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howard

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Everything posted by howard

  1. howard

    Photography

    An amazing photo by Mark Williams.
  2. I think part of the concern is when you feel that someone else is invading your space. The thing is with smoke from a fire going out from a chimney is it should be set up so that the smoke dissapates into the atmosphere. So the chimney could be set up wrong or you are just getting a wind blowing it downwards in your direction. You sensitivity to the smell may not indicate that smoke is entering your property, just enough to give you hint of smell, but not that dangerous(relative to the normal air we breathe!). But of course you don't want anyone else invading your space in any way and that probably is making you exaggerate the potential risks and the anxiety could also be affecting your ability to feel you can breathe freely.
  3. You are knowledgeable and talented as an artist. I'm glad you are enjoying it, both as a distraction and in terms of being creative. Being creative and creating something unique is a special experience. I think one problem with art is people forget how much fun is. When we are young it's just a natural form of play and fun. Adults get way to serious about it.
  4. I think the way to deal with asbestos is to follow the advice given out by the authorities. Which is don't touch it, don't drill into it or cut it, etc. I have asbestos all around me, some is more dangerous than others; so it was embedded in my cystern(low level risk) but the council sent in one team to bag it and remove it, all the glue under my flooring has asbestos in it(low level risk to live with) the council have organised a specialist asbestos removal team to come in to remove it because they have to break it up and the potential for loose fibres. With the asbestos sheeting(high risk) I paint over it with emulsion. I think it would be more dangerous to remove than leave intact. (The thing is these days we don't have to rely on industry 'experts' to tell us what's safe, we can find out everything online and make an informed 'rational' decision ourselves). So that's how I deal with it and I'm following the advice given by the authorities. That's the same advice for everyone irrespective of whether they have ocd or not. As I said the body can excrete low levels of toxins, including lead. But asbesos fibres are different. So yes those that it seriously impairs their breathing or causes cancer have been exposed to a high dose of fibres or exposed to small amounts regularly. But if any number of fibres(and all asbestos dust is fibres) get stuck in your lungs the body sends the immune system into overdrive and that's what causes the scarring). So that's why irrespective of if someone has ocd or not the advice is, don't disturb it or get a specialist team in to remove it. Contamination is a real possibility with both of those toxic substances which is why the HSE recommend using disposable gloves and protective clothing and not allowing those to come into contact with anything else like daily wear. One of the problems with builders and lead was that they'd get the dust on their hands, smoke a cigarette, eat their lunch or touch their mouths, so the HSE recommend gloves and thorough hand washing. @OCD slave can I make a few suggestions. 1. Thinking back have you always been overly concerned about harm coming to your family and are these toxic substance the latest concern, or is this down to the property that's causing these concerns? 2. You could try sitting quietly sometime and thinking about that artex ceiling; observe the thoughts and feeling you experience. Try to see what you feel like physically; eg, in terms of anxiety and try to reduce that by deep slow breathing or similar techniques. So after just thinking about the problem see if you can be aware of and take control to reduce your anxiety. In affect follow the advice of the experts on toxic substances and either take precautions or call in an asbestos removal team. Know that you've done what's required for basic safety and work on your levels of fear and anxiety either yourself or with a therapist.
  5. I like the title of this thread 'different perspective?' generally (and as I said way back looking at this from the harm coming to family point of view may help). We do see some people on here who get stuck, have many sessions of therapy and are still stuck or relapse. Some then say we've been talking to this person for years, giving them the same advice. Off they go for more CBT and return later still stuck. But when on a few occasions I've said let's try a different perspective, some people try their best to undermine me. It's your prerogative to give the advice you give, you're already doing that, so why do you have a problem with me giving a different perspective. Nothing I say is unhelpful to the poster(nothing I said is unhelpful to bluegas, except he interprets it that way, rather than shifting his thinking). Surely it's up to the poster to decide which info or advice or different perspective is helpful to them and they will respond to those.
