Gemma@OCDUK

Hi SilverAce, Welcome to the forum I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with a few different themes of thoughts at the moment, that can be really difficult. The best place to start would be to look into treatment for OCD, if you haven't done so already. The current recommended treatment for OCD is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). CBT looks at the meanings someone places on their thoughts and feelings and how they can react differently to them. The goal of CBT is to help someone become their own therapist, so when thoughts or feelings come up, they have the tools to deal with them and not get stuck the OCD cycle. Some people with OCD also try medication, which for OCD is a type of antidepressant called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). It is absolutely a personal choice whether to try medication and there is no obligation to try it. Usually, the first step would be CBT. If you are an adult in England then you can self-refer to your local IAPT service, which you can find here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/ If you are elsewhere in the UK, then you would need to speak to your GP about a referral to your local Community Mental Health Team (CMHT). You can talk to your GP about medication for OCD too. If you want to start now, it might be helpful to understand what your worries are and what your compulsions are, maybe try writing them down if you can. Then you could look into a self-help book like Break Free from OCD https://www.ocduk.org/shop/break-free-from-ocd/ Gemma

Hi Beccy, Unfortunately, the project is only funded for the East Midlands so locations will be Derby, Leicester, Nottingham, Northampton and possibly Buxton or North Nottingham, so it would mean travelling. Gemma

Hi Jim, Welcome to the forum! I agree it is really really sad. It's also not surprising right? We aren't going to care about things we don't care about. It's the clearest sign that it is OCD, and we can use this fact to ignore all the worries and doubts when they do pop up. Have you looked into accessing any treatment for OCD? Gemma

Hi Ian, I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with OCD and arfid. It's really hard to say what the right stance to have on this is, because I suppose it depends on why your daughter wants to have a different meal. If it was an OCD only based problem, accommodating the OCD would not be helpful, as in the long term it could make things worse. The best advice is to discuss the problem with CAMHS to see what suggestions they have. If this hasn't happened already, it might be also helpful if you daughter has pre-agreed the plan, therefore at times like this you can remind her that you are just doing what you all agreed and that you are there to support her through it. Gemma

Hi, Just talked to Ashley and he said we will be doing something this year, it might just be on an ad hoc basis. I hope this is good news, I know it isn't every week but it's a start Gemma

Hi Cans01, Welcome to the forum I'm not a health professional so I can't offer a diagnosis, but I can say that what you describe does sound like OCD. You have worries like 'did I say something wrong' which would be your obsessions and you think things over and over, which is a type of compulsion called rumination. You also mentioned that you have other things that bother you too. Have you looked into any treatment for OCD? Gemma

Hi everyone, It's only natural to miss the groups, I will miss them too. Just remember that you are not alone and we are working to get the groups up and running again! We will be hosting our conference on November 27th and 28th this year, so that will be a good chance to feel part of the community again, while we wait. Gemma

Hi 1LittleFoot, As far as we know if you transfer from one borough to another, you will go to the bottom of the waiting list. As a lot of therapy is remote at the moment, is transferring necessary right now? I know you mentioned that your other son has an occupational therapist, is this something you could address with your son's current mental health team? Gemma

Hi DrummerDan, I'm sorry to hear that your wife is struggling so much with OCD, particularly while she is pregnant. It is often an already stressful time and OCD can only add to that stress. It's good to hear that your wife is beginning to get help through her local mental health service, as it sounds like she would benefit from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) at this time. Unfortunately, getting an STI test will only fuel the OCD further so it is not something we would recommend, as it really sets an unhealthy standards for any future toilet visits. Have you looked into any self-help books together, Break Free from OCD https://www.ocduk.org/shop/break-free-from-ocd/ is a good place to start. We do have some presentations from our online conference that you might find helpful, Helping a loved one with OCD https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/helping-family-member-with-ocd/ by Lauren Callaghan and Understanding why people with OCD do what they do, and why other people get involved https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/main/understanding-why-people-with-ocd-do-what-they-do/ by Mark Freeston. I hope this is helpful, Gemma

Hi agreatsummer, I'm really sorry to hear that you're finding things so tough at the moment. It sounds like OCD is really impacting on your daily life. Have you looked into accessing any help for the OCD? The current recommended psychological treatment for OCD is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which looks at the meanings you place on your thoughts and feelings and how you can react differently to them. The goal of CBT is to help you to become your own therapist, so when thoughts or feelings come up, you have the tools to deal with them and not get stuck in the OCD cycle. You could also speak to your GP about medication for OCD. The current recommended medication are a type of antidepressant called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). How effective they are does vary from person to person and often it can be trial and error to find one that works for you, but some people find that they can help reduce anxiety, and make it easier to challenge OCD in CBT. We do have some resources on coping with OCD and Covid-19, our member's magazine https://www.ocduk.org/april-compulsive-reading/ and a conference presentation here https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/breakout/ocd-and-coronavirus-themes-and-survival-tips/ Gemma

