months until someone could help me. I also suffer horrible depression, likely due to the exhaustion of my OCD. Was just wondering what other people's current experiences were with waiting times for NHS therapy and whether it may related to my location. (South Wales). Obviously, it's covid times, but surely CBT can just be done over the phone. Perhaps more people need CBT now for covid related depression? Who knows. I understand that people who are self harming themselves or others or at risk of suicide take priority, but it's sad that myself and others are left to be in pain for such a long time by a system that would rather just medicate us instead of healing us properly. NHS please get more CBT staff!!! Any recommendations to private therapists would be greatly appreciated. Not that I can afford it or anything.

I'm sorry to hear of your bad experiences of Rob Bray. That 13 minutes session would make me very angry and trust me I would be taking steps to get my money back. However, I've been following him on Instagram for ages and I think he has some great ideas. I watch all his videos and he never tries to sell his services like say a fitness trainer would (eg. here's some free exercises and click the link to buy a program) and he genuinely seems to have a vested interest in helping people. His new website does look a bit flash, but I kinda like the idea of being coached by someone who's suffered themselves... One of the ideas he has, that I find to be prevalent on this forum is the opinion that ERP alone is not enough; that we need to dispute the irrational beliefs underlying our fears and work on the cognitive not just the behavioural. Bread and butter eh? Would love to hear about other people's experiences with him as I was considering booking him.

Sorry, yes you're right. I was jumping the gun saying it was a fact and I didn't mean any malice. I should think more carefully before I speak! (There's a joke in there somewhere..) I suppose I'm just annoyed because face to face communication works better for me personally with regards to therapy and I'm angry that because of the pandemic it looks like online has become the new norm and I'm not going to be able to see an NHS therapist face to face. I remember a lecture I listened to from Noam Chomsky where he talks about how in communication between people, only a miniscule amount of what goes on in our thoughts is actually represented by language. For me personally I need the full experience of a person in front of me so I can make proper eye contact, notice their facial expressions, body language etc. I do however realise that this could actually make it more DIFFICULT for others though and therapy could actually be much easier over the phone or via video chat.

Sorry Albertina, that wasn't directed at you. Just my annoyance at the pandemic! I think doing therapy on video chat is ok, but consider you aren't even making proper eye contact with the other person.....

I disagree that online therapy is as good as face to face. We must be careful to not allow it to become the new norm. Human beings communicate better when they are in the same room - it's a fact.

Today I got up and I breathed. I live to fight another day.....

Meds can't get rid of the problem but they can definitely help give you enough relief to engage in therapy. Don't give up on a medication too soon, give it time for the side effects (anxiety being one) to subside

Just to add to this a couple of months later in case anyone's interested. I had to stop Clomipramine due to a massive increase in my blood pressure, constipation and a couple of incidents of full blown rage coupled with some pretty intense suicidal thoughts. I reduced down over about 4 weeks and it's been 2 weeks since last dose and I've still got the familiar brain zaps all day when I move my eyes, much worse so with any other antidepressant withdrawal. Conclusion: although clomipramine may work for some it doesn't work fo me and I fully get now why it's not first line treatment. Only other thing I've had that was nearly as intolerable both on and off it was Paroxetine. Next on the trial and error list for me is Fluvoxamine which I'm starting at 25mg daily. Good luck everyone

I feel your pain. Makes for some pretty horrible pillow talk doesn't it, especially when they've climaxed a few times and you're left desperate to finish! Even when the medication is obviously to blame, it's hard to 100 per cent convince your partner that it's not them. I never had too much of a problem with Sertraline, but Paroxetine was horrendous. Literally never happened. Clomipramine even worse; couldn't even do it by myself. I suggest you maybe look at other SSRIs, some might not be as bad for you. Also consider medication holidays, where you miss it for a few days and trade a bit of bad feeling for good feeling in the bedroom. It works for some. Most important thing is, sex can still be massively enjoyable even without an orgasm.

