My primary ritual is toileting. Completing routines around urinating and counting, time, orders - especially before bed. On good days il be in bed after 2 hours of completing this, but if interrupted by anything, LITERALLY ANYTHING, I have to start again and before I've had the time to blink day-light has returned. I struggle so much to find support around this because I guess it's not the 'norm' so anyone I've ever shared it with cannot understand the rational. My routine has been the same since I was an infant, I think originally it made me feel safer going to bed as night time, as I felt terror around night time. I've always had to hide it, I've been ridiculed by those who know, where their firm attempt for me to 'just go to bed' has left me feeling trapped and alone, with these thoughts and it couldn't have pushed me further from achieving just that. I don't know what I'm expecting from posting this, I feel discouraged that another person may have the same experience, but I guess I hope to share my story with others who understand - if not specifically, but the general torture that comes with OCD thinking. Thanks for reading xoxox