  6. Are you saying that's not true of some builders? Precautions with some substances is necessary. It's no wonder these substance and contamination issues aren't taken seriously by many. It creates a problem when we are all told lies for years, we are almost meant to keep believing the lies, the spin, the propaganda from industry, it's like a tide of misinformation that people cling onto. Intelligent and informed people(and builders) know the risks and take precautions. (On site)>Hard hats, boots, overalls, gloves......it's just common sense. If ocd is partly about losing control, then I think to be informed about the substances and how to handle them properly is taking back control.
  7. Forget tigers, I was just making a point about how natural anxiety and fear are, just in the the right context. Nice anecdote about your grandfather. I wonder if that's part of the problem. Let's just take lead in petrol(as it's been banned in UK since 2000), the inventor of the process knew the dangers as all the workers involved in the early process succumbed to lead poisoning and the inventor himself succumbed to complicted effects later. He also knew that ethanol worked, which is what they use now. But the inventor told journalists and the public it was safe, the petrochemical industries confirmed it was safe. So that may be part of the problem, a public which is too trusting of industries who make profit and in that case lied to us for 80 years. Also builders often act macho and like they are invincible, don't take precautions and regret it later. With both asbestos fibre and lead the effects and damge aren't revealed for decades. Actually it depends on each unique situation. With you @OCD slave it depends on how old the lead is, what sort of a state it's in, cracked, etc and what sort of work needs carrying out like if it needs beating into shape. It's not the actual touching that too much of a problem it's the potential dust and contamination thereafter.
  8. I think ocd does become a more complex issue when the object causing anxiety and fear has some validity. So in reality it's best when dealing with toxic substances to either take the recommended precautions or allow professionals to take the recommended precautions. Doing that doesn't stop anyone living a normal life, it's just sensible. I agree that overthinking, over checking, and over worrying don't help. And that over exaggerated fear is something that can be helped by therapy. But as suggested by OCD slave maybe a new perspective might help, ie: working on those fears of harm coming to her family and reducing the overall anxiety about that might as a first step, followed by realising that these toxic substances aren't a great threat to her family as imagined.
  9. @OCD slave actually I was suggesting you wear gloves if handling lead. Of course the HSE advise all workers to use gloves and protective clothing because they regularly come into contact with it. The body is quite good at expelling many toxins if the use isn't regular but precautions are always the best approach.
  10. Just take necessary precautions, lead isn't that dangerous to touch but just wear gloves. I used to be much more wary of these types of substances but like I said knowing more and how to deal with them makes me feel safer. I agree about trying not to disturb say asbestos fibres if possible. I suppose you can't do ERP with the actual substances but you could with the thoughts they conjure in your mind. I think I just use my will power to over ride the anxiety and fear of these substances.
  11. My point really was that our internal responses were an evolutionary development to real life dangers like tigers. But a few asbestos fibres or lead contaminant are minor dangers in real life and don't warrant the same degree of internal processes. When I looked into some of this, they knew of the dangers from lead in fuel back in the 1920's and asbestos fibres back in the late 1930's, but put profits first. It took until the end of the 20th century for them both to be banned in the UK, due to mounting evidence from the health service. So all people can do is know their air is safer and avoid anything with lead in it. Also get professionals to remove asbestos fibres in a safe way. I suppose one possible way forward is to work on reducing those heightened feelings of anxiety with regard to your family's health.
  12. I can see how much experimentation was going on from late 19th to mid-20th century, so Schwitters and Kandinsky were a part of that and there are similarilties between the collages and paintings. Kandinsky really leaped in stages from a sort of natural impressionism through to pure abstraction. He saw his work as spiritual but I see it as intellectual. The first three of this series were destroyed as Kandinsky was on the list of modernists. Composition VII>
  13. Looking at different perspectives or different ways of thinking I think can definitely help particularly if you feel stuck. I think humans forget when living in modern environments that anxiety and fear have been a natural part of our emotional/intellectual life for all our existence. It's part of who we are and led to our survival. Anxiety about crossing a tiger habitat and fear of that tiger would have saved us. So we do have high anxiety about going into any situation that may bring harm to ourselves or our family and we have in built systems that; release hormones, stop digestion, muscles prepare and generally we prepare our body and mind if we come into contact with something we fear. The fight or flight preparations. So if you can reduce your anxiety about harm coming to your family, accept that it's completely natural (if heightened) and come to terms with it that might help a lot. I think we also need to evaluate modern environment anxiety and fear of whatever and realise that most of it only exists in our minds. The external threat is in reality minimal, but it's our internal responses that are still going into overdrive.
