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OCD-UK Member
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About OnlyAlex

  • Birthday 22/07/1995

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  • OCD Status
  • Type of OCD
    Pure O, Checking

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  • Interests
    PCs, Music, Internet, Aviation

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  1. Hi, Thank you so much for your lovely reply, that means a lot. My binge eating and sleeping schedule seems to be constantly 'odd'. Although last night I took half of my evening meds on instructions from my Mum who is a doctor and I still managed to sleep, but with less sedation in the morning, and managed to get out of bed at 7am, so that's a start! I think sleep and binge eating are both very aligned, for example waking up from sleep late afternoon and then binge eating because I'm still sedated and hungry from not having eaten all day, and without having to prepare anything, chocolate, sweets and crisps are easy to grab and I get instant satisfaction. Also I guess all the sugar in one big hit wouldn't help either? Thank you, I will continue to not engage with the thoughts. Thanks again and hope you have a lovely weekend!
  2. Evening all, hope everyone is doing ok. I am struggling if I'm honest, so I hope you don't mind me all posting. I am trying really hard with my care coordinator not to give in to my OCD compulsions. I end up cleaning for twelve hours to get rid of my guilt. I am doing acting opposite to my emotions, such as guilt, if it's warranted then apologise and try and repair relationship or if not warranted to do nice activities. I feel pushed to my limits, lots of different situations have happened and I've snapped at people and am sleeping all day and my medication is so sedating, that I'm finding it really hard to try and get back on track with a sleep routine. I am also binge eating a lot. I am trying to deal with the above concerns, but it's not easy. I feel gross. The thing is, after having done my OCD compulsions, I have motivation to want to get up early and then after a few days that goes and I'm stuck in the vicious cycle again! I don't know what to do. I really don't want to give in to the compulsions, I am really aware now that it doesn't fix anything or make anything better, and spending twelve hours cleaning is really quite tiring, especially as I cannot eat or drink whilst doing the compulsions. Others say to me twelve hours cleaning isn't a bad price to pay and is a good thing because cleaning everything means you have a clean home. I don't agree with this as I find my compulsions distressing. I don't know what to do. I know I can't seek reassurance and refuse to ask my parent's if I've upset them and that I'm not a bad person, am I? I refuse to ask people that. So I'm trying really difficult. I think I know what the answer is. Continue to not give in and the anxiety will subside? When I wake up my anxiety for OCD is 10/10 and then as I get chores done until the end of the evening when I've eaten, tidied up, had a shower etc, my anxiety is only 5/10 for wanting to do the OCD compulsions. Will this anxiety lower over time? It seems to be a roller coaster at the moment, my anxiety for wanting to do the OCD compulsions, but the roller coaster never seems to get back down to the loading bay, if that makes sense? Hope that's an ok analogy! Any thoughts welcome. Thank you all!
  3. Hi Cub, First of all, well done for being brave and sharing with us all what you struggle with. I also struggle with perfectionism, so I know how hard it is. I don't have much to say, as I have severe perfectionism OCD and therefore don't have any tips, but I know that talking about anything that I have done that wasn't perfect is hard and I find writing things down helps. You're not alone. Sorry I couldn't give any more help, but I wanted you to know that you're not alone.
  4. I this mindfulness helps keep things at bay, and the more you learn about it, the more it can help you - it won't resolve all things, it just helps you like medication I think you cope with other events in life. Mindfulness can be just sitting down looking around at everything you have in your house, but doing it mindfully. I have also been having bad nightmares, I saw a news article that it currently is a real thing with the COVID-19 worries, it somehow links to poor sleep, so hopefully that will improve when the pandemic eases off. How did the CBT session go? Been thinking of you. A x
  5. Please don't apologise for not doing well. I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. We are here for you. Are you able to do some meditation or mindfulness and just focus on the here and now? I know it's easier said that done. You don't need to feel bad, I'm so sorry you're having suicidal thoughts. Are you safe right now? I am also feeling bad, guilty. The truth is this pandemic is affecting everyone and it's ok to not be ok, there will always be someone worse off than you, so it's time to put yourself to the front of the queue, or you will never reach it. What activities do you like doing? x
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