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Nikola Tesla

Bulletin Board User
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Everything posted by Nikola Tesla

  1. I also get doubts that I haven’t put in enough detergent. Then I get doubts that I have. OCD is a BLEEP will tell you one thing and then the opposite which confuses me.
  2. Yes, maybe your right. A lot of my last sessions were psychoanalysis. But what about washing the clothes doubts. This is where I waste most water because I got the sort of doubts I mentioned in the post and many more.
  3. Hello Thanks for replying. I was getting help in the past. I had nearly 25 CBT sessions but I don’t think it was with the right therapist because I only found out after that the main treatment for OCD is ERP and we didn’t do that. This was in 2019 since then it’s got much worse. I also got physical problems now like incontinence and back problems. I don’t eat properly. I can’t cook because I will have to wash whatever I’m using and that takes me ages. Last time it took me 2 hours to cook a simple pasta meal. Have really bad skin problems from the washing - both of arms and hands are dark red and skin is peeling of. I’ve tried 3 SSRIS all on maximum dose but they didn’t work. Now they put me on Clomipramine which I’m going to start this week. If that doesn’t work then don’t know what I’m going to do, so hard to hold on.
  4. Hello I have a few doubts and obsessions about doing the laundry which drive me crazy. Here is one of them. I know it might seem weird but these doubts feel so real. It feels like a thousand bullies and you feel so powerless. You get new obsessions/doubts/fears or the old ones become much worse and then you have a whole set of behaviours to control them. You get constantly exhausted/fatigued from thinking about the obsessions/doubts and from the compulsions. This particular one is washing clothes inside out. So if for example I put a t shirt or any other garment (trousers, shirts, bedsheets, underwear etc.) in the wash inside out will the outside of it get washed is well and vice versa? I I have fears that whatever side I put it in - outside/inside out the other side won’t be cleaned. I also have doubts/fears if the pockets will be washed.
  5. I am using a electric. Actually they are very splashy or maybe that's the OCD making me hyper aware of everything.
  6. Because I'm worried if the toothpaste gets splashes on my clothes then it won't come off my clothes. If I touch my clothes contaminated by toothpaste and touch something else or brush against something else then the contamination will spread and I won't know what's contaminated and what isn't. Sounds stupid but that is what I have to go through with everyday not only toothpaste but bodily fluids and chemicals.
  7. Hello One of my OCD problem is brushing my teeth which is a long ritual and so many rules which takes me 25 minutes and I have to do it in stages. I've damaged some of my teeth because of this. I wanted to work on this with my therapist but she wasn't helpful and told me what I knew already which is to brush them for 2 minutes. But she didn't help me get to that time. I'm also worried about the toothpaste splashback which makes me panic. I have to change and wash my clothes if this happens. I have doubts especially when brushing the back of the front upper teeth because I can't see them. I once managed to reduce it to 10 minutes but for some reasons it's 20-25 minutes now. It's feels incomplete when I stopped brushing. When I went to see the dentist they told me I still had plaque on some of my teeth. How can someone brush there teeth in 2 minutes and do a better job than me. Does anyone else have this problem or know anyone that does. How do I overcome it? Thanks
  8. The therapist used to encourage me to talk. I started talking about philosophical questions, movies, books etc. It wasnt all her fault. She didn't stop me. My family used to tell me off and say you don't go there to talk about these things and that your getting distracted. You go there for treatment. When I didn't talk and wanted to focus on the session she would make comments like your moody today or your not yourself and then tell me off if I started talking about other things. When the therapy first started she was asking me about my past which is fine. I think she trying to find out how I got to this stage which linked to low self esteem and low confidence. I wanted to work on the behavourial aspects of the OCD and not focus on the past because I can't change that. I told her I need a anchor. Because my brain is not functioning properly and hers was. With the hand washing we practiced it together. We went to the sink and she showed me how she washes her hands and how long for. I copied that and reduced the time from 5 to 2 minutes. I stuck to that ever since. With the practicing the showering there's very little she can help with which is understandable because I don't want to see her take a shower but we did rehearse a little. With the toothbrushing I asked her if we could work on that together. She said she would bring her toothbrush in and show me how she brushes her teeth and then for a few sessions we would work on correcting that problem. When it came to the problem she changed her mind. She said we'll draw up a chart and then every week we can moniter the progress you made which I was already doing before the sessions started and that wasn't helping. She said it takes 2 minutes to brush your teeth. Well I bloody already knew that so why is it taking me 15. It was taking me 15 then now it's gotten worse. The lowest I've been able to cut it down to is 10 minutes now it gone to 20-25 mins
