O Neg

The best piece of OCD advice I have ever heard is "If a thought doesn't give you inner peace, don't follow it!" I heard this on a James Callner OCD coaching video. The quote came from a lady called Sharon Davies who I believe is a therapist in the UK.

Thanks Closed for repairs. It's strange that this started last night. My anxiety has usually calmed down by now, usually replaced by something else. As my wife says, 'If it wasn't this it would be something else!' She, as usual is absolutely right. I hope it will pass.

Thanks for your responses dksea and paradoxer. With regard to the level of anxiety, my other posts showed a level of anxiety, but this appeared to be greater, that is what I am trying to say.

Good Morning Fellow Inmates, I am in the process of having a sleepless night, the first for quite a few weeks. The reason I am so stressed and anxious is because of a TV drama my wife and I were watching last evening. As most of you probably know 'Call The Mid-wife' is quite a gentle BBC historic drama. However, due to a scene in the programme I am really suffering. The scene, which only lasted a few seconds was of a mother and mid-wife with a baby. The mother affectionately strokes the baby as any loving mother would. However my perception of this is quite different. To me the mother is being inappropriate with the new born. Not only that, but some how my mind has created a false memory about when I was looking after a family baby around 15 years ago. Now I know that this memory is absolute rubbish, because if I had been inappropriate I would have known about it long before now. This is false memory OCD messing with my mind due to my false perception of a TV programme scene, I know that. My wife (bless her) has told me that the scene was not inappropriate in any way. It was just the way that I saw it. I know some members will accuse me of posting because I have a slight anxiety spike and that it will pass, but this anxiety is the real deal. I don't think I have ever felt anything like it.

Hello Nikki79, This is clearly very distressing for you. I know all about trying to do what you think is right and then wondering if in fact you did what was right. Just remember, you have a mental illness called OCD. It can and will get you to believe most anything. Read some of my own threads and see how I buy into the lies that are told by this most cruel of disorders. Please try to remember that what you are experiencing are intrusive thoughts, they don't mean you are a bad person. I know it is difficult not to dance with the thought as the subject; your daughter, obviously means so much to you. I have had similar problems with my children and now grandchildren. Think of it as your fight or flight centre in your brain going off at the wrong time and giving meaning to meaningless things. I hope this is of some if only limited help. Nearly everyone on this site is struggling or at some time in the past has struggled with OCD. You are not alone and what you are going through is by no means unique.

Hi Nikki79, You are not a terrible person. You have been (like many of us I'm afraid to say) fooled by OCD lies. OCD will always tell lies about everything. It's all about doubt, uncertainty and fear. It is quite capable of making you believe anything. Enjoy being with your daughter and niece. Don't on any account let OCD rob you of time together with those two special girls. OCD is a bully and should be treated with the contempt it deserves.

Hello Ollie46, I was looking through some of the December threads recently and when I came across 'Need some encouragement' it struck a chord. I have a very similar problem to your own. I won't go into details, but rest assured you are by no means on your own with this thing.

You are very welcome. Don't forget the video. I watch it at least once a day. James Callner is such a nice guy. He has done several coaching videos and I enjoy them and find them very useful.

Hello Nicola, To ignore the false information your brain is telling you is difficult at first. I mean I should know, if you have ever read any of my threads, I still have a hard time. It is possible however. It takes practice. A few months back, I was very much how you are today. My intrusive thoughts were running riot; they just wouldn't calm down. What I suspect you know already is that OCD is a liar. It always lies to you. In fact that is probably the only truth about OCD; that it always lies. I learn't a technique online, whereby when OCD is being a bully, one does a little bullying back. You see, OCD works on doubt. The doubt creates fear and anxiety your imagination takes over and then you feel overwhelmed. The method I use actually strengthens the left side of the brain; the logic side, as opposed to the right side of the brain; the imagination side. OCD always comes in the form of a question and that question is almost certainly 'What If?' What If this? What If that? What I have learnt is to answer OCD with the answer 'I DON'T KNOW'. OCD comes back and says 'What if this happens?' and I say 'I DON'T KNOW' It seems to me that the OCD bully doesn't know what to do with that answer! It is a tool, not a cure and for me it does calm the intrusive thoughts down. There is a video on Youtube featuring James Callner entitled 'How to Calm Your Thoughts. James explains it far better than I ever can. Good luck.

Thanks battlethrough. My family and I have had a particularly unpleasant Christmas, mainly due to my disorder. This has possibly been the worst festive season ever for us. Christmas is tough for everyone. I look at other people and I wish I were them; free of OCD. However, one can never be sure what baggage other people are carrying!

I think you would probably have to put some meat on the bones of your situation if you want any meaningful help regarding your situation. I suspect we are talking Relationship OCD.

My apologies Closed. My family and I have had a bad Christmas mainly due to myself and my disorder. I do not mean to take it out on you. Apologies again.

Sorry Closed, for your information I was searching for similar themes. This is one of the only times I have found someone with similar obsessions to my own. Yes it is 2009 and I hope this poor individual is now an ex-sufferer, I really do. Please be a bit more tolerant. I try not to ask for reassurance, only today I refused help from family members who thought they were doing me a favour trying to defuse a couple of anxiety spikes I was having. I sit with it and it fades.

Does the age of the thread make it any less relevant? Get off my case!

Hello Tinman, I have a very similar problem myself re the spitting and to some extent the kicking, which I suppose could be classified as a sort of harm OCD. I still have problems today, although in my heart of hearts I know OCD is telling me another lie.

