Dakagraphics-David

Hi there, and welcome... There are some good self help books available from Amazon. Dr David Burns, Rob Wilson, Dr David Veale, Rhena Branch are good writers to seek out. You can then tailor a therapeutic approach to whatever your intrusive thoughts consist of... In the same idea that, to have an argument, takes two people, well, Intrusive thoughts are an argument. If we refuse to argue with the thoughts... Eventually they stop... Believe it or not... They still come, but they are more like whispers these days, and fairly easily dodged. On a good day... David

Hi there... And welcome... Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can often help. Your doctor would be able to refer your son. There are some good books on it. Incidentally, When I first had this kind of treatment, my Counsellor asked me, What is it contaminated with? Is it dangerous? How do we know? The evidence that people touch things, but don't get ill... Shopping... All sorts go in the trolley, but supermarkets stay in business... What is it contaminated with? And can we prove or disprove that it is so? Just maybe, whatever it is 'contaminated' with is safe? A good book to help is 'The boy who couldn't stop washing' by Doctor Judith Rappoport. It is available quite cheaply from Amazon. Also, Books by David Veale, and Rob Wilson. Plus, Doctor David Burns... Hope this helps, David

But we are allowed to make mistakes... That is how we all learn how not to do things... I am, definitely... You are allowed to make mistakes... That is how you learn how not to do something next time... Me too... I've been a terrible person in the past... But I'm getting a little better at things now... Just as you will have... To err is human, forgive, divine... The pop song... 'I'm only human, of flesh and blood I'm made, I'm only human, born to make mistakes... We need to allow ourselves to be human and fallible... Always...

Absolutely. For a long time the legal system has forced us to use incredibly deep food hygiene regulations... To the point where I was scared of getting sued over the risk of Salmonella in eggs... In the care home where I worked, the eggs were so overcooked, as to be like rubber to eat. In the end, we just didn't serve them any more. The problem was the relatives... Just some of them... My manager had a nervous breakdown. We had to use the correct knife, and coloured chopping board... Ready to prove we had done so.. I guess they could get say, £500 for a mild tummy-ache... It was all money... On TV now, they use pieces of tree... A lot better. I had a nervous breakdown too... I watch what happens in supermarkets, and restaurants... We need to be exposed to very small amounts of dust, in order for our immune systems to strengthen on. The saying, 'What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger... comes to mind here, although it is an overused cliché. I try to keep my hands reasonably clean, but no longer use bleach on them... That used to dry out and crack the skin on my hands... Very painful. I think we have to be more open with each other in society. Not everyone wears a mask, despite Covid cases being on the rise... But then, The European cup final at Wembley was over fifty thousand people, all in close proximity to each other, no masks... In theory, it could have been a disaster... We do have better mortality rates today, and I guess a lot of that is down to things like immunisation. Fortunately pretty successful, maybe people get blasé to things when they've had the jab. The biggest advance, I guess, is the capacity to do body scanning, and X-ray pictures which are instantly available to the treatment clinician. Most dog owners clean up after their pets... Years ago it was everywhere. I put my hands in streams... But at the seaside, the water tasted of soap... In ordinary life, we really don't need to antibacterialise our hands in-between items on the shopping cart... We have a certain amount of resistance to our surroundings... Biologically, our bodies are constantly fighting off germs, especially in the air... And yet, we are okay... There is a possibility, I guess, that a lot of the asthma conditions now, are partly due to the amount of antibacterial spray that gets into the air, that we then breathe in. We can detect the smell of cigarette smell from way off, and that is someone else's exhaled air! It's best not to think too deeply about these things, and just, let go, and let it be so... I used to be interested in the super-cinema buildings... Very grand, but in those days not everyone had an indoors toilet... When I was a child, the sink was in the bathroom, but the toilet was separate. But I would try to get downstairs before the toilet stopped flushing. (They were really loud) So, by that coin, I would very rarely have washed my hands... Even before getting an ice cream from the van that came around our streets... We have to be 'reasonably clean'... We have to stay true to our natural environment... In the UK we are very lucky to have the healthcare that we do, but we also have a lot of litigation solicitors springing up... People are getting greedy... But it's not all bad is it..? As a society, we need to be far more tolerant and empathic of each other, but that's another subject! David

