Mae

Hi Alla, Thank you for your response! I definitely do want to try and overcome this with my partner and of course support him through it. There are just moments when you feel frustrated. I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself in the process as well, it can be very draining! I hope your partner starts therapy soon too and exactly as you said sometimes it may get worse before it gets better. I wish you all the best and keep looking after yourself!

Hi Alex, Thank you for saying that, I really appreciate it! Exactly, it’s been quite difficult to figure out but I hope with time it gets better especially with therapy. I hope you’re okay and managing? This forum has definitely helped and seeing people’s messages and comments has been reassuring and just knowing that we’re not alone is comforting too. Same to you! Take care

Hi Coco, Thank you for your response! It really does mean a lot to know that others understand. I can definitely feel lonely and frustrating. It’s definitely going to be a process and I do still have a lot to learn in terms of how to navigate his OCD and how I can support him. Thank you once again

Hi there, Is there a sport that he likes or maybe something creative like art or media? What about tutoring? It might be difficult for him to study for his own education but maybe explaining or teaching someone could be different? I know a lot of people have started their own business through their own creativities, such as selling their art or from making things (food, pottery, macrame). I don’t know if any of these things are helpful as I’m just throwing some ideas around. I guess it also depends on what he likes, if he likes to be active or is he creative or intellectual? What gets his mind going? My boyfriend currently works as a delivery driver, he’s self-employed through Deliveroo, Ubereats and Stuart. He says for him it doesn’t require too much thinking and you’re just in and out. It gets him outside too and he’s made some friends along the way which has been nice socially. If he’s able to and is willing to try different activities, maybe he’ll find his passion through that and something might come out of it ?

Hi all, Hope you’re all doing well and coping okay. My boyfriend has been recently diagnosed with OCD after booking an appointment with his GP to discuss how he’s been feeling. He’s currently waiting to start therapy sometime in April. A little bit about us, we have been together for 5 years, met at university, I’m 24 and he’s 25. I am currently doing a postgraduate degree and due to finish in August. He works as a delivery driver and working on starting up his own business. We currently don’t live together, he lives on his own and I live with my parents but we’re not too far away from each. Our relationship has been struggling lately (before OCD diagnosis from GP), he hasn’t been putting that much effort in our relationship and I always felt like I was doing everything for him. Then when he did find out about his OCD and when we spoke about it, he explained that the reason why he hasn’t been putting effort in our relationship is because of his OCD. When I found out I wanted to constantly reassure him that I’m here to support him and if there was anything I can do to help. However, it’s been such a struggle for me though I know it’s also a struggle for him! Last night I have never felt so upset, I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard the way I did before last night. Whenever we’re discussing something and when it comes to voicing our own opinions, he seems to always snap at me just because I don’t agree with his opinions or whenever I’m asking him to clarify what he’s said because maybe I interpreted it differently to how he meant it. It just feels like everything I do or say is wrong to him. It’s like I can’t even be my own person and voice my own opinions just because he’ll get upset. I don’t know if that’s selfish of me? Like I know he’s my boyfriend but I’m not married to him. As much as I want to be there for him and support him, I also don’t want to feel this way. I have a degree and a career to pursue and focus on. I majored in psychology for my undergraduate and I’m studying sport and Exercise Psychology for my postgraduate, I’ve also been to therapy sessions and have done the work I needed to and continually do the work to be at peace with myself and heal myself. So it’s not like I don’t understand what he’s going through (I mean I know not completely) but I do have some knowledge and experience of what it’s like to not be mentally good. I want to be there for him, I want to support him through this and I don’t want him to feel isolated or alone. However, at the same time, I don’t also want to destroy my peace and my mental well-being. I’m struggling at university already due to the number of lockdowns we’ve had already. I’m so conflicted, I obviously don’t want our relationship to end because we’ve been through so much and have met each other families and got to know them. But I don’t want to feel alone and hurt in the presence of someone I love. I don’t know you guys, maybe I am being selfish. I’m just so confused and conflicted. He also said that I’m causing some of his compulsions because he’s worried that the flat is not clean enough for me or he didn’t get enough groceries for me. Because before I knew about his OCD we spoke about his lack of effort and that’s what I said, why does he never clean his flat when he knew I was coming over (just a little common courtesy, for me anyway) and it would be nice if I just came one day and lunch or dinner was ready, rather than me doing everything... I’m aware of how long this post has gotten but I clearly have a lot of feelings and have no one to talk to about this. Needed to let some stuff off my mind. Have a good day everyone!