Hello Guest rafafoo, Yes I have had the same problem regarding spitting. Its not just at people but things as well. The other day my sister in-law left my house after a visit. Although I voiced my concerns about me possibly spitting on her coat, my wife told me there was nothing wrong. Unfortunately if had began to rain when she left so her coat was getting a bit splattered. It made things worse. In my heart of hearts I know I would never do such a thing and my thoughts are just another OCD lie.

Hi Caramoole and Merry Christmas. Thank you for your input. Yes, I am aware of the truth of your words of wisdom. I just needed a reminder. Thanks again.

You are quite right PB. I do far too much analysis of these thoughts because they concern people I love. But I do understand the principal dismissal of such thoughts as irrelevant. Thank you for your input. PS why do I get such anxiety when I think about the slither of wrapping paper which ended up in my lap?

First of all, I am sorry to post this on Christmas Day. But I would like some help regarding understanding this. I know that those who are old-hands or ex-sufferers will put this down to another day in OCD Land, but please indulge me. This morning I was lucky enough to see all my grandchildren. I am so want to have a decent relationship with them all. Now I can handle the harm thoughts I have as regarding my grandchildren as being OCD posing the 'what if' or the 'are you sure you didn't' questions. Yes, they are OCD mind games and are to be ignored. Despite being upsetting I am fairly successful at doing this. However, something I experienced today, which could be 'magical thinking' I'm not sure. As I said above I saw all of my grandchildren today and my thoughts are mainly concentrated on my eldest grandson who is 7. He was sitting with me, on my left leg and was showing me a new toy, he then proceeded to open two presents my wife and I had brought. He then got down and I found a slither of wrapping paper had fallen in my lap. I picked it up and threw it away. My wife and I then left and returned home for our own Christmas lunch. When we got home I really needed to visit the bathroom to relieve myself. I was feeling quite anxious about our visit to see our grandchildren and I almost knew that a visit to the toilet would cause me stress. So, I went to the toilet, (I had to) and nothing strange happened apart from the thought of when handling my own penis, I had a vague thought of it belonging to my grandson. This was and is (at this time) very distressing. This is OCD telling more lies attempting to generate fear without a doubt, but if anyone could explain the thought process involved I would be grateful. I try to know the enemy as well as possible

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope your day is all you could wish for and for today tell the OCD to get lost. I would've used stronger language but it is the Lord's day after all.

Thanks very much for the advice. To be honest, I have cut out quite a few compulsions. So I no longer use compulsions in some of my activities, but there is still plenty of room for improvement. Merry Christmas.

Hello Ironborn, Perhaps, I mislead you slightly. The thought is your own, BUT nobody can control what they think. Having thoughts like these do not make you a monster. People have bad intrusive thoughts, which are by far, the complete opposite of how they really feel. The fact that it upsets you thinking these things goes to show that there is a big fat zero chance of ever acting on your thoughts. Just remember, THOUGHTS DO NOT EQUAL REALITY. OCD has a way of turning the nicest thoughts into horrible, dark and twisted ones. So it will have a field day with any dark thought you come up with yourself. The problem is OCD will lie to you every time. People with OCD are some of the most imaginative people. You would not believe what my OCD makes up to fit a situation. It nearly qualifies as a life form.

Hello Ironborn, I am sorry you are having such a bad time with your intrusive thoughts. I often have a bad time just having a comparative good time when I think I have this OCD thing beaten. My OCD is a number of different types all rolled into one. I have had, what is now known as OCD since my late teens and I am now 57. These thoughts you are having are extremely upsetting, but they are JUST THOUGHTS AND THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS. We have no idea why we think these things; I used to get sick to the back teeth asking myself and other people 'why am i thinking these things? Now what I find helps is a process called 'Name It To Tame It' When ever I get an intrusive thought, I say Oh! I know what that is. Its OCD playing mind games again! Name it as OCD. You know in your heart of hearts that is exactly what it is. OCD works on doubt and fear, but if you want certainty, this is it; OCD always lies. It will tell you lie after lie after lie. When you know this, the thoughts seem to lose some of their power. I can remember some 25 years ago or so I had similar intrusive thoughts regarding my toddler twins. The thoughts seemed real but were OCD rubbish! OCD will pick on the things we hold dear and that is why it hurts so much. I had no idea what was going on and nearly went out of my mind with worry and anxiety at the time. I know people who do not have anxiety driven OCD who have thoughts regarding their children and these people are some of the most level headed people I have ever known . The point is that everybody has intrusive thoughts, some are more upsetting than others, but they should be handled in the same way, whatever the contents. DO NOT engage with them (easier said than done, believe me, I know) Do not let OCD rob you of time of precious time with your son. OCD is a thief and will steal your life if you let it, again I know from better experience. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a Peaceful New Year.

Many Thanks BM94. I seem to have a high moral compass, which OCD latches on to. It is always testing me. I find it difficult not to give a flying hoot over these things. My OCD is a little different; it appears to be a combination of different types. It all seems to come down to Responsibility OCD; fear and doubt about what I do or fail to do which, in my mind, will affect my nearest and dearest, in fact I would worry if my perceived action or inaction affected anyone.

Wow! Another milk possible, but probably not contamination. This morning I blew\picked my nose into a tissue, gelled my hands, which is my custom or compulsion. A few minutes later I chucked the tissue away; the bin being on the other side of the bed. OCD works on doubt and fear. We all know that. My concern is did I renew my gel after throwing away the tissue? I would be very surprised if I hadn't. Too late now, I got up and prepared breakfast for my wife and I. I mentioned it to her, but she is totally unconcerned. She's wonderful isn't she? My goodness how I wish I was like her!