Hi everyone... This just might be a good idea... For a long time, I actually believed that I contaminated the world... Literally... Everything I touched... Even walking on an indoor carpet after walking on the pavement outside... My doormat... Any mail that came to my home was 'Contaminated'. If I touched my hair, and then touched something else, I would be transferring 'something', from 'something' to something else. I would sit in a therapy room at a day centre, Staring at the door handle... I was trapped, because What if I touched the handle to leave the room? What would I put on it for someone else to touch? What what I be taking off it, to then pass to something/ someone else? It became impossible... My grandchildren would crawl on a floor that I had walked on in outdoor shoes... What if they became ill because of anything on my shoes? Because I knew... That was a while ago now... 'Bontamination', the state of being 'Bontaminated', by a 'Bontaminator' .eg. I 'Bontaminate' everything I touch... Even the air I breathe is 'Bontaminated' in some way... Always has been... The word 'Bon' comes from the French meaning 'Good'. So to 'Bontaminate' is the same thing as 'Contaminate', but in a good way... A good way... If you look up the word 'Contaminate', there are literally thousands of synonyms... All negative... But if we look up 'Bontaminate' a positive, good word, we cannot find it anywhere... So let's all continue to 'Bontaminate' our world, with 'clean' hands, washing hands after the loo, just as we always have done... Using anti bacterials is fine, as we have a pandemic... But... On our hands we will have 'good' bacteria as well as bad. The good needs the bad to strengthen on... If we antibac excessively, aren't we killing off the good guys as well? Children need to get their hands and knees grubby when developing their immune systems, while crawling about on the floor, we all did, and we are still here to tell the tale... What do you think? My Ocd is contamination based... Has been for as long as I can remember... The thing is... it is a totally negative word... Always bad... I looked in an on-line dictionary, and found at least a hundred related words... All negative... And that is without all the verbs and adjectives etc. So... We need to turn this around... Make it positive in some way, and thus make it do- able. A word that is starting to appear on-line is 'Bontamination', To 'Bontaminate', and 'Bontaminated'. The prefix 'Bon' comes from the French, meaning 'Good'. By that concept... To 'Bontaminate', is to contaminate, but in a good way... In a good way... Wow! If we assume that, at any given time, on our hands, there are good bacteria as well as bad, then when we touch something, or come into contact with some thing, we are putting good on as well as bad... If our fingertips only had bad germs/bacteria on them, then we wouldn't have healthy skin on our fingers, hands, or indeed anything... But we do have good bacteria... If we are 'excessive' in our washing, antibaccing, and bleaching absolutely everything, surely we are also killing off the good guys as well? We are, aren't we? Yes, we need to defeat Covid, so using gel when entering shops, just once, is great... But not between individual items... After all, the cashier touches everything... And always has done... So technically, all the wrappers are cross-contaminated before we even get them in the bags... But that has always been the case... If it were so bad, none of us would have made it to adulthood... But we have, haven't we? We need to 'Bontaminate' our surroundings... A positive, rather than negative move... Reasonably clean can be good enough again... Our surroundings and homes are already 'Bontaminated' in a good way. Always have been... In the H.G.Wells story, 'War of the Worlds' it is the humble bacteria, that we have always been largely immune to, that saves our world. The 'good' bacteria need the 'bad' in order to grow stronger... And that is what ultimately protects us... There is germs and bacteria in the air... Both good, and bad... Which, through our lungs, is linked directly to our bloodstream, and yet, as we grow up, from babies to adults, we actually get stronger... In every way. Biologically. So... By staying reasonably clean, we Bontaminate our world, and that is a good thing... Isn't it? I certainly hope so! I've been doing it, and so far... Actually okay! David.

