Bee Bot 19

Hi louloulou, I just wanted to say that I understand everything you are feeling and going through. Our daughter, now 11, saw CAMHS for her "checking" when she was in year 4 of Primary, so aged 8. CAMHS really helped and she has managed her generalised and separation anxiety well since then and through the Primary to Secondary school transition. Unfortunately Secondary school has provided too much uncertainty for her and she is now really struggling. Her checks are now monopolising the time she spends at home., and she is also now doing them on the walk to school in an attempt to make herself feel safe for whatever the day brings. She has found the normal year 7 friendship issues to be hugely triggering and is really struggling. Her checks are all around making sure everything is safe - so if her sister's bedroom light is on, it means she is there and she's not on her own upstairs. If she calls out specifically for me and I respond, then she knows I am still alive and haven't been taken. She has deep rooted fears of abandonment and loss linked to family bereavement and she has dreamt since this time of a witch that comes and takes me away. Or the witch might take over me and she won't know if it is me, or the witch talking. The checking starts from the minute she gets home, and escalates at bedtime - getting her out of her school uniform is tricky as if she's in home clothes, it means bedtime isn't that far away and she will do anything to ensure that she stays awake so that tomorrow doesn't come. We are really struggling as a family and my eldest daughter is finding it very difficult. We are doing our best to not accommodate the OCD but it is very difficult when she is so desperate - last night, she sat at the top of the stairs sobbing for us to hug her - the hugs are part of the checking and I feel desperate at hearing her, especially when every part of me wants to rush to her and provide that comfort. The GP has re-referred her to CAMHS but we've been told it could be up to 18 months to wait for even a decision as to whether she can be seen. I'm not sure I can offer any words of advice, but just reading your post made me feel some comfort that we aren't alone and so I hope mine can do the same for you.

Thank you so much both of you, we really appreciate your replies. We've had a tough couple of weeks and have an appointment with the GP next week to talk about a CAMHS referral. School have been brilliant and she's having art therapy once a week as of this week and we have the details of a local therapy place that support young children so will be contacting them as well. My husband and I have also contacted someone about some support for us so we can understand and help our daughter in the best possible way. Really useful to hear it from the other side in your responses so thank you.

Hi there, I am new to this forum. Our 7 year old daughter K has been suffering heightened anxiety and OCD tendencies for the past year. We (and her well-being worker) believe this was triggered by her older sister's tonsillectomy and subsequent stay in hospital - we lost my husband's parents and our dog the year before this and K found it very difficult to come to terms with, and so just shut everything out. Her well-being worker believes her sisters operation then triggered the feelings of bereavement, K was incredibly worried and panicked about the op and we think possibly because everyone else she has known who went into hospital, hasn't come out. She has had protective behaviours work through a local agency working with her school, and also was referred to the Children's Well-being Team for help with her anxiety - she was subsequently diagnosed with levels of generalised anxiety, separation anxiety and OCD that were above the clinical threshold. She panics and gets very distressed if I am not around or if I go out, or even if I'm not in the same room - she has many worries about me not coming back or something happening to me. For a long time now she has had dreams about a witch who comes and takes me to heaven in her dreams and I can't get back. This has led to what she calls her "checking" which is much worse at night - she has rituals involving looking at various things in her room, making sure things are lined up, touching things so many times, making little noises in her throat etc. She's very subtle with it at school and it's much much worse at home. We have been told that should things get worse then the next port of call is a CAMHS referral for her but we also have concerns about this. We do feel that her checking gets worse around times of anxiety (e.g. she had a school performance last term and her checking got much worse in the week before) but are not sure whether it is actually any worse than it was a year ago. We're looking into possibly taking her to see someone privately as there is a years waiting list for CAMHS in our area. I guess our concerns are that we just don't know enough about this - do we get on top of this now and get her some CBT? Or will this be making it into a bigger issue for her than it is? We are very open at home and both our children are very open with us so I do feel we are lucky that she is very honest about all this with us. We just want to do the right thing as parents and are a bit unsure where to turn. Any advice would be gratefully received, thanks in advance.