Saudade

I totally understand. Its that feeling like you have to carry out the thought in order for it to leave you alone.

It wasn't related to ocd. But pocd.

Please help

I'm drunk and I have to finally confess and purge. I typed some words I shouldn't have during peak pocd. I was a idiot. I felt the relief was once search was clicked then I felt the urge complete. Luckily nothing illegal came up nor did I have any desire to see anything. The obsession and the need was to see that it DOESNT come up as ypu search. I'm **** scared you'll call the police or I'll be monitored. The same thing happened when the word abortion stuck I'm my head. I felt like I couldn't rest till I actually went on Google and saw/read everything about it. But googling abortion isn't illegal or sick. Please try and understand, I'm not a pedo nor did I see anything nor did I want to.

Thank you caramoole. The fire thing came from a Jeff bridges interview a few years ago lol. The gist basically is doing like a child doing/touching something they're not meant to. You tell someone don't look back and their reflex is to look back. They can't resist it.

But the dark part? Please tell me others go through it. The physically discomfort in your tummy. Awareness of hands that could actually do harm. The only way the anxiety goes away is the self fulfilling prophecy. You HAVE to do the the intrusive thought you're afraid off only then it will be OK. Not a compulsion to avoid but compulsion to actually do then very thing (pull the hair etc) Like telling someone don't put your hand in the fire and it makes them do it more and then there's the relief that it's done but you've burnt yourself or hurt a person or dog.

Yeh i stay away from him alongside constant rumination and worry with what if scenarios.

I've struggled with pocd and the rest for a while but while having a few drinks last week my intrusive thought was hurting my dog. Pulling his hair while stroking. I moved away from him but today the feeling is starting up again and I'm starting to stay away from him. I feel abnormal because I don't have compulsion to do rituals. In fact my compulsion is the ocd telling me to do the actual act I'm afraid of. Only then will that restlessness and anxiety end. If the compulsion to hurt is fulfilled. Help please! I'm trying to keep positive because I somehow have survived pocd and other stuff tborugh medication and finding others like me. Actually finding out there is a name for my condition. I just want this dog harm ocd to go away ASAP!