Hi Belina, please don't give up yet... The solution might not be far away, and it would be desperately unfair for you to miss it. I sometimes look back and wonder at how much I would have missed if I'd succeeded in escaping life, multiple times... Just ordinary things... A nice hot drink... A really nice sandwich from the meal deal counter... A listen to my favourite music... I've written books, but nobody buys them, especially in my immediate family, the very people who maybe need to be encourage each other... A friendly word on the forum... I don't do much... But at least I do something... It's not as good as other peoples, but it is still an achievement for me. Just believing that I've helped somebody, or made their day brighter is a little something. A small personal achievement in my day. I don't own a house or car, but manage to feel content... I/we have air to breathe... Nice air, with different smells in it, most good! I play an old electronic organ, which is great cos it can accompany me, without me having to compete with others about how much it cost, and what 'model' it is. I don't have to impress anyone... I probably couldn't anyway, however hard I tried... I just don't have that kind of money to throw around... We need to keep just breathing... And try to relax between heartbeats... Because, as the commercial says... We are worth it... David

Hi there, yep, been there, done that, worn the teeshirt... The thing is, Is any of these things actually dangerous? When we were kids, we would have been the ones crawling about on the floor, retying soaking wet shoelaces... And we probably absolutely never washed our hands... And yet, we have survived into adulthood. Thinking about it, the very act of babymaking, and childbirth aren't exactly not sticky! I don't like dog poo on my shoes... Though it has happened when walking across grass... These things would have happened a lot when we were kids... At least, Some people clean up after their pets... One thing that often occurred, was mending punctures on my bicycle... Going to school, apprenticeship work... Were my hands ever really clean? I shudder to think... I once had a puncture on my way to work in a care home... I actually repaired the tyre in the living room, whilst the residents ate their supper! I did wash hands before preparing the food! But only with ordinary soap... We didn't have anti-bac gel back then... Just maybe, everything will be okay... Kids pick their stuff up off the floor at school... That could even be worse than the street... But we have to defy the thoughts... The more we defy, the less prevalent the intrusive thoughts become... David

Hi Everyone. We now have a new word in the dictionary... Now, I used to believe that I contaminated the world, such was the extent of my Ocd... But actually, I, and all of us, 'Bontaminate' the world. That is, contaminate the world, but mainly in a good way... 'Bon' comes from the French meaning 'Good'. So, we have, to 'Bontanimate', Bontanimation, and Bontaminated'. The point I'm making is that, if everything on our fingertips was hazardous, We'd have no skin on our fingertips. The point being, we have both good, and bad bacteria, germs on us... We need both... But with excessive use of antibac gel, We are killing off everything... Well, 99.9 % anyway... This is a new way of approaching Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I thought about submitting the word to the Oxford English Dictionary, but annual subscription is a lot more than the cost of the dictionary I use for my studies... Anyone else wish to? It's not my word, but 'Our' word... Okay, Rant over! Today we had a 'meal deal' in our local supermarket... For the princely sum of £3 we can choose a pack of sandwiches, a snack, and a small bottle of drink. We got some other comestibles, like donuts (!), then put the whole lot through a checkout... Everything goes on the conveyor belt, even the 'wet' stuff... All into the carrier bag, that I'd previously used to donate all my soft plastic to the store, then it is home... None of the packaging has ever been washed... It is just, wash hands once at the kitchen sink, then, rip open the packages to eat the contents... I have a favourite for hard boiled eggs, that are almost impossible to cook at home... Does anyone ever get ill? And what about the free fruit for children on their way around the store? If it is ever washed, their hands won't be... But, despite these ideas being on the increase, Has anyone successfully sued anyone? If they had, it would be allover the newspapers, and the practice discontinued. Is the council recycling centre clean enough? We'll soon know... Along with the door intercom at my son's flat. This is all evidence that we can all use, in our efforts to defy the intrusive thoughts that insist we wash our hands, over and over again, just to make sure... Recheck that door is locked, just once only... Cos the more we check, the stronger the urge to check again becomes... Tomorrow, the job of sorting out our shed looms... David

