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OnlyAlex

Bulletin Board User
  • Content Count

    27
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About OnlyAlex

  • Birthday 22/07/1995

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Pure O, Checking

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    UK
  • Interests
    PCs, Music, Internet, Aviation

Recent Profile Visitors

160 profile views
  1. Hi and welcome to the forums. Rumination is a very annoying thing, when unwanted thoughts keep popping up in your head to start to feel like you're going crazy and you just want the thoughts to go. What I have learnt is to not try and push these thoughts out of your mind as the more you think about not thinking about them, the more you will. You need to learn to accept these thoughts, that's a technical term in therapy. Have a look at acceptance. I also find mindfulness really key to helping me mindful of this current moment and not worrying about the past or future, just the present and the sensations you're experiencing. Hope that helps buddy. Also, try Googling 'worry tree', this diagram also helps. Can you do anything about what you're worrying about, yes or no etc. and is the emotion justified.
  2. I understand your point, I don't know the situation but if that's the case I would just give up even commenting or trying to assist the user.
  3. Whilst I agree that we are not to help people give in to their compulsions, I do think the tone is a little harsh, in my opinion.
  4. Thank you for this, it means a lot. Indeed, both the zips on my jacket need fixing! Thanks for being there :)
  5. Thank you for the support and advice, that's really helpful! Thanks :)
  6. Hi everyone, I know this forum is really supportive but I struggle with bluntness and get very upset, especially as I've recently lost a friend and my parents are away on holiday. I am looking for support. I know you can't all give re-assurance, but I hope everyone can be kind. So basically, on a website a couple of days ago someone was verbally abusive to me and I got really upset. I also got upset with the moderator because I hadn't done anything wrong and I was getting told I may be suspended in future. The moderator was really nice to begin with and then changed their mind. Anyway, in the end the other user got suspended and I was allowed to stay because I hadn't done anything wrong. I got very emotional though and cross and agitated in my head. Then yesterday I was going to have a clam day because that threw me over the edge and my parents are away and without support from there I really struggle. I used my tips I had learnt to try and stay out of crisis but I really wanted to clean and do my perfectionism OCD routine which takes about 9-12 hours. I managed to resit. Yesterday I woke up, went to have a bath and then I got a telephone call from my Gran's emergency telephone line saying that she cannot see out of her right eye. I rung Mum and she said I need to take her to the eye casualty. I felt really upset and annoyed to begin with. My auntie was supposed to come down from America for two weeks to look after my Gran but she changed it to three days later from when she was due to arrive. My Gran is having this eye problem because she doesn't put her drops in. I drive down and put them in for her as much as possible. My sister lives right next door but refuses to help. Anyway, I was supposed to see the GP to get some mental health team support. I had to cancel this and was upset and feel guilty for thinking I want to go to my appointment. I raced down to see my Gran telling her to get dressed and she was happily eating breakfast which made me a little upset. I went and got change - £10 in change for car parking and then we went to the eye casualty. I managed to park fine and then we went in. We were in there for 7 hours. I was so bored, hungry, had no drinks because I had to be with Gran at all times just in case they called her in. I do feel very sorry for my Gran but I was left with it all. Then it was raining and dark and I went to get the car and the car parking came to £12! I didn't have that in change and the card machine was down so I had to go back in to the hospital and buy something and get change that did accept cards. I told my Gran to wait under the canope and she didn't. So when I came to pick her up with the car I stopped next to her without looking and I had stopped where the ambulances go! An ambulance managed to get past me but looked at me really angrily and I feel so bad now. I feel really upset. My zippers on my coat also got stuck in the fabric as I was in such a rush as my Gran was waiting in the rain. We managed to get home and then the pharmacy didn't have half of the new drops and they're all different times, sometimes 6x a day and different eyes. I was running around trying to make a plan in the pharmacy and then I went to get some dinner for myself and shoved any old ready meal in my bag. Is that bad? Finally managed to come up with a plan. My sister was cross with me for having to go in and do some eye drops and was cross with me but I had spent the whole day trying to sort things out! I didn't get home until 10pm and then my sister messaged me all cross saying why did she have to do bits and pieces etc. I felt very distressed and wanted to self harm. I've managed to get over my self harm urges but now