SeaBreeze

1 minute ago, Kcbell92 said:

I’ve honestly had the issue since 2018. It hasn’t gotten any worse and it doesn’t hurt. I have to wait until the new health insurance. But how can I still enjoy my life with these issues is something I keep asking and not getting responses for 

I'm sorry to hear that, I think most people would think about that issue most of the time - I would. I think it's a genuine health concern is what users are trying to say, that's all.  

However, trying to resist those thoughts and keeping busy is what I find helps me. Hope this helps.

I agree with @howard and @northpaul, I would go and see a dentist. I'm really sorry it's uncomfortable and I hope you get the treatment you need soon.  

I’m going to ask for this thread to be closed as I don’t want people thinking they haven’t been kind to me and that I’m being ungrateful, a lot of people have been kind and I thank everyone.

Most of the comments have been in person with therapists and on other forums.

I recognise that I am the problem and I will try and focus on supporting others as I do recognise I am assurance-seeking all the time.

Many thanks.

3 hours ago, Bev53 said:

Hi, I'm sorry if you are upset. I'm not great with words and can perhaps come across as blunt sometimes, but I don't mean to be. I'm sure that's the case with some of the replies you've had. 

Ultimately to beat OCD we do need to stop the compulsions, I'm not saying that is easy, and I don't think anyone else is, but it is the case. 

Personally, I sometimes need reminding of this as I get so bogged down in the emotion that I often don't even recognise my compulsions. When we're in the middle of an episode it's hard to see the wood for the trees.

Also, I think it's hard to express tone and emotion in a message and I am frequently guilty of reading more into a reply than I should. Often in text messages from friends and family, I think someone may be a 'bit off' with me  and worry I've done something to upset them.  I haven't,  it's just me overthinking  a classic OCD trait.

Hope you're feeling a bit better.

Bev, you haven’t upset me at all. I’m sorry my post came across that way. A few people both on forums and in person say comments which can be uncaring and it gets to me - it’s been happening on other forums too.

Yes, that’s a good point about seeing the woods from the trees.

I do think some comments such as ‘just stop’ and ‘insignificant thing’ is a bit uncaring.

But as I said, it’s me posting about my technology all the time and I understand people get annoyed.

10 hours ago, PolarBear said:

I personally have not seen anyone on here say, just stop your compulsions. Maybe it came across as that.

There have been comments over the years which have said this and with therapists in person too - but thanks anyway for your comment.

Also other comments saying ‘just give it up’ and ‘insignificant thing’ is quite hard to cope with as it may seem insignificant to others, but to me it means everything.

16 hours ago, ocdjonesy said:

No-one said ‘just stop the compulsions’.  Neither did they say doing so was easy.

It’s a support forum for people with mental health issues.  Wires are going to get crossed.  Words are going to get put in people’s mouths.  There are times when people will be on edge and lose patience with each other.  

But no-one says ‘just stop the compulsions’ and I find it disingenuous to claim that’s the case.

I’m taking a break from these forums.  This has got my blood absolutely boiling so it’s clearly best to walk away and find something else to put my energy into - as per my own advice.

 

I have had multiple comments saying ‘just stop’ on threads on this forum over the years and I’m not talking just about people on this forum, I’m talking about other forums too and therapists which make those comments.

Even then I have made clear that it’s me who is the problem and I have apologised to everyone.

I am not at all saying you have said this, your support has been very kind. I think what you said about ‘wires getting crossed’ is very true as that’s the case I think here?

I’m sorry I got your blood boiling - that wasn’t my intention.

16 hours ago, northpaul said:

I have noticed the same thing.  Those that say ''just stop the compulsions'' are looking at things only from the OCD perspective.  If they were to look at people's wider mental health issues then they would not come up with such simplistic comments as ''just stop the compulsions.

This is an example of what I am saying above and clearly shows that we are not dealing with just OCD on these forums.

Likewise, I have depression, OCD and SAD.  Add in diagnosed CVD.  Simplistic comments like ''just stop the compulsions'' are very hard to stomach.

Look at the wider picture.........I would think there are many people on these forums who have wider mental health issues.  Let them have their say......

Thank you Northpaul for your kindness as ever. Yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head there and I’ve been feeling quite low so those comments both in person & online have been difficult to cope with.

Yes - I will ignore the minority and focus on those people who do leave lovely replies and are supportive.

I hope you’re well my friend and I love seeing you on the games thread with similar words.  

18 hours ago, Garfield said:

I think I do that a lot (.....).  Not sure what I meant, just to convey support and maybe ran out of words.

You don't annoy me, you care, that comes across.

I think you'd be a loss to the forum if you asked for your account to be deleted.  If anyone didn't want to read your threads or posts they don't have to, that is their choice.

I think you are in a rubbish and vulnerable place in your head and I really feel for you because it is a horrible place to be.

As Angst said, nothing to feel guilty or blame yourself for and don't let depression build ! 

I have variously depression, anxiety, OCD and suspect on autism spectrum as I regularly "mask" behaviours to fit in and it is exhausting.

