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AshleyP

Bulletin Board User
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  • OCD Status
    Sufferer
  • Type of OCD
    Contamination, intrusive thoughts, magical thinking

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    South Wales

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  1. I did, thank you. I sent her the one-pager I put together on what I wanted to get out of it and she said that was a good idea. I think it really helped to distil in my mind what I wanted too. We didn't have a session this week and she was on holiday but we start getting into it properly next week. She said it will be a uncomfortable ride which doesn't make me enthusiastic but I guess that's what you'd expect really.
  2. Thank you all for you help. I have done as suggested an d compiled a short document of what I want to get out of the sessions. It's actually really helpful in distilling the problem and how it is impacting my life and those of others. I'm also reassured that having it on Teams will be just as effective as in person. First session this afternoon. Fingers crossed.
  3. It's been a while, partly because I've been so busy which for OCD is no bad thing. But I just got a call to say my therapy will start on Monday a year and a half after I got on the waiting list so I'm so relieved. I don't know what to expect other than that it will be over Teams. Not ideal for rapport but at least I don't have to drive to the next town I guess. I'm so nerous because I have kind of pinned everything on this. It feels like my last chance to get better yet I know it will be limited to a maximum of twelve sessions. I've had OCD and emetophobia for 30 years so it's hard to believe it will improve in just twelve weeks (or fewer). I'm also doing it without SSRIs as I stressed out for so long about taking them that the doctor knocked them off my prescription in the end and I don't have another appointment until February after two were cancelled. I am on Mirtazipine though for a physical ailment but I know that at my dose it's also used as an antidepressant so I'm hoping that's enough to take the edge off during therapy. I want to make sure I have the right mindset going into this to give it the best chance of working, but I can't help being sceptical and I hope that doesn't hold me back. Does anyone have any tips for getting the most of of therapy or advice on what to expect?
  4. I don’t take it wrongly at all. You’re only telling me what I know and that’s the scary but. Thank you for your thoughts this evening.
  5. Hi Summer, not sure I have any advice exactly except to say I’m in a similar position. I have tickets to Eurovision and I’m so anxious being around so many people but I’m hoping what will get me through is my strong desire to be there. Try to hang on to the fact you really want to be at this gig as your motivation.
  6. That would be brilliant, thanks. At what email address should I contact you?
  7. You are, of course, spot on. And that’s how OCD gets you. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. The other thing I’ve noticed creeping in is a weird acceptance. So once the decision is made to miss something because of fear if I later am given a way I can do it safely I tend to feel no I’ve made my decision, I’m not doing it. Like I expect not to be able to do things and I’m finding my way to enjoy what I do have like a night in front of the tv when I should be out partying. I don’t think that’s the right attitude.
  8. They have noro which I would rather die than catch. I have just been told by the organiser that she did not come to the event and will not be there tomorrow but the problem is what if she wakes up and thinks I feel better and comes anyway. I have never met her so I don’t know what she looks like to avoid her. I feel if I go I may claw back a little something from the OCD bully but equally I could go, get ill and OCD says see I told you and then I’d never be free of it. I know there are threats everywhere that you don’t know about but when you do know about a potential one it seems logically to avoid it. And if that made me feel better that would be ok but I feel I’m living half a life.
  9. I freaked out big time today at a work conference. I overheard someone talking about whether or not a ill colleague might come to the evening entertainment at the end of the days talks. I then messaged the person (who I’ve never met before) and was told the ill person was definitely not coming and I was safe to attend. But instead of putting my party dress on I bottled it thinking but what if she changes her mind at the last minute and I’m exposed. So I’m sat crying in my hotel room that I’m missing out due to my OCD again and I’d really wanted to go tonight. I’ll also miss the last day of the conference tomorrow because I just can’t go. Days like this I feel I have come nowhere and no amount of self help books, zoom groups or hypnotherapy have gotten me anywhere. Will I ever get better?
  10. Just had to voice this with people who know the struggle. I've been on the waiting list for therapy for nine months after going straight to the secondary care route being considered urgent and having had dark thoughts (don't get my started on how 'urgent' I must be if I can wait this long). I got a letter today saying I'm on the waiting list but if I still want therapy I need to call them by 31st March or they will assume I don't want it and I'll be discharged! Four days notice! What if I'd been on holiday?! Also why not assume I still want therapy unless I ring to say otherwise? Did they think the OCD I've had for 27 years has suddenly disappeared? Am I overreacting here or is that pretty poor? The letter also says I'll have my therapy over the phone when they get to me which I feel doesn't offer me the chance to build any kind of rapport with the therapist but that's another matter.
  11. That is a really good idea. If I decide to try it I could ask the doctor for these. Thank you.
  12. Thank you for raising this but I don't think this is reassurance seeking. I just read the PIL form in the tablets and know about my experience with Sertraline so I wondered if anyone could give me their experience while I evaluate whether to take them. It's a big decision to take mood altering meds and I can't decide lightly just because the doctor is trying to pressure me into it. Side effects is only part of the decision but it is a big consideration for me.
  13. Thank you both for your replies, these are very helpful. If I were to start taking it and after a very short period (a few days) noticed nausea that made me want to stop taking it, would this be safe if I was right at the very beginning of taking them? I did this with the sertraline but I was only taking a quarter of the dose so in the four days I was on it I'd only had one pill in total. The fluoxetine is capsules so I can't cut them up. Also has anyone got any experience of coming off them after being on them for a while? I worry that if they don't help or my OCD improves and I want to come off them at a later stage that I'll have a rough time tapering down.
  14. Some of you may know a few months ago I was given fluoxetine to try and I had my reservations. I had a medication review this week and had to confess I hadn't even started them but it got me thinking about it more seriously again. I am in a slightly stronger place again now but OCD is always there and has been untreated for over 25 years. Some days I think being drugged up will make me not me other days I think it's worth trying something even if just to bring my cortisol levels down (they were very high on a recent blood test). If I do decide to take them I'm terrified of side effects. The main one being nauseas and vomiting because I have emetophobia. I know everyone is different but I was wondering if anyone has any experience with this drug and could tell me if they had these two side effects when they first started taking it? I tried Sertraline for 4 days a while back but stopped at the first sign of nausea and it's made me scared of all SSRIs. Thoughts on the nausea/vomiting but also on whether SSRIs make you less you are very welcome please.
  15. Thanks @malina this is really useful. Online you tend to find plenty of negative experiences but people are less inclined to write about positive ones. And you know how prone research those of us with OCD can be. But I’m just so nervous I need to be prepared.
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