Blossom750

Hi caramoole, Yes I definitely automatically start observing what he's doing even if he just walks into the room , but I try to communicate as normal , although I find it hard to have physical contact like a high five , I'm trying to start off slow , I hope I can keep to it . Thank you I really appreciate the help.

Thank you caramoole, I will try to avoid all these compulsions , it's going to take a lot of practice , because I always end up doing them again. Thank you I really appreciate the replies.

Thank you snowbear , your right , I shouldn't distance from him at all, I just don't want any of it to be true which is why I did it.

Hi everyone , I haven't been on here for a while to try and avoid the compulsion , but also because I have recently been more relaxed and I actually had a few days where I felt like I didn't even have OCD or anything wrong with me , at one point I even started to be believe maybe my OCD was a misunderstanding diagnosis , but then recently something new crept up. This is going to sound really weird and I'm sorry if it makes anyone uncomfortable. I was in the garden with my brother last week and he was playing around ( he's 9 ) and I started to tease him like siblings do, later my grandma started showing me how to plant and I realised he has sat directly opposite me , and he was staring at me , once I had caught him staring the first time he looked away, then he did it again and this time he give an awkward smile , I couldn't help but to think people only do this type of stare when they are attracted to someone , and then I started to think maybe he is attracted to me ( sorry I know this isn't pleasant). I thought it was my OCD so I just ignored it, but I also realised his behaviour around me has changed , he is nicer to me than usual and tries to walk beside me all the time or sits near me , and also still stares , which he never used to do , this got me thinking that maybe it's not my OCD and he is attracted to me , as my OCD cannot explain his behaviour. I later asked my mam if she had told him to be more polite towards me because I was going through a tough time but she said she hadn't , and that he may be acting this way because he knows I'm always upset about things right now , but I don't know if this is the case , I'm really scared , what if he is attracted to me ? After all he is only 9 and Im not sure if most children understand the idea of incest and it being wrong , can someone please help me I'm really struggling out here ? I'm going to start distancing from him just because I'm scared of what's going on , I hope this all isn't what it seems. Thank you.

Hi cub, I'm sorry your feeling like this , but please don't give up , keep fighting , your strong. Suicide means leaving loved ones behind that will miss you , and everyone here also loves you and cares about you , please keep going. We will beat OCD together. I really hope you find a light through all this and come out the other side stronger, but please don't give in , you have my sympathy and love

Yes that's pretty much accurate, I tell myself I'm not going to look and then end up looking and it keeps on my happening, and sometimes I do it automatically. I appreciate your support Hdigtts, Thank you.

Thank you dimmerswitch , I just find it so difficult to cope with it , I understand I have to find a way to manage it , Im definitely going to try laughing at it more , hopefully it might work , I remember I tried this last time , but when I did it , I had the thought that I was laughing at it because I liked the thought , so I stopped and I ended up going back to the anxiety, im going to get CBT in 10 months as I'm on a waiting list , I'm just trying to keep fighting until then. Thanks again

Hi Hdigtts, I really can't help it , everytime I look at someone it's the first thing I do , and sometimes I start to think it's okay , I wish I just didn't happen , I hope I don't start to make others uncomfortable. I didn't think my OCD could actually make me look where I don't want to , it manages to surprise me everytime.

It's happened again, but this time it was when I saw my aunty , I really don't know what's happening anymore , I feel so ashamed of myself.

Hi everyone, I know I have mentioned something similar to this before and I was told it's my OCD but it's coming back up again and I'm starting to ruminate it all again. I had an issue where I think my OCD made me look at peoples private parts and it happened alot on my own dad , I know this is disgusting and I tried to avoid him everywhere I went because of this , but now it's started playing on my mother , and I accidentally looked up and looked at her breasts and now the whole thing is happening again so whenever I talk to my mum the only thing that runs through my head is you looked at her breasts, and I end up doing it again , I'm really scared of this , i don't know what to do , I spend loads of time around my mum so this is really hard.Does anyone have any idea how I can control this ??? Because it's taking me away from the people that I love , I don't even know if it's my OCD anymore , it seems so much like I'm just a terrible person. If anyone has any advice on what to do , it would really help. Thank you

Thank you Cub , and I'm so sorry your feeling the same way because I wouldn't want anyone to feel like this ever. I hope you also find the light at the end of the tunnel, I also suffer from religious OCD however mine is about constantly having intrusive thoughts about God himself and some other teachings , like you said it's very scary, it distracts me from my prayer , I just try not to give them a reaction , but hopefully everyone here suffering from whatever they are suffering from, will find there way out, thank you very much , I really appreciate your reply, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone , even though sometimes the only thing I can do is feel alone. Please keep strong too and never give up, like you said, you have family that cares , never give up even if it's for them.

Yes thank you , thank you everyone , this forum chat is definitely one of the best things that have ever happened to me , the amount of support on here is Amazing , I really appreciate it all !

Thank you Hdigtts, I will do my best !

Pinklemonade 1237 , I try to do as much as I can to distract myself but i just end up finding something in what I'm doing that will become intrusive. eg ,watching TV , it distracts me but then hearing a certain word even just seeing a child on TV triggers my thoughts , I feel like there's no way to escape at all. I want to keep fighting but it always finds a way to make me feel so down. Thanks for you advice it's really appreciated, I'm still going to try and distract myself.

Hi everyone , I'm back again , a bit earlier than I wanted as my last post was only the other day , I just wanted to say I'm Sorry for coming back so often and writing such long posts , just sometimes it's my only form of help, I think it's getting to the point where I'm giving up now , Im starting to feel a bit suicidal. Everything has been so heavy for me this week, my mind is just keeps telling me I'm attracted to anyone , literally anyone , my own sister ,brother parents other family even old people who are stranger's to me. Im so ashamed of what I have become , today I had an uncomfortable urge of attraction to my sister who's 7 , and because we are close she's really clingy and likes to hug and kiss me , I don't know what to do as whenever I'm with her I just feel like I shouldn't be at all because of everything that goes through my mind, the same thing happens with the rest of my family , yesterday it was about my cousin who's 3, I felt like a pedophile , I wanted him to leave so that I just couldn't hurt him , everything is becoming so hard that I just want to isolate myself somewhere away from everyone , my OCD finds it's way to destroy me in my prayers to and as a religious person it's so hard to not think about it or to avoid giving it a reaction. I know all the things I'm supposed to do like don't react and breathe when all these things happen , but I can't do it anymore there's way to much to handle , and the thing that scares me the most is sometimes I have a feeling almost as if I like what I'm thinking of just like denial and happiness it runs through my body and it makes me give up even more , because I just don't know what to do anymore.. I just feel so lost and empty. Thank you to anyone who's reading this , I really appreciate it alot.