I am struggling with wanting to do my OCD compulsions. I realise doing them changes nothing, it doesn't change the situation. But it does make me feel better. I am too tired though to do them. I had to take the day off to relax and try and get back on track and I am feeling better overall. Just the OCD kicks in. I've missed an OCD group, mental health support and appointments and so have lost out on all support for me. Sorry to go on. I feel guilty for feeling annoyed at first with my Gran, because I haven't got any help to help me through this all - I didn't understand what the doctors were saying and I didn't get time to address the concerns from the previous day about the abuse. I have a funeral on Saturday of my best friend and it's all too much. All these thoughts in my head, I can't address one at a time which I need to do and accept! Any kind advice would be appreciated. Sorry to go on! Thanks
  7. Hi SlowCoach, Thanks for your post. I am sorry to hear of what happened but I do not think it is a major problem. I think this is more of a worry of going against personal values rather than OCD? That is, unless you did some compulsions or you are obsessing over this thought a lot. I am not sure as I am not a doctor but to me I see the main thing here is that you went against a personal value? I also have a personal value to slow down and make way for ambulances, police etc. Not everyone does. Some people don't care. I think the fact that you are worrying shows you care. I am not going to say whether you made a mistake or not and unfortunately you need to accept that the Police cannot give information out. You could look at it as though by contacting them over the phone continually, if that's the case, (for information), that they cannot help other people? It is about acceptance. It is what it is and you cannot change this. You know for next time to stop. Hope that helps. Sorry if any of this comes across as harsh, we do not want to give you re-assurance on this forum that everything is fine as this negates against tackling the OCD.
  8. Hi, I do live alone. Thank you for replying. It's about it all not being perfect?
  9. Thank you, I live alone but thank you so much. Just trying to have my independence but I keep rebelling and don't know what to do.
  10. Hi everyone, really struggling with my OCD at the moment. I feel like the only way I can be happy is by doing my OCD compulsions. I struggle with perfectionism and everything has been far from perfect at the moment! For example, I left my dishes in the sink for a couple of days and I feel I need to do my compulsions to cancel out the bad thoughts. I didn't wake up until 4pm the other day and I feel bad because that isn't pro-active. I am just consumed by guilt all the time. Also, my Mum has been irritating me a lot recently, (I know she's there to try and help and cares about me), but my sister which is roughly the same age as me, now has a fella and just gets away with doing nothing and seeing nobody and now I've been lumbered with doing everything and seeing everyone and helping out and I'm getting told off for not doing enough. Just struggling. Any thoughts or word of advice, or even some things that you do that are messy would be great. Thanks all.
  11. Sorry about your OCD, huge hugs. Thank you. Means a lot. Seriously. I think just like anything a car will, as you said, make noises to indicate to you something is wrong or the lights will come on the dashboard. I have had the car looked at and the oil is great, battery is great, windscreen washer is fully topped up etc. I have an emergency first aid kit in the car, warning triangle, high vis and blanket for the cold weather. Safety is my number one priority and I think it's fair like everyone else to listen to the sounds and use that as information. I think that's a good idea about being realistic and that means a lot.
  12. Hi, I am doing a lot better with my OCD thoughts, rituals and compulsions, however, recently I have got a bit stuck. My car has had its fair share of problems. The clutch was going and I noticed and got that replaced. Then there was a recall on the car so I got the repairs done ASAP. I took the car to Halfords and they replaced the wind screen wipers but said the engine, battery, oil were all excellent. Everything is going fine and then my car started squeaking. I took it to a garage and they said it's nothing major, then I took it to the official garage for something else and they didn't pick up on it when they did a drive around to check the other issue they had fixed. The squeaking became worse so I took it to a very good, highly reputable garage and they said there were multiple problems with the brakes. Issue fixed. Now I'm worrying I've been driving around in an unsafe car. But I feel like I took as many steps as possible to mitigate the problem. I am now worrying about safety. The worst about my thoughts are that this could've been dangerous. I feel I need to take the car for two separate full enhanced services but this would cost £500 for both. I'm all over the place on this one. I normally think, what's the worst that could happen? Well, we all know what could happen in this case! Any advice appreciated! Safety is my number one priority.
  13. Thank you. Should I just do the compulsions so I feel happier whilst I wait for support?
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