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Yes. Definitely affected by this. Not helped that I absolutely used to (and I'll be honest, it's still hard to shake 100%) I used to believe that in order for a situation/event etc to turn out well, I had to expect it to go very badly.. Drifting into magical thinking maybe?!

Hi @GeorgeEgroeg Sorry that your post has gone for so long without a reply. I can understand how that might add 'fuel to the fire' when you're trying to make sense of everything at the moment. I am going to be cautious with my response as I don't want to further your current situation by giving you reassurance and helping that to become a compulsion you go on to seek more of, which is the reason for my brevity. Like you, I have experienced thoughts of this theme (relationship) and can still do. This includes sometimes when it will focus on a slight overlap that occurred when I met my boyfriend whilst a 'thing' with another guy was coming to an end. What I'm trying to say by telling you that is that you're not alone. From reading your post you, yourself, point out two important things - 1) you are obsessing and 2) you don't want to break up with your girlfriend. Given those things, I would say, especially as you have an OCD diagnosis, you need to move ahead with focusing on doing all of the things that are given as advice on here - e.g. disregarding the thoughts, reducing and eliminating your compulsions etc. I hope this helps and again, please remember you're not alone with experiencing this.

Hi everyone, Currently lying in bed struggling with stomach cramps from TOTM hence being on the forum this late. My reason for sharing that is I’ve just had two of the hardest weeks in a while recently with my OCD. Coming onto my TOTM has made me realise/remember just how much of an impact my hormones can have on my OCD. I was really starting to buy into my intrusive thoughts because they had been so constant. Even now, I feel a little bit like ‘okay I feel reassured as I’ve just come on my period, but I still feel like a piece of me has been taken by the OCD monster’. Caveats here: I know the last comment is probably overdramatic but I’m trying to get across a sense of how I feel after the last two weeks and with the reassurance thing - I realise the compulsion here. I’m trying to work out how to not have my TOTM starting as a massive reassurance thing - struggling with that currently. Another thing that triggered this recent OCD cycle was something that I saw on TV. Anyone else have this problem?! It was then a perfect storm with the mix of hormones. Anyway, as I’m sat here late at night I am finding myself pondering. I am coming up to two years since I’ve discovered I have OCD. I’ve had it for around 26 years if not more since early childhood, approx 24 years undiagnosed. One of the biggest things in the last two years has been trying to come to terms with this - and how, with the benefit of hindsight, I can really see the influence and fallout on my life. Relationships that have hugely suffered, perhaps irreparably. Ambitions never realised. Choices I need to make to manage my OCD going forward. As an example, admittedly I have never been maternal and from an early age expressed my decision of not wanting children. I still feel this way now to about 99%. As I’m with a partner I love very much there is that tiny what if there, but I also find for myself that I could not go through the increased issues with my OCD caused by hormones during and after pregnancy. This is what I mean when I say, the impact of OCD. Does anyone else understand where I am coming from? It’s like, in addition to managing my OCD, there is another entire aspect to it in so far of trying to come to terms with how it has shaped my life? I should add that on the whole I am doing much better since my diagnosis following treatment with my OCD itself, but as many of us feel and I agree - it is sneaky. I have had many themes over the years, have two that have been somewhat with me for around the last three, and know that more themes will try to pop up but that I will need to apply my CBT/ERP learning when they do.

Same in that I can’t really offer tips per se, but I find this affects me too; I am always more susceptible around my period. It may be worth tracking days where you notice yourself struggling more in case you do find a discernible pattern. I find that knowing I’m worse on my period helps me to see things for the OCD it is rather than actual truth. Ultimately, as hard it is, you just need to remember they are only thoughts and you can give them no attention.

The achievement that I would like to add for myself is how I’ve managed to keep on top of my OCD this week. By this I mean that I’ve rarely had any issue over the last few weeks (very busy with work). I’ve been off this week - so more free time - and it also coincided with my TOTM so thoughts have been trying to creep up/have been in the background for the last few days. Whilst not nice, I’ve tried not to react and moreso to be able to take a step back and realise that a) more free time and b) TOTM are big contributing factors here. This is a big step forward for me. Need to keep on it and not rest on my laurels, including how I can develop more activities to distract me when it does happen again, but just wanted to give myself this pat on the back as normally I’m v self critical.

I've really been affected by this too. I would say as hard as it may be don't avoid intimacy with your partner. I'm in an okay place at the moment - I say okay as I'm conscious that this is something which can still be quite triggering for me, but I'm able to identify it as being OCD related which helps me to manage it and be kind to myself when I am struggling - and prone to intrusive thoughts whilst being intimate with my boyfriend. It has been a rollercoaster though, as at my worst the thoughts have been a very much unwanted extra presence. I remember going through a long period of that. Gradually they started to subside though to the point where I even had one experience of crying after sex as I literally had had no intrusive thoughts and that was so emotional in itself! Not great for the boyf however as he started to worry he had done something wrong! I don't know how open you are with your partner, but maybe it's something you could talk to him about? You don't need to go into all the details, but you could maybe explain how you are affected in this area? Not sure how great my advice is, but really hoping this improves for you all. I manage it day to day so I understand how it feels - it's tough.

Hi @Rosie01, You've been given really sound responses here by other posters. I'm so glad as well you've found this forum. I discovered it myself by pure chance about eighteen months ago and, to be honest, it really has saved me. I just want to offer that you really are not alone. I, for one, have had extremely similar intrusive thoughts, including around family members - and actually they are the first theme that I ever encountered, when I started noticeably struggling with OCD at around the age of 8. I only identified the issue as OCD at the age of 33(!) so it was a long struggle. My second thing is about compulsions. Break these and break the cycle. Allow the thoughts to happen and don't react. It's amazing how much smaller they become when not fed by compulsions (including rumination - one of the hardest and most sneakiest - be aware of that - it was certainly my biggest issue within the various compulsions I carried out). For example, when my OCD began I would spend each day having an intrusive thought, confessing to a parent to feel better and get reassurance, feel better, next day - BAM - another, if not worse intrusive thought and repeat and repeat and repeat. It went on for weeks. Rumination has been one of my biggest compulsions by far - and with hindsight now, I can see how much that fed various themes over many years. Watch out for reassurance seeking, which can also be quite sneaky. For that reason you may find many posters will deliberately try to avoid reassuring you to not feed any OCD - it's definitely them helping you to help yourself My final thought - really listen to the advice you get here and put it into practice. There are so many super knowledgable folk on here, who understand your situation not only from the practicalities of how to deal with it, but also from an empathetic perspective as we've all lived it/are living it. In the beginning it might feel like a leap of faith - it certainly did for me - but it can really help in your journey to getting on top of this. I don't consider myself cured - and I feel like I'm of the perspective that it's an ongoing condition to be aware of and manage (others may disagree on this - I'm still learning myself!), but my goodness, 18 months later and I am very much in a very different place to where I was. Wishing you all the luck moving forward.

Excellent thread @MarieJo - thank you. Like you, I stumbled across what was happening with me googling the internet during a particularly dark phase of OCD. Looking back over my life, I see now how much of it was shaped by my OCD - not that I ever knew it at the time. It’s something I think I am only starting now to fully understand the weight of, and process the grief. Certainly, one of the bright points has been finding this community and I’m forever grateful to all who have helped me.