Hi there, I'm really sorry... I didn't mean to cause offence... My emojis were intended as a smile of encouragement for you, There are other emojis (I believe) that infer laughter. This Ocd is an absolute killer... It has nearly killed me me several times... Attempted suicide... It has been a long, hard, stressful journey for me too... Over sixty years of it... Earthly life is largely, for most, an absolute drag, it is not fair, I've never really achieved anything... My life seems like it doesn't count for anything... But that is the same for everyone... The richest people in the world still don't have everything... They are always wanting more... Rant over! I try to put a positive context on everything, and most of the time, succeed. In an electrical circuit analogy, Positive energy charges a circuit, Negative energy drains it, regardless of how strong it is. Let's all push forward together, this is our journey, let's all try to apply that positive energy... David

Hold still a moment... Have any of these awful things ever happened? Ever? I'm thinking, well, actually no... But can that really be attributed to unrelated compulsions? Doing something, just in case... Logically thinking, can we really influence to outcome of things not in our direct control, by what we unconnectedly do? We'd have to have super powers... And so would everyone else... I've read something on Facebook this week about, I am not directly responsible for another persons' happiness, they are... But I am responsible for my own. I can choose whether or not to take something the wrong way, just as others around me have the human right to do. The film 'Matilda' is a lovely story, but can have no basis in fact, and for immediately obvious reasons, especially in a school... Or anywhere else for that matter. How someone else responds to us, is purely their life, we cannot justify control over other peoples lives, no matter how hard we try... In the forces of Evil it would prove disastrous... In all honesty... Do we really have that kind of responsibility? Just cos someone is having a bad day... How can it possibly be entirely our fault? That would be grossly unfair, wouldn't it? We need to 'let it go, and let it be so...' And on that note, I'll reach for my cup of Coffee! ?

Hi everyone. Well... I've been busy with family issues over the last month or so, and have been thinking about our fear of contamination, and what an awfully negative word that is... Negative energy drains an electrical circuit, Positive energy charges it. Negative thought drains the most normally possible person in the world... Anyone... So, we need a positive alternative... Well, I played about for a while, and looked on-line dictionaries for a possible word... I'm suggesting this one... Bontamination. That's right, Bontamination... Bon is from the French for good. It is also closer to the letter A in the alphabet, as in A lister... Bontamination (noun) the process of adding to something by physically touching it, but with the emphasis on 'Good', improving, applying, for instance 'Good Bacteria', and suchlike, rather than negative words like 'Contamination'. Friendly germs, the normal 'Flora' of the largest organ of any living thing, namely the skin. Touch. It is a challenge to 'contamination' which is negative in context. If everything on our skin was destructive, we wouldn't have healthy skin... 'Bontaminate' (Verb) To Bontaminate is to touch, albeit with clean hands, but in order to heal, or pass from one to another, in a good way... I've looked at submitting the word to the Oxford English Dictionary, but to do that I have to be subscribed, but that costs more than actually buying the book, so if anyone else wants to, go ahead. Let's get this word into general use... Use it as a weapon to fight against contamination Ocd... It's not my word, but ours... I'll antibac my hands on entering the shop... Just the once... I'll then pick up all the groceries I need, get them onto the conveyor belt, pay with card, then back to the car... I'll wash my hands after using the loo. I have to, cos the sound of a kettle boiling can give me the urge to 'go'. Have I got this anywhere near right? It all sounds a bit too easy... David

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Surely everything is contaminated with something... And always has been... Since the beginning of time... The thing is, that word 'contamination' is always used in a negative context... It is always assumed to be bad... What do they call 'good' contamination? A lot of germs are our friends... Can anyone give me a word for 'good' 'contamination? Please!!! David

