Deal members,
I am a new member here and I found this website while trying to find some comfort for what I am feeling now.
Thinking about some episodes in my life I believe I have suffered from OCD since I was a little child, however I have never been to the doctor for that purpose and managed to proceed with my life and my fears quite well. Since I was young I am terrified with blood and needles. For me it’s always a pain to draw blood or to see blood somewhere, due to the diseases I can get if I touch blood or if a nurse uses a dirty needle on me. Avoidance and testing for HepC, HepB and HIV where the ways I managed my fears every time I faced some scary situation.
However quite recently I became a mother of a sweet little boy. I had to perform fertility treatments for that and after several unsuccessful tries we managed to get our baby through. For that reason this baby for me it is everything. Everything was perfect until we arrive at the point he had to take the 2 months old vaccination. I went to the hospital for that purpose and since it was a stressful moment for the baby and myself I didn’t manage to control the way the nurse prepared the vaccines to be sure she used everything clean (the way I do it for me every time I need to draw blood or something else). She gave the shots to my baby and since then I am super concerned she may have used dirty materials.
I spoke with my husband in order to get some relief and he said he didn’t control as well and that I am being totally silly and irrational while thinking they could use dirty materials. The true is that is difficult for me to think like him when I could not see with my own eyes. Since then I feel guilty and cannot avoid having this thoughts that the worst could have happened.
As a result, I am writing here to get some insights from people that really know what OCD is and to put my fears into perspective. Do you believe I am being irrational as my husband is saying? Does this look like OCD?