Thank you Garfield for your kindness.

I’m glad that it comes across as I care because I really do.  

Yes, you’re absolutely right. I am in a really low place at the moment and I’m so sorry. I won’t delete my account I’ve decided, but I will take a break and try and support others as much as I can.

Masking is very difficult isn’t it? Sending you a huge hug. I hope you’re having a good start to the week.  

19 hours ago, Angst said:

I feel the same for you as you feel for yourself. People can be too blunt rather like the old joke ‘Pull yourself together’ the reply being ‘I’m not a pair of curtains’. I was going to reply to your thread saying that you have two conditions and each might reinforce the other. But I wasn’t sure if this was correct. But your post in this thread confirms it. I have a number of conditions that mingle together as well. Don’t let a third condition, depression, build up. Don’t feel guilty. Nothing to blame yourself for. People choose to read your posts and choose how their react. I really hope that you enjoy the rest of your holiday!

Thank you Angst. I realise that it’s probably me. Some therapists also say ‘just stop it’ and as you know it’s not that easy.

Thank you for your kindness, yes it’s most likely the Autism coming in to play now.

I hope you’re having a good start to the week and thanks for replying.

17 hours ago, snowbear said:

Hiya,

It's very easy to give advice, but I bet a lot of the people telling you to just stop it are struggling to 'just stop' their own compulsions too. We all know that's what we have to do one day to stop the misery of OCD, and we all hope at some point to have the strength to do it. But you're right, it's not easy. 

What kind of support do you think would be most useful for you at this time?

Thank you, that’s true. I think I will probably take a break from the forums. I don’t want to upset anyone. 

2 hours ago, howard said:

You're alright @SeaBreeze, you aren't annoying at all. It's just you have a very specific form of ocd which probably is part Perfectionism.

Also when you're effectively trapped in these repetitive thinking cycles they are hard to break out of. People may indicate the best way forward (incl: me) but that isn't always easy but it is something to aim for.

It would probably help if you try to be aware of what you are doing, like seeking reassurance online, although in reality does that reassurance help with your internal mental processes?

It can be helpful to talk about a theme I believe, just as a way of the poster getting a better insight by getting thoughts from others, or looking at different way of thinking, a different perspective.

Hey Howard,

I always appreciate you taking the time to comment - it means a lot pal.

Yes, you’re right. My OCD eats away at every second of my life at the moment. I have been having really low periods just obsessing over everything. My iPhone battery health dropped by another 1% today therefore setting off the loop again.

Anyway, sorry. No you always comment kindly without being too blunt. It’s just sometimes a few users are very blunt and therapists say ‘just stop’ and like smoking for example that’s never going to work. I guess it’s also part of the Autism. It’s my fault.

Yes - that’s a good point. I think I will take a break from all forums for the time being as I am seeking reassurance, you’re right and it’s another form of OCD rather than just worrying about the battery.

I am very sorry for those I have upset or annoyed with my constant posts about my iPhone or laptops and I also want to say it’s me who is apologising, I sometimes find bluntness really hard and I am the lowest point with my OCD.

The support from everyone who takes time to reply is very kind, I don’t want anyone now to think I’m being mean to people taking time out of their day to support.

I am rabbiting on, sorry. I may ask for my account to be deleted. Best wishes and I hope you’re having a nice Sunday. 

2 hours ago, Anni89j said:

This forum is great for some support when your struggling so don't feel bad. Hopefully you can get to a stage where you don't need as much reassurance but don't ever feel guilty when you do x

Thank you very much, that means a lot. I hope you’re well.  

3 hours ago, Garfield said:

I would think everyone on here should understand that it is not as easy as that.  It is complex.

I am sorry you are feeling really upset.... 

Thank you Garfield. Most people on here are very friendly, kind and supportive such as yourself.

It’s just sometimes people are very blunt and make it sound as though you just have to stop it and that’s the answer. I’ve been trying that all my life.

Compassion is essential with this cruel condition, some therapists are the same.

I’m not sure if the … means anything but thank you.  

4 hours ago, ocdjonesy said:

It’s not ‘easy’, no.  But it is the way to break free of the cycle you keep talking about.

The things you are doing are a choice.  Yes a choice born of a very strong impulse to do them, but s choice none the less.  OCD doesn’t make you *do* anything.

You’re the one who feels the urge yo do a thing then acts on it.

If you want to stop that you have to not do the thing.

Of course you also have to address the thinking behind the impulse that your worth as a human being is linked to your phone charging schedule but if you stop spending hours a day asking people on forums about your phone you’ll have a lot of time to do that.

Thank you for the insight.

1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

No one will ever say overcoming OCD is easy. 

Some people make very blunt comments making it sound like I’m stupid and that it’s obvious what to do, just stop it. It’s not that easy though, compassion is needed too.

This is also the same in real life with some therapists whilst others who are empathetic and explore reasoning behind it helps more. 

1 hour ago, ocdjonesy said:

Deleted. 

Good luck with your phone issues.

Not sure what you deleted? But thank you. 

