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Robin43

OCD-UK Member
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Everything posted by Robin43

  1. @PolarBearbut how can a therapist help me do that? This is frightening me that I wont be able to get round this.
  2. Thanks @PolarBearso you say I shouldn't do compulsions but I can't understand how to apply this to my current difficulty. I have decided from a clinical relevance that I am going to see a Neurologist as my GP didnt think it would be a bad idea after I explained everything about my head to her...so why have I not went yet? The reason is because if the Neurologist says to me, yes you have an increased risk of Dementia, then I won't be able to deal with that any other way than to go into non existence-ie sit on the sofa everyday for the rest of my life and that is what I so badly need someone to help me with-how could I possibly cope with that inside my mind and the answer is I couldn't-I would fall apart. I already spent 2 full years in non existence after the smoke detector incident so I have proof that is what happens me.
  3. Thanks @snowbearyou have made some really valid points. I made the decision not to stay on with my current therapist. I do not feel that Worry Time aligns with the previous therapy which I had and it has made me feel uneasy. I need a therapist who can be firm and tough with me and Worry Time just felt like it was giving in to my compulsions because I specifically asked the therapist if I could do compulsions in Worry Time and she said yes, it was my 10-15 minutes to do anything I felt like doing. I can see this as a sort of compulsion but I can't get my head round how to deal with it that is the issue. I have decided from a clinical relevance that I am going to see a Neurologist as my GP didnt think it would be a bad idea after I explained everything about my head to her...so why have I not went yet? The reason is because if the Neurologist says to me, yes you have an increased risk of Dementia, then I won't be able to deal with that any other way than to go into non existence-ie sit on the sofa everyday for the rest of my life and that is what I so badly need someone to help me with-how could I possibly cope with that inside my mind and the answer is I couldn't-I would fall apart. I already spent 2 full years in non existence after the smoke detector incident so I have proof that is what happens me.
  4. @PolarBearPolarBearbut then how else do I get round this:-
  5. Thanks @snowbear i really appreciate you getting back. My therapist knows I have already had 35 sessions from one of the UK specialist OCD clinics so to start me off with beginners Worry Time is a big red flag for me which goes against everything I have previously been taught. Also, I have self identified today that I think "non existence" if I were to find out from a Neurologist that I was at increased risk of Dementia is probably a type of compulsion but I need to get it straight in my head how I wouldn't do non existence if I were to go to a Neurologist and they were to tell me I was at increased risk of Dementia due to the repeated head impacts. This is something I had been trying to find a solution to but it is proving impossible.
  6. Thank you @snowbear. I have taken a while to reflect on what you have said as it is very valuable information. I have been worried about using Worry Time. I had 35 sessions of therapy before and my previous therapists always told me not to get into the content, not to engage with the thoughts etc whereas this new therapist who I have started with suggested Worry Time which I am worried about as it is the complete opposite of what I was previously told. This therapist now says I can spend my worry time worrying and using compulsions as much as I want in the worry time. I really want to know if Worry Time is a proper CBT for OCD technique rather than just a general CBT technique to know whether to continue with this therapist or not. This new therapist also says in addition to changing our behaviours, there is lots of different things we can do to manage outlr thoughts and our minds yet my previous therapists always said to leave the thoughts in your head unattended and do nothing with them. I am confused...should I be managing the stuff in my head or leaving it be?
  7. Thanks @snowbearand that is where I struggle because this means that even you think going to the Neurologist is not really an obsessional thought, it is more of a real concern. This is so difficult for me because although I am doing my utmost every day to fill my time with other things, I am still crushed to pieces with thinking 24/7 that I am going to take Dementia and the longer I leave it before I see the Neurologist the less accurate the scans will be, yet I am terrified they will tell me I have an increased risk of Dementia and I know I couldn't live with that and would go into non-existence. I just feel so trapped at times and yet last week for instance I made Mint Aero Squares, I completed a 5 day training course to become a WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Facilitator and I also attended my Spin class as well as an OCD Relapse Prevention Group. But all the time while doing these things I am unbearably stressed because I can't stop thinking that I am going to take Dementia, I am going to go to the Neurologist, hear devastating news about an increased/certain risk of Dementia and everything I am doing is fruitless because of this news I am going to hear as I definitely could NOT cope with it-it would be a certain non existence for the rest of my life. This stress brews below the surface-I feel like I am ready to explode with it. Sorry to rant on/
  8. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to contribute to this post. I have read everyone's comments albeit Worry Time is something which I am a bit unsure about because it seems like a time to engage and that is what I thought we were never meant to do in OCD.
  9. @snowbearthanks also for your reply. So I am wondering with my worry about Dementia and whether or not I should go to a Neurologist etc-would it be suitable to use "Worry Time" in this instance, whereby when I start thinking about it and worrying, I assign it to a worry period later in the day and then during that worry period I can then obsess as much as I like and choose to deal with it how I like during those designated 15 minutes-be that via googling about head injuries, researching which Neurologist to go to etc? I am slightly confused as to what you actually do in the Worry Time. Thank you
  10. Hi @Minino problem at all, happy to help. I just kept it really general and said I would not be well enough to attend as I suffer from severe OCD, Anxiety and Depression. That was all I said and I jever heard another word. Hope that helps.
  11. Hi @Mini, I had a similar situation a couple of years ago-I received a letter to attend Jury Service but I wrote back just stating that I couldn't due to my mental health condition and I never heard anything more about it after that. Hope that helps, and take care.
