Roopoo47

I no but i guess it’s the certainty that my fear is will the authorities no what i saw. That is the fear unknowing. EVEN though i did not type in that always carefull when i type in anything. Just to be clear what i presume i saw was a person a lot younger than me. Then the the thoughts come in. What if that was a really young person. Then the fear sets in what if the police no what was on my screen. Then the rumination of checking like now for certainty. Thanks for your reply.

Thanks (stage nerves ??) makes sense i will be ok on the day after a few. I just have to face it and go and still keep in contact with my friends and not be that friend that avoids going away places. Which i have done in the past. Weirdly since when my daughter was born i got nervous going away.

Hi i have my first actual day and night stay over this weekend with my mates since the pandemic. I always seem to have for years dread even stag do,s etc. i always worry before hand if i do something i regret or i can’t take banter. My anxiety in the build up to this event has got stronger each day. I have many what ifs. What if i,m the main subject of banter, what if i can’t take it and have bad anxiety and react angrily. This did happen a lot of years ago. I think it’s stemmed from that occasion. What if i,m sharing with someone that i don’t really no etc. what if i get angry and make myself look stupid. I no when the actual day comes i will be prepared and ok ish. But i don’t want to let it ruin my day out with my mates. I am counting the days also when it’s over also. Then i will latch onto the next worry. Thanks

Hi so correct (after the storm ) i do have books but over the years it’s just the same thing. But like these (spikes) they are very hard to ignore hence why my brain wants to solve to get rid of that horrible feeling. I get this with (Harm)

Hi my recent posts did actually feel really horrible these extreme spikes i all it is when the anxiety is sever from thinking of the worst is going to happen. Only certain worries cause this. Ruminating is a ****** that you can’t get out off, i presume that’s why we do compulsion to get rid off that horrible feeling. Since when i was 10 i can remember all these big spikes even up until now (44) not every worry produces these big spikes. Others are manageable. To think of your worst fears coming true is horrendous. My old worries from these big spikes like i say. Now i think ? why did i worry about that. But in that worry it’s so real that it will come true, or you think you are this bad person(label) my recent worry is still in the background so trying my hardest just to let it be there and think positive thoughts more confidence basically, it’s hard to do mind. My thoughts still want to remind me we’re still here.

That is a good explanation right there ?. Like us all in here. Doesn’t matter what our worrying is. Like i have experienced all these years with CERTAIN worries that produce the biggest anxiety and depression then you need that release, then the uphoria from the release. Is that were the cycle comes in, i bet everyone on here can remember exactly when there OCD started like me.

Hi reason i,m saying this as it’s absolutely HORRIBLE. When i get these horrendous spikes i can remember everyone in my life time. We’re you really have to act and solve the problem to get out of this horrible feeling. The worst ever. Not all ocd worries have these exact horrible feeling. Like my recent worry on here. Like when i was a kid when the worry in my mind was the worst ever. We’re i had to confess to get rid. And so forth.

Hi mate is it a certain individual that’s annoying you. Best thing is not to react so easy for me to say that. But in mine we get on ok. But at the time i was giving as much he was to me. (Banter) but it was going to far. I ended up getting a high from it. Then the come down was **** really ****. Agree that i agreed in my head if he says anything that triggers i just ignore and laugh. It worked. Getting angry does feed the problem and then person giving it. ?

Hi posting again but on a different level off anxiety. Not as much. I was talking to a work colleague yesterday she was fed up and we started talking i gave her advice and then i opened up about my struggles then out off the blue, i confessed my recent worry that had plagued me for the last wk and at work yesterday constantly for 12 hrs. Very exhausting, told her my concerns why i,m worrying about this subject. She says **** does happen. Don’t worry about that it would just make you ill. Which it was doing. Advice on here also was great. But why does it sometimes feel like why did i spend all that time worrying. I wouldn’t say i,m out of the woods yet. It’s still slightly niggling. But better than yesterday. Just thought i,d share this. 1. I need to move on from this worry it was years ago. 2. We both agreed not to say anything. 3. It was a mistake. 4. Don’t spend checking on social media too much as this sets you off. 5. If it comes out deal with it then. Thanks.

Thanks Marie ye your right i no i can’t guarantee it getting out but after 6 yrs why would it now. Just my ocd making me believe it will happen or come true: but if i avoided the team i wouldn’t be facing my fear, just act normal i suppose.

I no why i,m worrying it’s because i,m making it feel real again as if this secret would get out. Going over and over if he finds out that his wife cheated or my wife finds out. 6 yrs ago. I no nothing will be said as it’s forgotten about from her side it’s just my mind reading that she will one day say something or she might be uncomfortable when say we play in the same footy team. This is what my ocd is doing , going into overdrive way all these scenarios. Why can’t i just let it be. I mage a big mistake which obviously i,m sorry about.

Hi i need to stop this recent worry obviously it’s affecting me as you can see from my recent posts. Like someone said i need that 100% certainty that nothing will be said ever. (Cheated) the guilt has resurfaced. I keep worrying about the future if it comes out. I deserve to be punished, but i haven’t confessed or ever would. But it doesn’t stop me from worrying about the what ifs. Sorry for repeating this.

Ye i won’t confess i no it was a bad mistake it just feels because i am worrying it seems real again like 6 yrs ago. And because i,m mind reading it makes it feel real what i,m thinking. I need to let this go.

Hi again my ocd has flared up from past events which i regret.the urge to confess everything is horrendous i won’t confess as it cause so much heartache. I had a drunken slight sex fumble we’re it was me doing all the fumbling and massaging. It was around 6 yrs ago. She said at that time we’re ok as i txt her as i was obviously feeling guilty and needed reassurance. She said yes we’re fine it just needs forgetting about. Which it has. Because my guilt has risen again all from social media. We’re i post stuff i think on purpose so if she likes any we’re still ok. She’s married are am i.i don’t want anything from this as we haven’t fallen out, she obviously regretted it. But my confessing guilt has surfaced again. Almost believe because of how i feel i presume or mind read her that she hates me or she will spill etc. She’s good friend with my sister i have known her for a long time. We slept together a very long time ago when we were much younger and single. From her posts she is very happy in her relationship so she should. I feel guilty for him. There will be a time we might be playing in the same footy team next year. Just how i will react. This was triggered Friday morning when a photo i posted she tagged someone in it. I replied to her about my picture as it looked odd. She didn’t reply. So that has triggered my OCD. Sorry for maybe repeating i don’t want it to ruin Xmas for my family.

Hi i,ve had similar experience with work banter especially with this known bully retiring next year. He knows i won’t take any **** as i have it back big style but that only made me feel worse. I think basically is to just act is if it doesn’t matter. Even if it feels terrible inside just try not to get angry as this will show they have won. Easier said than done. Martial arts? Which one. I do akido well not since March ?