  14. howard

    Photography

    Interesting Photo/art from Sven Pfrommer from the Human Blur series, photo + mixed media>
  15. Yes as Angst says you'll have to be persistent, patiently persistent as all services are stretched.(In this area with great health coverage including mental health support I still had to fight to get counselling a few years ago and now it's even more difficult. Everything seems to be shifting to phone calls only). So keep trying with Victim Support, just regularly every few weeks, they may be overwhelmed at present but won't then forget about you or think you've found another solution. Even my friends who didn't get therapy after street attacks have recovered enough to feel safe outside and although they don't forget what happened to them they have been able to get back to normal life. Bullies act the way they do for their own gratification, but don't let their actions impact upon your life any longer. You are more than that and them. It's really about you taking back control of your mind, body and life. If you start to focus on negatives, make yourself balance it with positives(I have to do this sometimes), you will have to make yourself exercise and with both of those in progress make a plan and slowly take back control of your life, believe in yourself.
  16. I'm still going to keep pushing you to contact Victim support, their therapists are specialists at helping people come to terms with what happened to them, how to move on and let it go. I think you tend to focus on all your negatives, but you have to balance that with the positives; you're well educated and could get rewarding employment and there's a whole world out there that you shouldn't be excluding yourself from just because of a few incidents. We all come across bullies at some time and if we survive we learn from the experience and don't let ourselves fall into that situation again. How's the exercise going? Have you been out much and what have you found enjoyable to do. (Gaming keeps me sane, switch off from the world and play as a hero)
  17. I just found the whole Merzbau project to be fascinating, an art work but also absurd. It was supposed to spread from city to city like an installational virus but was bombed by the RAF. I also dislike box shaped rooms. And there were a few reconstructions. Just looking at the news, another art work attack protest, so I wondered how far these physical attacks went back. I think old gods and leader's portraits were often destroyed when they went out of favour. Even reconstructed in the image of a new leader as we saw with Egyptians. There have been mass religious and cultural destructions of art and books when a new religion or culture became dominatant. The suffragette's made a protest by defacing Velazquez's Rokeby Venus, Tomoko Yonezu spray painted the Mona Lisa in a protest about disibility rights, Tony Shafrazi sprayed a slogan on Guernica......so it seems most famous art works are a target for protests. Which made me think about restorers. I find their work fascinating as well; removing layers of old varnish, repair and repainting...often revealing what the original painting looked like.
  18. So it does sound like Health concern. I suppose it depends what these new illnesses are and if they could be caused by contamination....which could explain the contamination theme. It's usually bacteria or viruses that can be transfered by contamination, so if your actual illnesses could be caused by either then you could stop the contamination by simply washing your hands upon returning home(not touching your eyes, nose or mouth while out as with coronavirus), and before preparing or intake of food or drink. Also boosting your immune system helps. I do have contamination issues and am generally careful, with that and the immune boosters, I rarely get colds or other easily transmissable illnesses.
