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Agrippina

Bulletin Board User
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About Agrippina

  • Birthday 14/07/1986

Previous Fields

  • OCD Status
    Sufferer

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Scotland

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  1. I have recently started to see someone new and on top of all the typical OCD fears and scares I have become very stressed about the possibility of catching Covid from him. Is anyone else experiencing this, and what do you do about it? We are both sensible and taking all the advised precautions, both fully vaccinated etc and I know technically I could just as easily get Covid from someone sitting next to me in a cafe or sneezing close by. I am trying hard to ERP it as just an uncertainty that I need to put up with, but I suppose the problem is really that this is effecting how I behave with him. I am constantly trying to ignore all these fears while also trying to be in the moment and enjoying being with him. I think it is making me distracted and nervy when I am with him. Sometimes we will be talking and it is just so hard to ignore/put up with all the fears and thoughts in my head that I can't focus on what he is saying, then I start picking at my hands and looking worried and I find it very difficult to get back into the moment. Anyone got any advice or experienced something similar?
  2. Do you mean Pure by Rose Cartwright? I literally just started reading it this evening! So far it seems to be well written but I have found it very triggering... I would be happy to discus it once I am finished.
  3. Just wanted to say how helpful I found this thread. I have just started dating a new guy and I am terrified of having to tell him about having OCD and how it impacts on my life. I think the advice above was great and it has helped me feel a little bit calmer about my own situation.
  4. I really liked The Imp of the Mind, Break Free from OCD and The OCD Workbook. All very helpful and I learnt a lot.
  5. I suffer badly from this type of OCD fear. It is incredibly difficult but it is very important not to stop and do any checking. Over time you learn slowly that these are OCD fears and not memories of things that have actually happened. I know that doesn't sound very helpful but it does gradually help to lessen the hold these fears have on you.
  6. I actually had TMS treatment a few years ago but at the time I had an incorrect diagnosis so the treatment was just done for depression and not OCD. It didn't work for me which I put down to it being for the wrong diagnosis so I have no idea if it would be any good for OCD. The treatment itself was expensive, really time consuming and there was v. mild pain (during the treatments). The time consuming part was incredibly hard for me at the time as they saw me 5 days a week for 3 or 4 weeks - the actual appointments were short, but being severely depressed and riddled with OCD fears at the time I found it very tiring and difficult to make it to all of those appointments. When I saw recently that TMS now included OCD among the things it treated my first thought was to wonder how it fit in with CBT? I could see it being positive if used in conjunction with CBT but my personal concern would be that people would just do the TMS, maybe feel a bit better but not learn the CBT coping techniques for when anxiety/OCD/depression hit again in the future.
  7. Welcome to the forum! I am really sorry you are struggling, OCD is foul... Hope the forum helps a little - for me it shows me that the horrible fears I have are actually not limited to just me, other people get them too and they are all due to OCD. It makes me feel a bit less alone with it all, hope it helps for you too.
  8. I used to have a lot of fears like this after nights out, even been scared (for no legitimate reason) that I had HIV a few times. Classic OCD. Alcohol seems to make anxiety, depression and OCD worse for most people. It certainly did for me. I cut it out completely 2 1/2 years ago and it has helped me, though I appreciate not everyone wants to cut it out altogether. Also although cutting out alcohol has helped me it has has taken medication and CBT therapy to actually deal with the OCD so it wouldn't be enough on its own to make such fears go away.
  9. Thank you. That sounds about right - a really good day and then the OCD starts to niggle away at it, or in this case smash into it suddenly. I need to keep telling myself it is the OCD, that it is feelings and not facts, and to keep calm. I am currently feeling really scared but that is not evidence that anything negative happened.
  10. I am working towards getting a job and my own place again this summer, have been doing CBT with ERP for 2 years and am on medication. I am generally improving and doing largely okay. I made a few friends during lockdown and yesterday we hung out together all day, went out for lunch and played boardgames, it was great. I then went to stay at my sister's flat, we chatted and had takeout and it was fine. Then like a sledgehammer I had a horrendous night - huge spike in OCD fears about all sorts of things, felt the sort of fear levels I used to feel when hungover despite not having drunk anything, awful and vidid nightmares and this morning a massive sense of things being wrong, having done wrong, having done something awful I can't remember etc. I know this is all fairly standard but I have been really thrown off by the sudden smack of it. I am trying really hard to be rational about it and I suspect the sudden spike of OCD fears was due to a whole day of socialising when I am not used to that. Please give me your opinions and also if anyone has experienced a sudden spike like this themselves. I have been reasonably steady for a while and this has freaked me out and scared me.
  11. I gave up alcohol a little over 2 years ago now - it was a great decision and has definitely helped my anxiety.
  12. That is amazing! It is also just the encouragement I needed to hear about this morning so thank you.
  13. Hi @Blondie. I have actually suffered from very similar OCD fears myself. I know how real they can feel at the time. Something that I have learnt from CBT which I find very helpful is repeating to myself "Feelings are not facts". So when you have these thoughts and feel scared, panicked, sweaty with fear, itchy with terror, shaky, etc those feelings are like your body telling you that you should be scared of the thoughts you are having, essentially telling you to react to the thoughts in all the checking ways you are currently doing. However, feelings are not necessarily facts - just because your body is reacting as though you should panic does NOT mean those signals it is giving you are correct. So when you get the thoughts and your body reacts to make you feel scared that is the OCD at work. It is hard but you must tell yourself that just because you are having a physical reaction of feeling fear etc does not mean that that is the appropriate response - the OCD is sending your body false signals. I am not sure how well I have explained it, but when I feel all panicked and my chest goes tight and I feel all sweaty and shaky with fear I tell myself "Feelings are not facts" over and over and try to distract myself. With practise it really does help because naturally we want to believe the signals our body is giving us regarding how to feel etc, but the OCD messes the connection up.
  14. Stumbled upon a new 3 part radio programme where the actress Tuppence Middleton talks about OCD with professionals. The first episode is pretty good - I thought she was very eloquent and the doctor she spoke to was fairly good at explaining it. Here is the link for any who want to listen: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000v2rw For me it feels kind of amazing to hear a woman about my age who is successful and doing so well in life talk about her OCD. I have always felt such shame, guilt and terror in even telling people I have OCD, so to hear it openly discussed like this felt quite significant to me.
  15. Having CBT over the phone sounds like it would be really hard. I am currently getting CBT therapy over video calls which is okay, but I really miss being able to see my therapist in person as I do think it makes it easier. I have been having therapy now for over a year and a half. I have found it very helpful and it has made a huge difference to my life. Personally I found it took quite a while before I noticed a difference, but that may have been because I was very depressed at the time as well. It took several months for me to notice a real impact, but it did happen so if things are slow please keep trying.
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