I'm actually having to stop Clomipramine now due to how it's effected my ECG and has also given me high blood pressure

Sorry for late reply, I didn't feel tired with it to be honest. My initial dose was 25mg followed by increase of 25mg every 4 days. Try and bare with the side effects and don't quit prematurel; it should get better

Yes OCD is like mental torture in itself so of course we understand. Some meds for some people can actually make you feel worse before they make you feel better. Discuss with your doctor, they'll probably tell you to stick with it and not come off at the first sign of side effects as they usual disappear or get better with time.

Anafranil is also known as clomipramine so search the forum on that. I personally take the maximum dose of 250mg and it has helped my OCD a little bit, but I am also trying to engage with CBT. I have quite serious sexual side effects from it, but it might not be the same for you. You need to make sure you get ECG checks before and during taking it, as it is known to cause heart abnormalities in some but not all people. My doctor insisted of this and so should yours.

I've been on clomipramine for 2 months now, started 50mg (25mg twice a day), now on maximum at 250mg (125mg twice a day) . I weigh 90kg. I feel it started to help me at about 150mg and I'd say now I have about a 50% improvement overall and am able to resist engaging in compulsions half of the time, which is great. Clomipramine is a TCA, and is much more likely to cause ECG changes, so my psychiatrist insisted my heart be checked before and during treatment. I had a normal ECG before I started on it and had another ECG last week which showed 3 different abnormalities, so I am expecting a phone call this week to say I've gotta come off them. The only side effect I get is inorgasmia, which unfortunately for me is a pretty major one. I've tried every other SSRI, bar Fluvoxamine, and also Venlafaxine and Mirtazapine, but clomipramine has been by far the worst for this. I also usually have a very high libido, which has literally turned to nothing. My advice is if you have a healthy sex life, then clomipramine may ruin it, but this of course may not happen for every individual, though it's pretty likely if you read the stats. The other bad one for this for me was Paroxetine, but clomipramine is way way worse.

I feel for you. Sounds like a nightmare. I'm not a therapist, but I'm assuming the reason you have such an extended ritual is your OCD telling you you're not clean enough. If this is the case, try not brushing your teeth for a week. You'll get horrible anxiety as a result, but as a result you'll get used to the idea of not feeling clean enough and realise that you can actually tolerate it a lot easier than you thought you could. Why do you think you are afraid of splashback onto your clothes?

It definitely focuses on the negatives. The most important tool for the powers that be is fear! I take a lot of things I hear on the news with a pinch of salt. When I was younger during the Kosovo war my OCD focused on it and I became obsessed that I would be conscripted and have to go and fight. This I'm sure came from constant televised coverage of it which my OCD latched on to. These days, whilst I have other issues, this particular obsession is completely gone, showing just how irrational it actually was in the first place. Oh and as for conspiracy theories; everything that isn't what the news claims is a fact is now labelled a 'conspiracy theory' when really most news is just someone's opinion stated as a fact. As is a 'conspiracy theory' - it's just another opinion. You are well within your rights to have your own ideas and not be labelled a conspiracy theorist. Unless of course you believe the earth is flat! ? ?

I also used to wake up in the middle of the night to eat. I think you'll find that anti depressants won't change your metabolism directly, only they increase the hunger and desire to eat.

I used to take Paroxetine 60mg with Mirtazapine 45mg, both of which can cause weight gain because they make you hungry. I initially gained weight, but then with careful management, I lost the weight I had gained and even lost a bit more. Mirtazapine would make me hungry within an hour of taking it, so I would take it right before bed and aim to fall asleep before the hunger came. Paroxetine, which I also took at night would make me hungry on waking, which was ok as i'd wake and have a decent breakfast, then go about my day. It's normal to gain a bit of weight when you first start taking these meds, but it totally can be managed if you want to or if you feel the need.

Hi Lost In Thought I have not had OCD about politics, but I have found that my mood is greatly improved if I do not watch the news and stay away from social media. I removed the Facebook icon from my home screen on my phone and found just by doing that I was less likely to automatically click on it. You may feel like you're being ignorant by not keeping up with current events, but if it's good for your mental health than that's the more important. Also remember that you can't alone do anything about world events and obsessing about them is not healthy for anyone, especially if you have OCD.

Watch this. ?

I like the 'OCD is a baby' analogy from Nathan Peterson..