Hi Katherine, I'm sorry to hear how much your husband is struggling at the moment and how much it is impacting on the whole family. Unfortunately, Covid-19 has affected many people with OCD, so we know how hard it can be. Have you spoken to him about accessing further CBT for OCD? If he is in England then he can self-refer to his local Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) service. To find his local IAPT service you can search here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/ We do have quite a few resources on coping during the pandemic, perhaps you could look at some of these together, to at least begin discussing seeking help again. We have our member's magazine that we made free to everyone last April https://www.ocduk.org/april-compulsive-reading/ We also have a presentation on Covid-19 here https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/breakout/ocd-and-coronavirus-themes-and-survival-tips/ It's really important that you also look after yourself at this time, try to remember that it is not your responsibility to fix your husband, and that he does need to choose to reach out for support. If you can try to have an open, honest conversation about how the OCD is impacting on you and explain that you want to work together to tackle it. Anger and frustration can happen when there are high levels of anxiety, but that doesn't mean that it's acceptable. If you can try to take some time for yourself, however small it might be, it can make all the difference. Gemma

Hi, Yes as far as I know some of the therapists are offering in person CBT, but it will vary from person to person Gemma

Hi Chihuahua, I do know there have been CCG approved referrals to OHSPIC, but there is no set time frame, as it really depends on the individual and their CCG. If you are struggling with accessing OCD treatment then feel free to email OCD-UK at support@ocduk.org and we will do our best to help. Gemma

Hi Salaam, I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is struggling with hoarding problems at the moment, I understand how much it can impact on everyone. Although, many people with hoarding difficulties do need practical help, often the underlying reasons that they feel the need to hoard need dealt with before they feel able to discard items. I would suggest that if your daughter feels able, she should speak to her GP about a possible referral for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which will help her to address the underlying meanings she places on the hoarded items and help her challenge the feelings she get's when acquiring and discarding things. There is a helpful book called Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding by David F. Tolin and Gail Steketee that may be a helpful starting point, if she doesn't yet feel ready. Gemma

Hi Louis, It's really hard that you haven't seen your girlfriend since your holiday, it can be hard maintaining a relationship when OCD gets in the way so much. Obviously, if your partner needs space then you need to give them that, but then it really is your choice what you do moving forward. When she gets in contact you could begin by encouraging her to access good quality CBT that gets her able to live life free from OCD. If the therapy she is having on the NHS isn't working then she can ask to see a different therapist within the same service. We know that sometimes people will see two or three therapists before they find one with the right approach or expertise to really help them. She might also want to seek a medication review with her prescribing doctor. You could also agree to read a self-help book like OCD, Anxiety and Related Depression https://www.ocduk.org/shop/ocd-anxiety-related-depression/ together. It is written by Adam Shaw a sufferer and his therapist Lauren Callaghan. Adam struggled with OCD around thoughts of harm for some time and Lauren helped him to recovery. It also includes a little section by Adam's wife that you may be able to relate to. Gemma

Hi CSPW, Yes, avoidance is a common compulsion for those struggling with OCD. Unfortunately, like all compulsions it doesn't help in the long term, because a person avoids learning that things can go alright if they were to continue as normal. But in the short term while your daughter isn't getting the support she needs, it is understandable that sometimes you might have to do things for her. It might be helpful to learn a little more about OCD together, we have a great presentation here https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/ocd-a-introduction-for-parents/ that is a good way to learn more about OCD. I would suggest going back to CAMHS and asking them for an assessment for your daughter. You need to be clear that CAMHS believe the anxiety isn't caused by OCD. If you need a second opinion then please do ask for one. There is a specialist CAMHS service is South London at the Maudsley Hospital https://www.slam.nhs.uk/our-services/service-finder-details?CODE=SU0264 who we know treat young people with OCD and ASD, and this may be an option going forward. Gemma