Hi there. Usually, children don't pause to think of what could be on their hands... Ice cream just gets licked off... I guess that one way of looking at this, is that, foremost, we wash our hands to protect ourselves... And that would also be true for other people... Whatever is on their hands is their own problem... We have no control over what they have been in contact with before they eat a sandwich at a picnic... To be honest, my main concern with using antibac gel that knocks off 99.9% of bacteria, is that we are also bumping off the good bacteria... The good germs... Some bacteria are gonna be important surely? If it wasn't, we wouldn't be alive... So, on balance, We are actually doing ourselves no favours... Right from being babies, crawling on the floor, we have had these bacteria attacking us, to strengthen our normal natural defences. In theory, when not doing food prep, we only need to wash hands after going loo... But if we go to a burger bar, not everyone does even that... Sure, the door handles are probably antibacterial stainless steel, but even that will take time to bump off the bacteria... And no one successfully sues... The problem is the soap companies... They'd suggest we drink the stuff if it would sell more bottles... Our bodily defences must be pretty good... We breathe the air, airborne bacteria... It passes through the alveoli in our lungs directly into the bloodstream... If we inhaled disinfectant it would kill us, but the bacteria have always been in the air... Our natural systems have adapted over the years... So just maybe, we don't actually need to wash our hands quite so often... If someone becomes ill, how would they prove it was down to me? Or I them, for that matter? Let's take the risk, and actually benefit our own, and other peoples natural defences... Remember the saying, 'That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger...' This all seems to go against convention, but we do need to wash our hands just a little less, in order for our natural defences to protect us efficiently. I sure do wish this was easier though! ? David

But I used to smoke too... It was the done thing at the time... Would I need punishing too? Is it really such a bad thing to do..? My church is non smoking, but, for some people, it is their only enjoyment in life... For myself, I don't feel I have the right to tell someone if they can smoke or not... I did it in my younger days, as did most of my friends too... To be honest, I only gave up cos it was difficult to drive my Mums car at the same time... I changed my membership at my church so I can have a drink at Christmas... But if others wish to smoke... That is their issue, not mine... True love forgives all things... David

?You are most welcome. It's a heck of a journey we're on, isn't it??

Hi there... If you were given the task of making everyone else die because of you, How would you plan it? How would you make it certain that you would achieve it? To be fair, It's quite a big ask isn't it? It would be very difficult to achieve deliberately... So to achieve it unintentionally..? For it to be entirely your fault? Never mind the thought, thinking factually, statistically, It just plain isn't gonna happen... And our own scientific evidence backs this up. It is the irrational fear of something bad happening that is scary... We live in a sue me, sue you, blame culture... People think that having more money by suing someone is an efficient way of becoming wealthy... Except it doesn't happen like that in reality... They have to prove the case against us... And our solicitor will make sure that won't happen... Cos it is their job to do so... We will win... You will win. David

Hi there... Just perhaps, it is Time to let it go, and let it be so... The past is gone, the future as yet, out of reach... The most important muscle in the human body, is the heart... When it actually beats, it is under stress, pushing the blood round... But in between beats... It rests, relaxes, ready to take on the next pulsebeat... It is continually resting between heartbeats... Maybe we could do that between life events... Rest between heartbeats... That way, we'll actually notice that, hey, things do indeed go right most of the time... And just maybe, our stresses are not quite as bad as we often perceive them to be... And we can only engage a forward gear so to speak... David

My weird finding was that... I would lock a door... The more times I went back to check that it was safely locked, the stronger the urge to recheck, and recheck again became... Now, I check it once only, then defy it... Tell it to do it's worst. But the worst case scenario simply doesn't happen... In a professional care environment, we are forever trying to lower the odds of something bad happening, cos if anything happened, however minute, would have people trying to sue us, just for the money... I don't drive very much these days. I can't be bothered, It's my wifes car anyway, so she does most of the driving... So what happens if I get sued? Well, I'm insured, and, they have to win the case... Which is highly unlikely. If someone runs out in front of me on a zebra crossing, sure, it will be my fault, I should have been able to stop. BUT, the person might get a couple of hundred pounds from my insurance... But what if their wounds don't heal properly? The money will soon be gone... They could be disabled for life... No amount of money will make up for that... I was driving as safely as I could... It makes no difference who is to blame... I get my licence back eventually... I get to live on... On the subject of touching items... Can we really cross contaminate things? Contact to fresh air will solve things... The worst case scenario will never happen... We are too conscientios for that to happen... We are good people. David