  19. I realise now that most of the artists I got into at first were on that Degenerate list but I came to each for different reasons, like Kirchner because he used traditional woodcuts and translated that to his art, Kurt Schwitters with his collages and his Merzbau installations, here's the one he made in England>
  20. @OCD slave I think people can tell us their personal anecdotes, people can claim they are experts, but you have had experts check your property and you have a report based on your property so that is I believe what you will believe. When I look on line there does seem to be conflicting information; manufacturers and their 'experts' saying it's safe and at the other end of the spectrum others who work in health care saying it isn't and all necessary precautions should be taken. Hence you'll find asbestos removal professionals in every location. It did become well known about the dangers of asbestos in the 1960's after those that worked in health care started seeing the results of exposure; first those who had had high exposure working in mines and later those who had installed it. It obviously took until then the 60's for their conditions to develop. So companies have been removing it slowly since then(it was basically used as a filler in many applications or in sheet form to stop fires spreading), and I'm guessing your house must date back to last century sometime. So leaving the artex ceiling intact sounds a sensible precaution. Strangely enough I find that the more I know about a substance, it's dangers and how to mitigate against them + finding out all about the removal process(I've had items removed from my home that have been here since the 60's), the more in control and empowered I feel. I don't think that will work for anyone else. But a therapist should be able to help you feel less anxious about dangerous substances and just being less anxious is on the way to recovery.
  21. @Robin43 it's almost like you've tied yourself up in a paradox. If someone didn't have ocd and had numerous head impacts and a disloged retina then they would want to know that they hadn't caused any damage and get reassurrance<which is exactly what you want with a health problem. If there is a problem then someone without ocd would take the advice of professionals and take preventative measures to stop the condition developing. There is an immense amount of research going into this condition. But you don't want to know. So would you prefer it to be ocd? Of course you could do both; CBT for your ocd(you must be an expert in it now) and get some reassurance about your health for closure.
  22. Well it does sound like ocd in some respects, but and I'm just exploring ideas here, maybe a combination of themes. So one is anxiety and fear of dangerous substances, but also health concerns and anxiety about allowing harm to come to your family. So most people are aware of which substances can cause us harm but it only registers at say a 10-20 % fear level, but wiith you it seems to be 80%+ fear level. So recovery could mean bringing that fear level down slowly. (or move house)
  23. I don't know but this sounds like one of those cases where we start with a fear of something which is credible, like fear of asbestos but then ocd takes it and exaggerates the risks out of all proportion until it becomes distinct from the source. It becomes a self perpetuating spiral of fear which is further empowered by overthinking and imagining the worst possible risks not only to ourselves but to family members(really empowering it). So you have a dillema; having your house/home in a bad state of repair isn't healthy for you psychologically but getting the work done is triggering these over exaggerated fears. So in realistic terms it would help if you could see that the fears are exaggerated and therefore only exist to that level in your mind, take reasonable steps to protect yourself and your family while getting the work done by professionals. It is difficult to find a builder that you can trust and many do have a blase attitude, but there are specialists and attitudes are changing. Painters are offering non-toxic internal paint these days for example. It's not always about 'recovery', but rationalising and understanding, while manageing our fears and compromising as much as we can tolerate.
  24. Yes I've always like that Franz Marc painting. I would see that as an emotional psychological picture. I think artists at that time were rebelling and trying to re-establish the importance of emotions especially in men. Yes it seems that many European artists went through some tough times in what was happening in say Germany at that time and the psychological consequences on them. The artists were trying to reinvent the world, not only moving forward from traditional art form representation, but also hoping to instigate a reinvention for humanity. So seeing the Nazis rise to power set that back and like you say Kirchner's work was destroyed or sold off abroad. Which must have been disheartening on a number of levels. In the self portrait above(again with his cat) I was mainly intrigued by the blank left side of his face and that strong orange pattern in the foreground and yes the arms/hands are placed in a stylised way.
  25. Oh yes I've made lots of rhythmic marks and dots, it is soothing. It's so great all my life noise and banging sounds have really disturbed me and stressed me out, but noise cancelling headphones...I can shut the world out. I think we learn from copying images or nature(learning exercises in perspective,etc) but it's when we create something really new that it feels like that leap. I did watch a YT tutorial about Neurographic images and it's that freeing up to just play that is creative and fun. (I'm wondering, I've given the council until next week to get the work done so I can clear the room, maybe they are broke). But I'll get round to finishing that pic soon Another Kirchner>
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