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Vicky

Bulletin Board User
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Everything posted by Vicky

  1. Hi @Mel1971 thank you for your lovely comments - it is certainly reassuring to know that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel- we have been waiting on an appointment to see CAMHS for over 5 weeks now so nothing has really been put in place to help my daughter yet. It is proving to be a very stressful time but we will hopefully hear something soon.
  2. Hi @gingerbreadgirl thanks for the recommendations - will have a look!
  3. Having been dealing with our now 15 year old daughter who has presented with symptoms of OCD we were leant a book (via the Dr's surgery) 'What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck' Dawn Huebner, Ph.D The Dr told us it wasn't really age appropriate but we as a family (particularly my 11 year old son) have found it very helpful and think it's a great resource for those struggling with younger children with OCD. It is written very well and presents very clear, concise explanations to help your child understand and process what they are going through. We are also finding 'Breaking Free from OCD' by Jo Derisley, Isobel Heyman, Sarah Robinson and Cynthia Turner to be a fantastic book. Definitely worth a read if you or a family member / friend is struggling with OCD. Does anyone else have any other recommendations?
  4. Thanks again @taurean, this was what worried me - I don't want to do anything at the moment that could cause more distress - I am letting her take the lead to some degree and if she expresses a want for further support from peer groups then I may then suggest the forums. But for the moment we are working through the book and taking baby steps towards understanding fully just how to deal with this in the best way for my daughter and our family. I really appreciate all the feedback I have received and take it all on board as we move through this process.
  5. I also appreciate your comments @Lollipop thanks! I can see how it would be beneficial knowing that you are not alone in your way of thinking
  6. Thanks for your feedback @PolarBear I understand the need for support and I want her to feel she is not alone. I will be suggesting the forums to her when I feel she is ready and if she expressed a need or want to reach out before then I would definitely support her decision.
  7. Thank you again @leif for your thoughts - you make perfect sense - it's so hard to completely understand and separate obsessions and compulsions but now that I have read further into the book 'Breaking Free from OCD' I am understanding more. You are right - it really is one theme driving the compulsions though perhaps slightly mixed. I think that her main theme is that she is terrified of the prospect of anyone she loves being hurt or dying. She is also scared of illness. Small progress last night when she actually switched her light off at 12:10am - much earlier than usual. She spent all day yesterday stressed and worrying - in a really high state of anxiety as she had fallen asleep the night before halfway through writing in her journal. She said that the intrusive thoughts were very vivid and upsetting all day yesterday as she believed something bad was going to happen because she hadn't completed her rituals the night before. Nothing bad happened - which has in turn given her a little more confidence in believing her actions won't affect the outcome of what happens the next day. However I know it won't be that simple, if only it was! Thank you so much for your lovely words and encouragement - it means a lot to know that this is something she can make steps towards recovering from
  8. Thanks for your response @taurean I really appreciate it. This is what has worried me - my daughter has so many different traits - she's terrified of being ill and the prospect of being physically sick, she can't even hear the word without being repulsed or scared. She washes her hands excessively, they are cracked and bleeding, she scrutinises every morsel of food and 'use by dates' - struggles with eating out unless she trusts the place she eats in, performs rituals every day, night which can take over 2 hours, writes words and phrases over and over again in a diary - overlapping to the point that it's completely illegible, pages and pages of scrambled writing, chews and picks her nails until they bleed or are sore, hates using specific numbers - so really struggles in Maths at school where she feels she has to apologise excessively for using them and is constantly seeking reassurance about food, cleanliness, relationships, lumps or ailments - I don't know if this is a particularly bad case of OCD or if all sufferers have multiple themes? We are currently reading through 'Breaking Free from OCD' and intend to begin working on some of the worksheets this weekend. Her rituals take up so much time in the evenings that in between those, homework, tea and seeing her friends she has very little time in the evenings. I think I will concentrate on the book to begin with and perhaps see how we get on - it's very hard as a parent seeing your child suffering and not being able to instantly 'fix' something - I walked into her room last night to check how she was getting on and she was sat there in tears saying she was really struggling to stay awake but that she 'had' to finish her writing - she definitely feels like it's not a choice ?
  9. Thank you so much for your response @leif - it's good to hear from someone who has been there and really understands - I realise everyone is different and what may help one may not help another. It's such a tricky thing to navigate when you are supporting someone - I worry that I do something wrong, something that will intensify or aggravate the illness. It really helps to hear things from the perspective of an OCD sufferer too.
  10. Hello, back again asking more questions!! ? The past few nights have been calmer - my husband and I are trying our best to be patient with our daughter, anger just doesn't make things any easier. I have wondered about letting her know that she could have some support online via specialist forums such as this one, which may help her not feel so alone throughout treatment and trying to battle her 'OCDemon' as she now calls it! I really hope that I don't cause upset by what I am about to say but I have to ask and need advice from those who truly know what it's like to 'be there' - I worry that she will discover new compulsions - are specific compulsions strictly inherent to one person or has anyone had any experience of hearing or seeing what other OCD sufferers are doing and following those behaviours themselves? I feel absolutely awful for thinking these thoughts but I just don't want her to get any worse - I know there are people out there who suffer far more and the prospect of her reaching that point is so scary. Particularly as we don't yet know how long it will be before she gets any counselling. I really hope my question hasn't caused offence or upset ?