I’m sorry everyone for posting all the time about my technology and for just not stopping the rumination and seeking assurance all the time.

I’m trying really hard but some people say just stop and it’s my choice whether I stop and it’s leaving me feeling really upset as that’s like telling someone to just stop eating if they’re overweight, it’s not as easy as that.

I am sorry for annoying people.

Sorry, I’ll stop going on. It’s just not easy or nobody would have OCD.

8 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Or... you could leave the topic alone, stop asking people here and elsewhere for reassurance. You are hyperfocused on an insignificant thing. It is taking up your time. 

Where has the 3 hours a day gotten you? Absolutely nowhere. So give it up.

I recognise that but it’s not so easy as I’m sure you can understand when your OCD is very severe. Thank you though for commenting.

15 hours ago, howard said:

When I said don't touch your tech...I mean you know all this is in your mind> so don't do any resets, don't set battery levels, etc.

Tech is an important part of our lives, but it's just a tool and a resource, it doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to work.

Work on this ocd obsession in your mind.

Thank you Howard. How are you doing? 

43 minutes ago, ocdjonesy said:

…

Ah yes, because happiness in life is intrinsically tied to the functioning of your electrical devices.

Seriously?  Do you hear yourself right now?  

Your life isn’t going to stop going round in circles unless you stop making circular choices.

Technology is really important to me and I am happy when it’s all working fine. If it isn’t, that makes me sad and I feel as though I’ve done something.

I know I do need to come off the loop though. I just don’t know how. 

51 minutes ago, ocdjonesy said:

No.  It doesn’t.  It looks like you have OCD.

You can reset your phone all you like but each time you do it you’re setting yourself back to square one.

Stop focusing on the phone and focus on your fear of being judged.  OCD is about avoiding discomfort we feel will last forever and that we wont be able to tolerate.

You break free from it by inviting the things you are trying to avoid in.  So leave your phone alone.  Welcome in the judgement.  Tolerate it.

You’ll spend your whole life trying to avoid it if you don’t.

Thank you. I know, my whole life goes round and round like this and I just want it to end.

Maybe if I do all my technological devices when I get back home everything will be perfect again and I can be the best person I can. Optimised battery charging will work and I can move on. Or I could buy a new phone, might make me feel better.

I’ve had a good think about this. I really don’t want to reset my iPhone and I don’t really care about the feature too much, it’s just I don’t want people to judge me.

I have spent three hours everyday of my holiday so far researching the feature and asking hundreds of people on multiple forums what they would do. I’m sick of my brain.

I’ve also been thinking about changing my charging habits just incase the feature never works again.

I am completely broken. Looks like I do have to reset the iPhone all over again.  

2 hours ago, ocdjonesy said:

I made a reply to you about this topic in the chat room thread.  Probably should have made it in here instead but I’m half asleep.  If you go read it we can pretend I posted in here .

No it’s my fault, I posted the same thing on two different threads. Thanks so much for replying.

3 hours ago, Garfield said:

Me too, I'd like to be normal and not worry.  Apologies for upsetting you.

I was too blunt.  I wanted you to see that it wasn't worth bothering about and OCD.  

My thought about the battery degrading ever so slightly over many, many years is, well they will degrade / wear out anyway.  Do you keep your phone for a long time or get a new one.  What I mean is, will you have it long enough to really notice / be bothered by it.

Anyway I really hope you have a nice holiday and can put all this to the back of your mind.  

I'm going on and on now, this is my tendency and problem so sorry for that also  

 

You didn’t upset me at all, I just know how stupid I sound. I appreciate you being direct with me.  

You’re not going on at all, you’re a very kind person to be supporting others whilst you’re struggling with OCD yourself. 

15 hours ago, deValentin said:

You're on the right track! Try to wipe the slate clean and have a fresh start with your vacation.

Thank you.  

19 hours ago, Garfield said:

Firstly I would not notice that "issue" at all.  As long as phone does what I need it too, I don't give it a second thought.

I am sorry to say I think your worksheet is a compulsion where you are trying to reassure yourself.  As is the way with OCD this probably works for a short time then you need to do it again and again. Or a variation of it.  I do the same, with my theme of choice, but it never quite manages to convince me for any length of time.  This is a hallmark of OCD, as is the false urgency to resolve the and I'm sorry to say this "non" issue.  As said I do it too and the result more and more OCD.  Less and less life.  Sorry to be so blunt.  It is so hard to break this habit.

Hope you are engaging with other activities and are able to have a nice time.

 

The iPhone does work, but if it never optimise charges the battery then technically it’s not doing what I kind of want it to do and has done in the past.

But I know it would be a software glitch rather than the iPhone being faulty. But I still can’t work out whether resetting the device if it never worked would be proportionate. I’m not sure it would be as the phone charges fine and the only difference without this feature working normally would be that the battery would degrade ever so slightly over many, many years. 

Thank you, you’re probably right it’s another compulsion. It’s so hard. I just want to be normal and not worry.  

Thanks for your honest advice and insight.