  9. Sorry I wasn't haven't a go at u. Just explaining some of problems and frustrations.
  10. Thanks for replying. I'll respond to the rest of the post later but right now I'll talk about the meds. I did try 3 meds. 2 antidepressants and 1 anti psychotic. I recently just came off 1 of them. They normally take 3 months to work. I was taking them for 8 months which is 2 years. I took the anti depressants on maximum dose. I increased the dose every 6 weeks. With the anti psychotic I had to stop it because the side effects were too much. Right now I'm trying CBD Oil. I've been using it for a week. The only problem is that it's so expensive and I don't know if it'll work. I hope it will. Time will tell. The best treatment for OCD is a combination of CBT and SSRI. The meds act as water wings or a crutch but the real treatment is CBT. But without the meds the CBT is really hard. That's one of the reasons why I think the therepy failed.
  11. Thanks for replying. Yes but to do all these activities and to go out is so difficult because I need to get ready which can take ages. My OCD is very bad when it comes to some things... Brushing my teeth: Which takes me 25 minutes and I have to do it in stages. I've damaged some of my teeth because of this. I wanted to work on this with my therapist but she wasn't helpful and told me what I knew already. I'm also worried about the toothpaste splashback which makes me panic. I have to change and wash my clothes if this happens. Washing my face: I literally waste so much water when doing this and my clothes and the floor are all wet. Is there any point? Using the toilet: Imagine trying to hold your pee in while trying to clean the toilet floor and the toilet just to use it. I have to keep sitting down to get control of my bladder before continuing to clean until I can use it. These are just some problems. Would you want to talk or come in contact with someone who hasn't brushed there teeth and has bad breathe. Smells like death because they haven't showered in 1 or 2 months and haven't washed their face. I think not A normal persons wakes up and there first goal is to get to work, finish work, do whatever, have dinner, get a good nights sleep. My goals for the day is to just use the toilet, brush my teeth, wash my face which takes ages and at the end I feel so tired that I don't have the energy for anything else.
  12. Hello I've been suffering with OCD for years. Recently it's got really worse since my Mum passed. I tried 2 antidepressants on maximum dose 8 months each and they didn't work. I also tried a anti psychotic (Quatiapine) after the first anti depressant which made my symptoms 10 x worse. So basically the medications aren't working. I also had nearly 25 CBT sessions. Out of 10 they helped around 3/10. The therapist used to encourage me to talk. This was the wrong idea because when you do that I could go on forever. This also distracted me from why I went there which was to get help. The only thing I think she really helped me with was reducing the time it took me to wash my hands. So if was 5 minutes, I reduced it to 2 minutes. All the other problems are still there... Washing my clothes, showering, using the toilet, brushing my teeth. My condition did improve a little, I think mainly because has someone to talk to and someone who would listen. The therapist also put me in contact from a worker from MIND. She did this to help get me in a routine which she said would help with the OCD. The worker asked me what I liked doing or what I wanted to do then helped me plan it. I said I wanted to go to the gym so we went to check out some of the local gyms and on the 2nd day we had a free trial at one of the gyms. He also was going to put in a support group which met every week and a befriending service. Since my Mums passing everything seems to have fallen apart and my symptoms have gotten way worse to the point where it takes me 4 hours to shower and 2 hours to use the toilet so sometimes I go 1 or 2 months without showering and I don't really eat or drink anything because I can't cook and if I do it takes me ages because of the OCD. I also don't eat or drink because then I have to use the toilet which takes 2 hours. My compulsions and worries take up most of the day. I haven't been out for ages. I have no energy and I always feel tired. OCD zaps it out. I really don't know what the next step is. I do want help but there is very little a GP or family can do.
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