Hi there, and to be fair... You are actually doing what Everyone does... Except that us Ocd'ers worry about it, and penalise ourselves for. When we walk down the street, and see an attractive person coming towards us... It is beautifully human to feel attracted... I'm married, but still look... I don't go any further, but it is really nice to just look... The other day, I was in town, and noticed a lot of girls wearing shorts... This is nice... My wife will be looking at the blokes (She'll deny it, but she is human too!) Despite being hyperintelligent, we are still earth born creatures... Hard wired to populate the world... Romantic... The sensations we fell are a remnant of our lives in caves... In other words... You aren't doing anything wrong, save the constan analysing that Ocd can have us doing... Let it go... The trouble with reassurance though, is that we begin to need it more and more, for even the slightest detail. We do things in our lives, to learn how not to do something, so we can do things better next time... Time to let it go, And let it be so... David

Ever heard the saying... 'It's always darkest before the dawn...' Just give yourself more time... Who knows what wonderful things the future will bring... David

Hi there. In David Burns book 'Feeling good the new mood therapy', he talks about cognitive distortions. One of which is 'Catastrophisation' This is where we take things to the worst possible extreme, and try to plan for what that might entail. As you rightly say, this eventuality is gonna be so rare, as to be almost say 99% unlikely. If we are always try to prepare for the worst... We'll be way to preoccupied to notice the times things are actually going okay... Which is indeed, most of the time... It's a good book that I have found really useful, cos this is exactly what I used to do in care work... It broke me! David

Hi there... There are some good books about CBT on Amazon, and, if you have Amazon Prime, you could have them by tomorrow... And the prices are not too bad... A really good one is 'Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies, By Rob Wilson and Rhena Branch. It is a real good read between CBT Sessions. There is a workbook too, from the same writers, I believe. Ocd is an enemy, and the more we learn about an enemy, the better chance we have to defeat its power over us... POWOT (Positive way of thinking) and in an electrical circuit (And our bodies are), Positive energy charges a circuit, Negative energy will quickly drain it. Basically, Life is hell of a journey, but the positive way of thinking person has a better time of it, with even the same problems... I'm still learning how to do this myself! David

Hi everyone... Today it was a visit to the village shop... Uncooked burgers... Safe? Well, I opened the plastic pack, and used one hand to handle the actual burgers, then washed everything at the same time as my hands, just once, then the burgers go into the oven for at least half an hour They just need to be thoroughly cooked. I don't do barbecues, too likely to have burnt on the outside ice cubes! Too much effort! Much safer and easier to cook it all in the oven, and carry it all into the gazebo on plates... No faffing about while wearing a funny apron!! We have cheese slices too, and burger buns... All paid for by contactless card... Mind you, I don't remember what I last used the card for... Something I do find weird... Do you find a need to go loo immediately after washing hands under the tap? It seems to be the sound of running water... I stand at the kitchen sink, wash my hands, and Guess what? I'm busting for a leak! Well, I've got wise to it, I think... Before preparing food, I go to the loo, regardless, then wash hands in the loo. Then continue with the food preparation. Is this gonna be good enough? Well... If I go into a burger bar restaurant, If I wash my hands in the loos, I've still got to pull door handles to return to the main restaurant... The thing is... It only takes one person to not wash their hands first... It has always been that way... And to be the best of my knowledge... Nothing has got into the papers about someone trying to sue them... So, just maybe, that is okay? So... Using that evidence... I can wash my hands in the loo, then go into my domestic kitchen, and NOT wash hands yet again before starting to prepare food... After all, I've already washed my hands, Right? Well... I've got away with it so far... Maybe... This routine could be used for other things... Like door handles in general... Mmmm... Well I've now finished eating the cooked burgers in buns... It has always been okay so far... David

Hi there. Yes, at times life can get very overwhelming, but this punctuates the great times. The great times that actually outnumber the unhappy times. There is a point, we just don't know what it is yet. While we are here we add to the world. When we go to someone's funeral, I never cease to be amazed at the things people say about the deceased. Everyone, and that includes you and I, contribute massively to the world, and more in a good way... I also believe in God, and that something good follows this... I don't know why, and I don't know how. Your CBT is going well, it takes time to beat the OCD, We are on a journey, and get better and better every day. The blue days diminish in frequency, and the good days increase in frequency. It is definitely worth it, it just doesn't feel like that sometimes. Keep going, Life can and does get better... David