Hi Fran, It doesn't sound like you want everything your own way, you just don't want to live in an environment that's controlled by anxiety, which is natural. It sounds like you also want that for your partner too, which is a great place to be. It can be really helpful to have a partner who wants to understand and support you through the process of tackling OCD, particularly when you often involve your partner in some of your rituals. A good place to start might be to look into a self-help book like Break Free from OCD. It's written by specialists in the treatment of OCD and is a great way to learn what OCD is and how to challenge it using CBT techniques. It might be a good way to begin considering therapy as a solution for your partner's OCD together, and help begin the conversation with him. We do have presentations on helping a loved one with OCD that you might find helpful too; Helping a loved one with OCD https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/helping-family-member-with-ocd/ by Lauren Callaghan and Understanding why people with OCD do what they do, and why other people get involved https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/main/understanding-why-people-with-ocd-do-what-they-do/ by Mark Freeston. It's absolutely important that you feel able to reach out for help and support should you need it, so please do so. Talk to friends or family about how you're feeling, go for a ten minute walk out of the house, anything that maintains a healthy mental wellbeing for you. Gemma

If I don't listen to OCD, these feelings will pass

Hi CSPW, I'm sorry to hear how much your daughter is struggling at the moment, it sounds like it is impacting a lot on day to day life. We do know that the prevalence of OCD amongst those with ASD is high, so it is possible that your daughter could be struggling with both. It might be helpful to watch our conference presentation on OCD and ASD here https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/ocd-and-autism/ to get more insight into recognising both conditions. You mentioned that CAMHS can't help because she needs ASD support, is your daughter currently getting support for her ASD and did you seek a referral to CAMHS or did you just contact them yourself? Gemma

Hi there, Welcome to the forum I'm sorry to hear that your fiancé is struggling so much at the moment. We do know that many people have struggled during the pandemic and having a family bereavement must have made the past few months even more difficult. It's not unusual for OCD to affect people more at home than elsewhere, this is often because we can control our home environments, therefore feel a responsibility to do so. You mentioned that your partner is on a waiting list, is this for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)? While he is waiting he could look into trying medication for OCD, which are called Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs). Some people find that SSRIs help to take the edge off their anxiety, to enable them to fight OCD more easily. If this isn't something that your fiancé wants to try, that's fine, medication is a personal choice. You could both look into self-help materials like Break Free from OCD https://www.ocduk.org/shop/break-free-from-ocd/ which explains how OCD works and how to begin challenging it using CBT. Sometimes reading things together can be a good way to begin to discuss what you're both finding hard at the moment. We also have some presentations from our online conference that you might find helpful, Helping a loved one with OCD https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/family/helping-family-member-with-ocd/ by Lauren Callaghan and Understanding why people with OCD do what they do, and why other people get involved https://www.ocduk.org/conference/conference-map/main/understanding-why-people-with-ocd-do-what-they-do/ by Mark Freeston. Gemma

Hi PK90, It's hard to be specific about what behavioural approaches are used in CBT as it really does depend on the individual and what compulsions they do, or things they avoid as part of OCD. The most typical behavioural method is the theory A/B approach where you look at an alternative explanation of your problem. Probably the best way to learn about this approach is in the self-help book Break Free from OCD. Gemma

Hi Fran, It's great that you want to be a team and if you do speak to him about how you're feeling then I think that's a great way to approach it. Has your partner ever had treatment for OCD, which would typically be Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with or without SSRI medication? If he doesn't feel ready to access treatment, do you think he would look into self-help material so you can make a start together? Gemma

Hi Fran, Welcome to the forum I'm sorry to hear that you're finding it difficult to live with your partner at the moment. Does your partner have OCD? It's possible that his problem with coats hanging up or moving cushions is due to some sort of worry or 'just right' feeling, which is when it may be OCD or it may be something else. Have you spoken to him about how you're feeling? Gemma

Hi thistooshallpass1996, Tourettes and OCD are related conditions, in that a significant number of people with Tourette syndrome also have OCD. As Felix mentioned, tics are not something that can be challenged like compulsions in OCD. I have never heard of compulsions becoming tics and the things you describe sound like compulsions. Compulsions can seem almost automatic. Because as we get used to doing them, we become faster and faster at reacting to intrusive thoughts and doubts. But we can still stop doing them with the help of CBT. Gemma

Hi Claire, If you're in England then you can self-refer to your local Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) service without speaking to your GP. IAPT is the first step in England to accessing CBT for OCD. You can find your local IAPT service by looking on the NHS IAPT database here https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/ Sometimes multiple services are shown, so try to make sure the one you pick is for those registered with a GP where your GP is based. If you are elsewhere in the UK then it would mean making an appointment with your GP, for a referral to your local community mental health team. I know how hard it is to get an appointment but keep persisting as CBT really is worth pushing for. In the meantime it might be helpful to look into a self-help book like Break Free from OCD https://www.ocduk.org/shop/break-free-from-ocd/ which is written by specialists in the treatment of OCD. It is a great way to learn what good CBT looks like. Gemma