  12. Thanks @deValentin, that is very helpful to know. I suppose I finding it hard to understand how this concept fits in with OCD treatment as normally we are encouraged to not get involved in the content of our thoughts (just dismiss them and get on with what we are doing as per @snowbear and @PolarBear) whereas Worry Time is sort of allowing you to deal with the thoughts at a later stage and try to solve them or engage in compulsions at that later time and that seems odd regards OCD. Also we are classifying the thoughts as either real worry or hypothetical worry and that seems to be almost a compulsion. Maybe I am just overthinking it a bit.
  13. Just wanted to find out how useful have people found "Worry Time" for their OCD-e.g classifying their worries as either real or hypothetical and then postponing the worry until a specific 15 minutes of the day? Is this a technique people find useful for their OCD?
  14. Hello everyone I hope you are all doing ok, and I really mean that. I just thought I would share an update on where I am at. Three weeks ago I went to my GP as some of you had very sensibly suggested. She mentioned to me things like I could have had mild bruising to the lining layer of my skull. She said 95% of her would say not to go to a Neurologist but very often people will just look at things from an OCD perspective and she is looking at them from a medical point of view. She said she thinks if I did go to see a Neurologist it would give me some reassurance. I have continued to be tortured mentally over the last number of weeks about this, 24/7 thinking about it though I have engaged in some things such as Sessional working hours as a Mental Health Peer Trainer in my local Recovery College, I have also been out for dinner a couple of times and I am attending a weekly Spin class but the torture inside my mind is unbearable. I have had 2 sessions with my new OCD Therapist. We are still in the assessment phase but my therapist agrees that it is a difficult one to know what to do for the best but I could treat it as OCD for a while and see how I feel about it in a few months time. I am not sure though, I still feel I should just book and see a Neurologist-I am delaying the inevitable and even my GP doesn't think that it would be a bad idea either. I just thought I would share an update with you all as the posts you provided me back in November rescued me out of a very dark place and I was really thankful for all the input from everyone.
  15. @northpaul, @PolarBear, @snowbear, @howard, @Angst, @OCD slave, @Lynz and @Garfield thank you very much for taking the time to contribute to this post. You have all made some very important points which I have seriously taken onboard and I have very much appreciated your time. @Lynzthank you for that but labelling as Theory A or Theory B is difficult as you can't label a factual increased risk of Dementia which is proven for repeated head impacts as Theory B, when in real life it is Theory A. @OCD slavethat is a very striking point you made about making peace with the past as I do suffer with incredible guilt and responsibility. @northpaulyou have it exact when you said "it is not a compulsion if going to see a Neurologist is in response to a genuine concern over head injuries", you say it would only be a compulsion if I went and then disregarded their advice and I think that is correct, as I had hundreds of head impacts over a period of several years and there is factual evidence that repeated head impacts increase the risk of taking Dementia. So I cannot understand how @snowbear can say "nonsense" when I say this is not OCD this time, this is a genuine real health worry. How can @snowbearalso say "her perception of previous 'head injuries' she's 'sustained' is very distorted. Rational thinking would treat the exact same experiences as insignificant and not even label them as 'injuries'. " How can they be insignificant and not injuries even though I had hundreds of head impacts over a period of several years? Just because I have OCD it doesn't mean every other health issue doesn't exist and shouldn't be addressed? @snowbearI have made enquiries about 3/4 private therapists but they are all fully booked and don't operate a waiting list. I have had 35 sessions of specialized OCD NHS funded treatment with top therapists in the country so I don't know how further therapy is going to help me? @snowbearwhen you talk about me fighting back against OCD in the meantime I honestly don't know where to start.
  16. @PolarBearI am not sure what my core belief is. I am looking at getting a new CBT therapist. My mum is encouraging me to never go to a Neurologist and get on with my life. But the problem is I honestly can't. Everytime I try I am consumed that I am going to take Dementia soon and it is crippling.
  17. @PolarBearI know but I just can't get the real bit of it out of my head to move on. And I have had 35 CBT sessions with a specialist OCD team so I just think I must be a lost cause.
  18. @PolarBearI just couldn't live on and enjoy life thinking that I could take Dementia in the next few years and if I had never had any head impacts then I would never have been in this position so it is all my fault?
  19. @PolarBearI would ask the Neurologist do they think from the types of head impacts that I had am I at increased risk of taking dementia or would it not happen due to the types of impacts which I have had. Then if they said the latter I could move on with my life freely. If they said the former I think I would be put into non existence-I would see no future.
  20. Exactly right-so that is why I should see a Neurologist as not doing so is living in denial?
  21. @snowbearwhat Northpaul has put in their post is exactly what I am trying to say-can you see that it is rational now-I have never actually spoken to a Consultant to say whether or not I have done damage. Speaking to a Consultant is the reasonable way to deal with this real health issue. It is factual that repeated head impacts increase the risk of Dementia-I had hundreds of repeated head impacts over a period of a few years and therefore my concerns are valid, real and are not OCD.
  22. @PolarBearwhen you say break old thinking patterns-what do you mean by that as I have always been taught you cant think your way out of OCD, you have to behave your way out of it?
  23. @PolarBearyou are right it has followed the same pattern. The problem is therapy just hasn't helped me. I have had 35 NHS Sessions of specialist OCD help and that has now ended. I am looking for a new private therapist but I lose hope.
  24. @PolarBearand you think that would really solve my issue without a Neurologist? I really want to have a life beyond this all.
  25. @PolarBearbut is there any other way that you think I can get over this without suffering with the worry everyday for the rest of my life. Because if there is then I will try that before going to a Neurologist.
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