  11. Thank you so much @gingerbreadgirl It means a lot to hear that - whilst I’m doing all I can to support her it’s such a scary time, I find myself worrying that I’m not doing all I can and feel so awful in moments of weakness where I’ve let anger and frustration get the better of me x
  12. Thank you again Gemma for your advice and words of support - it feels great to know others understand and want to advise. X
  13. Hi Gemma, thank you you so much for your reply - what you say definitely makes sense regarding the worsening of her symptoms. I ordered the book - Breaking Free from OCD, it arrived yesterday and it’s very informative. My daughter and I have spoken at length about how many other people her age suffer from OCD and have gone through some of the book together. We had a long chat today about what happened last night and she has made me aware of the fact that she is really worried about facing this head on, so I think that’s where the way she reacted last night came from - her actions were born from fear of treatment. We have talked about CBT and hope that we hear from the CAMHS team soon but I have been told it could take up to four weeks if not longer ? She really scared me last night - she has never shown any signs of self harm but she got so angry last night she marked her arm with the sharp side of a comb repeatedly. She seemed very remorseful and regretted her actions but what I found most worrying is she said it was like she couldn’t control what she was doing and now I am left thinking I can’t trust her to not do something like that again
  14. This past week has been pretty hellish - we have gone from being a family who never really fight to arguments every night. My 14 year old daughter who has recently been referred to counselling for presenting with OCD symptoms seems to be getting worse on a daily basis. How possible is it for symptoms to increase daily? Her bedtimes have been getting later and later, to the point where we are lucky if she is in bed any time before 1am now. We are so worried about how this will affect her ability to function at school. Tonight, as her bedtime routine/rituals take up so much time I suggested we remove her mobile phone at 9:30pm to allow her time to do what she needs to do before bed. This has caused no end of issues tonight - she can’t seem to accept that in order to fit everything in before a certain time she is going to have to sacrifice some of her own leisure time. Is it wrong of me to remove her phone at a specific time, by allowing her to do what she wants in the evening before she begins her compulsions - by not setting any time boundaries am I enabling her? I just don’t know - this is all so confusing. Any advice would be greatly appreciated...
  15. Thank you so much Gemma, though I would never wish this on anyone else it's good to know we are not alone in this battle. I really appreciate your words x
  16. Thank you so much for your responses Gemma and Ashley - I did notice the information about the conference on the website (it is actually on my daughters Birthday!!) unfortunately we just can't afford to consider coming to it as we live on a remote Scottish island ? so the cost of even travelling off island is considerable. The mental health team here is very stretched, all I know is she has been referred to the local CAMHS service, I am not sure there is even anyone who specialises in CBT here but will certainly look into it. I really appreciate the book recommendations and the leaflet - I have downloaded the leaflet and ordered one of the books. This all feels very overwhelming - my daughter has had lots of issues with bullying and friendships breaking down over the years and I wonder just how much of that is linked to what she is experiencing now. She is beautiful, talented and kind and I just want the best for her - I want her to stop hurting. I feel so grateful that she feels she can talk to me about what she is going through but I hate that I can't fix it for her ?
  17. Hi all, this is my first post so not really sure where to begin. My daughter is 14, almost 15 years old and her mental health has progressively been deteriorating over some time. She has always been a worrier, all her days - she has a phobia of sickness (vomiting terrifies her) so that was perhaps the first symptom I would say she had of OCD. However more recently we have discovered that she has to perform rituals every night before bed, she has to write repeated phrases in a diary, predominantly apologies for things that have happened throughout each day (even if they are not bad things) over and over - so much so she has books where she has written so much in it's completely illegible. Just words/phrases on top of each other over and over and over. She has to tuck her curtain into the corner of her window, her bed needs to be organised a specific way with so many blankets placed on top of it in a specific order, she has to finish her drink at a certain time and the very last thing she must do is brush her teeth. If something happens after that she has to brush her teeth again. She says she has to do all these things every night (it can take almost two hours) before she can sleep because if she doesn't she thinks someone she loves will get hurt or die. She washes her hands compulsively at school as she is worried about germs (she now has broken skin all over her hands due to over washing), over analyses everything she eats, best before dates etc which makes eating out very difficult. And she needs reassurance from me about everything, constantly - every relationship she has, every lump or bump that appears, change in weight, feeling poorly etc.....it's so hard to reassure her. I took her to the Dr recently in the hope we could get some help for her - she has been referred to a counsellor urgently - however the waiting list is long and the likelihood of her getting seen anytime soon is slim. She has confided in me recently that she is finding this all very overwhelming and wants it to stop but I am struggling to know how to help her - if there is anything anyone can suggest, support tools, books, methods I would really appreciate it as I know the mental health teams are stretched hugely where we live and I am not sure we will get any opportunity to see a counsellor anytime soon.
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